Fuck you, Blockbuster Video! Fuck you hard!

Last week, I wanted to rent a movie from Blockbuster Video. All hell broke loose…

First of all, let me set the facts straight. We have a family account there. My mother and myself were both listed under the same account, no restrictions or anything. I never had any problems renting things there, myself alone, before. My mother, nor myself, has/had made any changes to the account.

So, I go pick out a movie, take it to the counter, with membership card and cash in hand. Then Clerk #1 scans the tape, scans my membership card… then asks to see my drivers license… …my driver’s license, WHAT THE FUCK??? They never asked for that before. Clerk #1 then tells me that I am not on the account, and that only my mother can rent videos under that account. Again, WHAT THE FUCK? I tell her it is a family account and that I WAS on it, and never had any problems renting, before. I don’t understand what has happened. She says she’s sorry and that I can sign up for my own new individual account. STRIKE ONE AGAINST BLOCKBUSTER VIDEO!

Then and there, I get a membership application and fill it out. A different clerk, #2, comes to register my new account. Clerk #2 asks for a secondary id, such as credit card, car registration, utility bill, etc. I used my current car registration…

Here’s where the shit starts to hit the fan. She then asks if there is anyone at my home who can verify my current phone number and current address. I say yes, and she proceeds to call my home. My mom answers and the phone. I hear the clerk start saying some strange things such as, “So, MagicalSilverKey does not live there?” etc Uht-oh… she concludes the call, and denies me membership… ARGH :mad:

I fly home, in a rage equivalent to the Incredible Hulk, and ask my mom what the hell happened on the phone. Turns out mom didn’t have her glasses on and couldn’t read the caller id, so she thought it was a telemarketer calling for me. Mom also failed to ask who was calling. (We constantly get barraged with telemarketing calls.) Ok, so mom made a mistake, but Clerk #2 made a much bigger one: The person who called, did NOT identify herself, what business she represented, or why she was calling. STRIKE TWO AGAINST BLOCKBUSTER.

About three days later, I decide to try again…

I go in, and I see, much to my dismay, that Clerk #2 is working there again. This time I came prepared. I brought yet extra id: a current bill, my car registration, plus I have a vaild driver’s license, and a state id.
I fill out the form again and Clerk #2 comes to “help” me. I hand her the form and she starts plunking away at the computer, and then she says the last thing I wanted to hear, “Weren’t you in here the other day?”
I say yes, I was, and she says, “Didn’t I call to verify your number and they said that you didn’t live there?” I say, yes and that my mom said that because she thought it was a telemarketing call. I then tell Clerk #2 that I have extra id with me. She says she doesn’t need to see it, and tries to verify my telephone number again. She asks if anyone is home, and I say yes. (I also had told my mom, before I left, to be expecting a call from them.) So, Clerk #2 picks up the phone, dials, and then… long pause…long pause… no answer. She hangs up and denies me membership again! I tell her to try the call again. She claims she let it ring fifteen times, and that she’s sorry.

At this point, it is all I can do to keep myself from going postal on her ass. I did sternly retort aloud, “I guess I will have to go to (competitor) and take my business elsewhere!” and I left the store. I then went to the competitor store, and rented my movies.

When I get home, I tell mom what happened, and she said the phone did NOT ring, and my dad who was visiting, confirmed that. Then I even went and checked all three caller id boxes in the house. NO CALL FROM BLOCKBUSTER VIDEO… hmmm interesting, that means that little fucking cunt of a clerk FAKED the second call right in front of me!!! Come to think of it, it’s not possible for our phone to ring 15 times anyways, because the ans. mach. picks up in 4 rings, and always on. She probably faked the computer stuff too, for all I know.

Someone must die! Oh how I would love to see that little whore fired!!! Having the audacity to lie and misrepresent her actions/duties on the job! I never did get the little cunt’s name, but I don’t care. I am boycotting Blockbuster Video for the rest of my life! They can go fuck themselves with a vcr sideways up the ass. I don’t know for sure what the deal was, but I think Clerk #2 was just being an ass to see if she could get away with it. Maybe she just didn’t like the way I looked, who the hell knows. That’s okay, though, because my money won’t be contributing to her paycheck. It’s her’s and Blockbuster’s loss.

After the second try failed, I went home and ran all Blockbuster coupons, and membership cards thru the paper shredder. They will never see me again. I have talked my mom into not renting from them anymore either.

One last note… Hey fuckhead clerk, what do you do if the person applying for membership lives alone, and no one’s ever there to confirm the number? Do you deny them too fuckwad, or do you expect a houseplant to answer the phone? Do you plan to hold the phone for 10 mins while I run home and pickup? ASSHOLE! FUCK YOU! FUCK YOU HARD!

(FTR: Mom couldn’t go with me to the store to try to help straighten anything out, because she was recovering from some outpatient surgery, and had to rest. I don’t blame my mom for the mess. It’s not her fault. The clerk(s) didn’t handle things in an appropriate business manner.)

I just thought I would add, that during the entire course of this disaster, I never once was discourteous, billigerent, or contemptous to any of the jerk-clerks at the store. I know it wouldn’t have been worth it, if I had blown my top, but I’d sure feel a better sense of closure about it.

I would give about anything though if I could hire Joanie Laurer (Chyna of WWF) to come kick that little bitches ass. :smiley:

10.0 from the American judge.

Kinda makes me glad I don’t own a TV or a VCR.

MSK, you’re sounding more and more delusional every day.

Blockbuster calls your house to verify you live there now? What the hell is up with that? Did they get a memo from the FBI that Al Qaeda’s next fiendish plot is to rent all the copies of popular movies in major cities and then not return them!

And what if you’re single?

Bah – what a lame rant. The target is freaking Blockbuster, and that’s the best you can do?

They deserve worse for assaulting our collective colour-sense and raping us in the ears if our judgement is poor enough to allow us to enter their portals.

That, and I rented Ken Russell’s Whore there, even though Blockbuster felt it necessary to repackage it as “If You Can’t Say It, Just See It”

They merit a lot more scorn than you were able to provide.

A pox on their regenerative organs.

I brought back a video to Ballbuster. They said it was late. I asked how much the fine was. $4.75! I looked up at the prices, and it said rentals were $4.39 (or something). I asked why they were fining me more than it would have cost to rent it for the same amount of time. He said there’s tax. Are you supposed to charge sales tax on a FINE?

Hollywood Video did when I set up my account there (2.5 years ago). They asked if anyone was home, I said no because I live alone, then asked if I had an answering machine, that answer was also no (hadn’t had my voice mail set up yet). I told them they could call information to verify it, if Bellsouth had me listed yet. They ended up not calling.

Argh! I have had similar problems with Blockbuster here. I usually go to the other vidiot store up the street, but I was pretty darned sure I had an account at BB, and had rented there several times. Then, of course, I get the “no, you’re not listed here…no, we don’t have you in our database” speech. Ack! Luckily, lately they’ve been good, but I’m always on edge when I go to check out my movies, wondering if they will give me trouble. The other store started making me show ID every time I rented something, since about a year ago, when they never had before, but other than that they’re a lot better than Blockbuster. Sigh.

Nice rant, btw.

Former Blockbuster worker here. Yes, I was a stormtrooper, and no, I never hit a damn thing.

First thing you should know is that the driver’s license thing is a long-standing, oft-ignored rule for all Blockbuster clerks. Most don’t bother, but when they do, it comes off as an asshole thing to do. For the most part, I agree, it is an inconvenience. But a few trainwreck mishaps involving (for instance) someone renting an armful of new releases on a friend’s account, skipping town, and leaving the (now ex-) friend with loads of debt can underscore the utility of said rule.

The “you’re not on the account” thing…well, most clerks are fine letting you rent even if your first name is not listed on the account. Just as long as your last name matches. Sounds fine, right? Yeah, right, until an ugly divorce allows an asshole husband to leave his wife with hundreds of dollars in fees that a manager can’t just write off without sending a collection agency after someone. Hear me now: this type of thing happens more often than you’d think.
If, way back when, some half-trained kid assured (hell, maybe he was right at the time, depending on how old the account is) your mom that you could indeed rent on the “family account” (no such thing in the computers, BTW) as long as you showed your ID or something…well, wrong or not, something like that could’ve lead to your first name not being explicitly listed on the account. Again, most clerks don’t bother enforcing this one, anyway. But every once in a while, someone makes the mistake of taking the job a little too seriously, and whammo.

The phone number thing is relatively new. It’s aim is obvious: expired info plus non-working phone equals no way for Blockbuster to track you in the event you decide to make off with merchandise. These rules would not exist if there weren’t some kind of need. But like someone mentioned, telling the clerk no one’s there to answer will probably make them just forget about it.

But your troubles, MSK, are due mostly to a lazy bitch of an employee. There are many there working at Blockbuster, and I’ll tell you why: few workers are more disgruntled than Blockbuster workers. They apply thinking they’ve hit the sweet job of all sweet jobs, never realizing that it’s a load of neverending busy work for minimum wage. It’s hard to quit unless you do so right away.

But anyway, yeah, fuck the girl, fuck Blockbuster even. But just remember that the rules are in place for a reason. Though they may seem clumsy, that clumsiness mostly comes from their inconsistent application and enforcement - blame that on your distruntled/half-trained/lazy clerks.

Oh, and be frugal with “I’m taking my business some place else.” Granted, if such occurances were to take place in mass numbers, the store would take a hit. But very often, the words themselves really do no damage unless the line behind you is somehow on your side. Generally, it just gets you laughed at once you leave. Like I said, disgruntled workers who get paid bare minimum for doing the bare minimum. They don’t give a fuck where you rent; their job is secure. One account ain’t topplin’ ol’ Viacom.

It’s evil, yes. But I work at an arcade now, so I feel clean again.

MSK was bored so to Blockbuster he went,
But when it came time to check out, away he was sent.
“Your paper’s aren’t valid, your phone won’t check out”
said the choad at the counter, making MSK pout.

Valiant, he was, and tried again soon
But choad-girl was tricky and a bit of a loon.
A fake phone call and some imaginary working
had MSK livid and ready for urking.

Now Blockbuster’s heading his ‘piece o’ shit’ list
and see him stand shaking a frustrated fist
at new rules and regs and that mean, lazy bitch
who should rightly be thrown into a snake-ridden ditch.

:smiley: hope you don’t mind the name shortening, MagicalSilverKey, but your name is REALLY hard to rhyme!


Pssst . . . the rest of the situation truly sucks, but is it possible that she misdialed, and was calling a wrong number where no one was home?

Once upon a time, I too went to Blockbuster. They had all the movies and games I’d ever need! I could keep myself entertained on many long, snowy, cold weekends with the choices available to me! Alas, the sparles began to fade, and the music became more bland. When my eyes were finally able to focus properly I was horrified at what I saw!
What was once a blissful arrangement of new releases and the latest game for my console became nothing more than a ragged wall of over-rated crap that I had no interest in seeing and tired repeats of games long ago overplayed. Not to mention the forever long lines of the drooling masses! Arg! Then, in the depths of my dismay came the worst blow of all.
The horrid little wench behind the counter doubts my identity, though I had rented from this particular establishment on many occasions. How dare her! After finally getting this little “misunderstanding” cleared up via a couple phone calls, some of my blood and a promissory note for Blockbuster to have my first born, I left with my weekend entertainment. As often happens in life, my plans for the weekend happened to change and I trekked to the mountains for some communing with nature and clearing of my mind. Apparently in my new found state of clear headedness, I somehow managed to neglect my sworn duties to the almighty Blockbuster and forgot to return my parcel in swift order.
Still having the bitter taste in my mouth from my previous experience, I figured I would simply deposit said parcels into the return box and be on my merry way. Expecting the call of the late fee gods via mail, I waited for the notice. And waited. And waited. And waited. I, starting to feel a smidge guilty about owing the late fee gods, went to the store and paid off the balance of my account. Fast forward to a few weeks later: I’m balancing my checkbook and - you guessed it - they had pulled the amount that I’d already paid out of my account automatically, without notification or consent. This was indeed the last shattering of the once magic that was Blockbuster. I’ve not been back since, nor ever will go back.

PC games and Netflix are the only way to fly!

I pity you poor devils who don’t live near Video Vault, a nifty independent video store located inside a 19th-century house in Old Town Alexandria, Va. They have whole rooms devoted to just horror, sci-fi, martial arts, and cult classics. They get the really obscure DVD releases that the Yahoos at Blockbuster can’t even spell, let alone know about.

I used to use Netflix, especially since I got a sweet deal to have 4 movies out, instead of just 3, at the regular 19.95 monthly fee. But I hated having to wait for the new movies to be available and they never got the new Special Editions of movies they already had, so I dropped out. Now, I go to either Video Vault or to Potomac Video, another local video store a short walk from my place–plus they have a “back room”–Ralph Wiggum, “Everybody’s hugging!”

Blockbuster can suck the grime off the soles of my shoes, especially because they cater to the morons who prefer pan and scan, and they edit movies on their own. If I rent a movie, I want to see the theatrical cut, not Blockbuster’s bowldlerized mess.

Hollywood Video did it to me (I started boycotting Blockbuster long ago, though Hollywood ain’t much different…), and I am single/living alone.

I simply told them that nobody would be at my house (true).

Then they asked if I had an answering machine (no).

Then they asked if the phone was in service–if it would ring when they called (yes).

Aside from that, I didn’t have any trouble.

It was surprising to me, though, until I decided that they must do it because so many people give them fake numbers.

I hate Blockbuster, even more so than other chains (like Hollywood Video). They’re expensive and their service is just plain awful. If you have one in your area, I recommend visiting an independent video store. If you’re in the Madison, WI, area, try Four Star Video. It is excellent – though it, amusingly, stores soft-core pornography in the (sizeable) “Documentary” section.

MSK, you should have contacted Blockbuster’s HQ to see if you could get that incompetent faker disciplined.

Believe me, I would have liked to, but how would I prove any of what transpired? It wasn’t worth it anyway.

From now on, I am renting all my movies from Hollywood Video or Family Video.

I highly doubt it. I told her to try the call again, but she refused and gave me the “I let it ring 15 times” speech.

I, too, used to work for BlockBuster, and I only rent there now whenever we’re on that side of town. I prefer the nice independent I Luv Video by my place, but alas, it’s a good twenty minute drive from most of my friends, so sometime’s we’re screwed.
I understand all the ins and outs, the why’s and whatnots of showing id’s, making phone calls, and all that stuff, but to be honest, MSK, you just got a shitty employee. I know I didn’t give a shit when giving out memberships. As for not being on the account, when they called about your membership, they could have just asked your mom over the phone if it was alright to put you on the list. Of course, she had no idea who was calling, so she probably would have told them to fuck off anyway, so maybe that’s a mute point.
But don’t be sad. BlockBuster’s selection sucks. If it’s more then five years old, it’s probably not there. They’re absolutely horrible, and they’re making the attempt to make all their stores strickly DVDs in the next ten years or so, so their selection just keeps getting worse. Unless you like renting five hundred copies of Pearl Harbor. Be glad you don’t have an account with them, they’ll just find some fucking way to charge your ass money, and in the meantime, you’ll be watching the same crap. Get out, see what little video stores have to offer you, and watch something decent.