From the files of the Simpson-ian Institution--Bart & the Blackboard.

Cafe Society
1

Bart gets endless hours of punishment, writing the same things 10,000 times on the chalkboard.

Gleaned from the WWW, here are some, but not all, of those things.

Do you know others?

Can you create new & better things for Bart to put on the Blackboard during the intro?

Just remember–youdidn’tdoitnobodysawyoudoittheycan’tproveanything! :slight_smile:

2

My personal favorite, from The Springfield Files

The truth is not out there.
Also,

I did not learn everything I needed to know in kindergarten.

I will not cut corners
" " " "
" " " "

A fire drill does not demand a fire

3

My favorite, on the eve of the 2000 election:

I WILL NOT PLANT SUBLIMINAL MESSAGORES

Then two weeks later, when we still didn’t know who won Florida:

I AM NOT THE CURRENT PRESIDENT

4

I will not show off, written in fancy letters. by the way, the simpson’s online database has all of them

5

This gag will soon be no more apparently because more ad time has been sold.

6

One that SHOULD have been done is “I will not make fun of Brazil” (after the show got sued about their Rio episode)

Brian

7

Hahaha, the bogus chalkboard gag lives on!!!:slight_smile:

Back in the mid-1990s, a poster to alt.tv.simpsons was maintaining a list of blackboard gags, and he inserted a fake one so he could tell if other fan sites were compiling their own lists independently or just ripping off his. Looks like the OP stumbled across a list with the fake one on it.

No, I’m not telling which one it is.
The most up-to-date complete list I know of is here

8

My favorite:

My arm is oh so tired…

9

Nobody cares what the definition of “is” is