Well, this thread has been fun but I just got a new batch of army figures in the mail this morning. I collect them as a hobby and set them up…so I’ll talk to you all tomorrow. I’m off to go play with my privates.
With the election coming up, I want to be extra patriotic, so I’m off to polish my helmet.
It’s late, and my matress sprung a spring! I’ve been putting it off all day, but it’s late, and it needs to be fixed. It’s a shame I have to crawl inside to fix any little thing with it…but it is comfortable. Anyway, I’ll be in my bunk.
I recently ordered an Action Figure to complete my set. From the movie Fun with Dick and Jane… it’s a comedy thing with Duchovney’s ex and Jim Carrey?
Yeah, Jim Carrey’s figure arrived, but the Tia Leone one wasn’t in the box. So I called them and they are sending the mate out to me express delivery. I’m impatient.
I guess I’ll just play with my Dick until it comes.
Wow! I’m impressed.
Finding this thread was a stroke of good luck. But reading it to the end only made a mess of things.
*Come *on you guys! Do you feel better now?
I will in a little while.
Just bought this new Flight Simulator game for my PS3, but damn, I wasn’t aware I’d have to purchase extra accessories, one of which being a joystick. The instructions say it should only take about 5 minutes to set it up. That being said, I’ll be right back, I need to go configure my joystick.
I was cleaning my toilet when I realized the Tidy Bowl man has gone missing. I need to go find the little man in the boat.
Hey, a euphemism thread about masturbation! I’m gonna’ run one up the flagpole and see who salutes! Er … I mean, I gotta’ go weed the jonquils.
No … tune the Marconi!
Um … inspect the plumbing?
Check the depth gague?
Oh, hell, I’m going to lock myself in my bathroom with some dirty thoughts and manually manipulate my penis until I orgasm. There, I said it and I’m not ashamed!
I am never gonna’ get the hang of this!
My car got a flat today. But you know what? For some reason I really want to jack it.
I got the artillery, so I am gonna call in a fire mission on my chin
Declan
My wife’s little rooster, Egg-Yoke, was a pain in my ass! Little sum-bitch would be all up crowin’ before I even got up.
I knocked the Egg around once in a while. It was only a matter of time before I finished it off.
But, a bird came round and snatched that cock and I haven’t laid a hand on it since!
its been a long day at work… I sent Jack and Jill up to the well to get some water, and they wound up getting injured in some slip and fall incident. The accident is gonna cost so much that I have to let one of them go… I don’t know if I should lay Jill or Jack off…
FML
My penis is so stupid!
This used to mean fart. Did they change it? Someone really needs to keep me up to date on these things.
Wait, what’s this a euphemism for? You’re going to… what, bake a cake or something?
And you all need to stop being so teste. Now if you’ll excuse my, I have to rearrange by cutlery draw. I’ll start with a little spoon, then will come the big old fork.
There’s a problem with the restroom door at work. The ladies’ door works fine, but I find I really have to manhandle the man handle.
So you’ll be beating your meat then?
