You have a blood-stained shirt that you want to replace, so you purchase a nice new white shirt, but while trying to locate and remove all the straight pins from it, you prick yourself and bleed on the shirt, so you want to replace it, so you purchase a nice new white shirt, but while trying to locate and remove all the straight pins from it, you prick yourself and bleed on the shirt, so you want to replace it, so you purchase a nice new white shirt, but while trying to locate and remove all the straight pins from it, you prick yourself and bleed on the shirt, so you want to replace it, so you purchase a nice new white shirt, but while trying to locate and remove all the straight pins from it, you prick yourself and bleed on the shirt, so you want to replace it, so you purchase a nice new white shirt, but while trying to locate and remove all the straight pins from it, you prick yourself and bleed on the shirt, so you want to replace it, so you purchase a nice new white shirt, but while trying to locate and remove all the straight pins from it, you prick yourself and bleed on the shirt, so you want to replace it . . . .
What I’d really like is a voodo doll of the son-of-a-bitch who insists on using straight pins to package new shirts. That way I would know what to do with every pin I have to pull out of a new shirt.
I appreciate the straight pins. Whenever I have a boil to pop, I can never seem to find a needle to lance it with, so I just go to Macy’s and buy a new shirt. That gives me like 14 pins to stash for later.
I liked “Express for Men” way better back when it was Structure, and sold smart casual clothes for awesome people, instead of dress casual clothes for yuppies.
I totally don’t understand why you’d buy anything for regular wear (other than, say, a suit) that needs to be professionally cleaned and pressed.
Van Heusen makes phenomenal wrinkle-free dress shirts which are actually wrinkle-free - I stick them in the washing machine on the regular cycle, stick them in the dryer, and stick them on a hanger, and they look perfect. They don’t even need ironing.
The best part is if you go to the mall department stores they’re usually on sale at at least one for $25ish, or even less if you don’t mind getting them in the weird colors (plum, avocado, salmon, whatever).
I’ve had one of those things for nearly 10 years and it looks just about new; no fraying, no loose threads, no wobbly collar.
Bet your ass I would. It took me ten minutes to buy five shirts because I knew exactly what style and size I wanted, because I know how they fit. I just had to pick out the colors. Though I wouldn’t mind some sizing in there if it’ll make it non-wrinkled enough to wear off the hanger.
I tend to find one thing that works and hang on to it for dear life. Which is why I currently own about fifteen small Express 1MX shirts in various colors, 5 pairs of Levi’s 514’s in various colors, 20 American Apparel 50/50 t-shirts in various colors, and two pairs of Gola Chase sneakers.
The packaging on all that shit serves mainly to annoy me.
The worst is that stealth, mostly transparent sticker, with the size on it that goes completely unnoticed until the hot girl you’re flirting with at the water cooler peels it off you.
While I usually frankly admit that I buy brand-name stuff just because I like the brand name, I have to agree with this. I bought a couple of Hawaiian shirts at Wal-Mart once and they were both pretty much unwearable after 4-5 washes.
Sam Vimes used to buy his boots at the Discworld equivalent of WalMart. Now that he’s married, his wife won’t let him do that any more. Especially since she has about 50 boxes of still nearly new high quality boots in her attic.
No, the shirts are worth nothing. They are taken out and buried in the backyard like a dead mongrel. The packaging is shipped back to the manufacturer, as that is where the value lies.
Are you kidding? By requiring the application of all these packaging layers, these clothing manufacturers are providing an almost-living wage to East Asian labor-camp orphans.
Suck the blood out of the shirt. No, really. If the blood is still reasonably wet, and it’s your own blood, your saliva will take it out with no stain, better than cold water.
Tut tut…a gentleman always purchases his shirts from only the finest bespoke haberdashery. Quality is measured in direct proportion to the extent of packaging. On one occassion in my callow youth I mistakenly accepted a gift of an inferior shirt from an admirer (the less said about them the better!) My manservant Widman was nonplussed while unpacking said item, and made his displeasure known with the most withering glances. Finally he could take it no more! With a level of venom I (thankfully) never witnessed again he risked exceeding my forebearance by declaring, “FOUR PINS! No civilized shirt will ever again dare enter this house with less than the required EIGHT!” I feared that I would have to lay a cold compress on his brow.