Damn, I thought I WAS being more liberal by joining the theatre… ah, well, I just have a more resigned attitude than my brother (yes, we’re related) does. After all, I’ve been taking this shit for a couple years longer.
(He also seems to think that Satan- not OUR Satan- is possessing me… he’s said that to my face on more than one occasion).
Wow… I think this deserves the mother of all WHOOSHes.
Byz…?
You go, boy!
Ah, a possible explanation for Byz’s reaction-- her profile notes that she lives in Salt Lake, so perhaps the Mormon crack pissed her off, as she likely is of that faith, was brought up in it, or is friends with a number of Mormons. Our board is very diverse, friends, and Mormon-bashing is just as crass as anything-else-bashing, even if you belong to that group itself.
NOT trying to piss anyone off. . . too late, perhaps. . .
Your Dad cracks me up. Maybe you can send him over to fix my keyboard. It seems to be clogged with the drink that just spewed from my nostrils.
Could be… I really don’t care of someone’s opinion of the Pros and Cons of the Mormon religion in this case. I know that my dad is Mormon, and his fanatical devotion to that religion is what contributes to many of his negative qualities. Someone who spends more time writing up his geneology and missionary pamphlets than working is NOT fulfilling his obligations to his family.
SPOOFE, Monster104, you have my sympathy. My dad is the same way, and our relations have become quite strained at this point.
He can’t repair shit in the house, but at least he admits it. However, this usually comes only after he’s broken something.
For years, my dad will go with some of his friends after work, sit in a parking lot, and drink 40s. Yeah, classy. When he comes home, he’s impossible to deal with. He yells about everything (not angry, just really LOUD) so you can’t focus on what you’re doing. He expects you to care about every little thing that went on at his job, but explains it in such a jargony way that you don’t know or care what he’s talking about.
Of course, if you complain, he gets pissed and says how he’s worked his ass off for you for 21 years, blah blah blah. This was one of the main causes of my parents’ divorce. One time he also pushed my mom down on the couch. I don’t think I’ve ever been so angry in all my life.
I am home from college, waiting for an internship to start in February. Dad has a new girlfriend. Given that my parents never had sex, my dad doing anything with someone who is not my mom makes me VERY uncomfortable, especially because I found out about his relationship by almost walking in on him and his girlfriend.
Dad understood why it was awkward, but didn’t seem to understand why I was EXTREMELY uncomfortable with her sleeping the night over while I was there. I told him so, and his response was, "You shouldn’t feel that way, " and “It’s my life, and I’m not going to change it for anyone, including you.” When I said that situation made me feel unwelcome in my own house, he said, “Then maybe you shouldn’t be here.”
Asshole.
My room is right across from his. It’s common courtesy to not have sex with someone when someone else, much less your SON, is right across the hall. He’s so oblivious to it, it blows my mind.
He’s also a racist, fails miserably to hide the fact that he smokes pot from me and then tells me how drugs are bad, has suddenly taken up stupid sayings like, “That’s tits,” and has no interest in anything besides Pink Floyd and NFL Football. He’s just out of touch with the world and lives as mundane a life as one can live in an urban industrial setting, which is VERY mundane. He didn’t even know what an “internship” was. And he refuses to change any of this, refuses to broaden his horizons.
It’s very frustrating, and mom is the exact opposite. I get to see her in a week. 
AH HA! HERE IT IS! The thread where a bit out of a private e-mail got posted and caused such a fuss. Ah, Spoofe, I’m so sorry all over again! It looks so, so, INSANE up there, all alone like that with no excuse in sight… shit, hon, I’m really sorry! 
Folks, I so screwed up. That post (on 1/6/01) should NOT have posted. Here or anywhere. Damn it but I down load, think up my posts off line, and then come back and post and yes, I so totally fucked up. MASSIVELY fucked up! I’m so sorry to Spoofe, whom I really like, and to Monster104 for this happening in his thread… I can’t even just say “my bad” because this is so bad… I’m really, really sorry… I really am. I so fucked up!
Anyway, I was GOING to send a PRIVATE e-mail to Spoofe about something he said in my fur thread (he made a reference to ‘human’ coats and I was going to bombast him and then go ‘just kidding’ and somehow I fucked it all up) and got my “rant” posted here. I’m really sorry to everyone who had to read that and try to figure out what fucking planet I was on this week… shit! I’m really, REALLY SORRY!
Why don’t you all just call me a fucking asshole or moron or whatever will make you feel better. No really, go ahead. Christ in a side car but I deserve it after a dumb assed post like that. It will make you feel better and Goddess knows I deserve to get my ass verbally kicked all over the Pit! What a fucking moron!
SHEESH!
Again, Spoofe, Monster, I am sincerely sorry for my fuck up. In the future I will do a better job of paying attention to WHAT THE FUCK I AM DOING ON LINE. I hope that helps. If it doesn’t? Ah blow me! What else can I do? I could offer a blow job but we all know how difficult that would be to cash in on…
Again, sorry. My very best to you and yours,
Byz
It sounds like your dad is going through a midlife crisis to me. My mother was single for almost my entire life until just a few years ago. When she started having sex again it was VERY awkward for me too. But I got over it. I’m not sure if it’s really “common courtesy” to not have sex when you’re around or if you just think that (and I too at one point) just because he never did it before. I mean, most people with a normal family life have a story of walking in on their parents. And his comments on you “not being there” sound to me like he wants you to move out and take care of yourself. I say do that, and as soon as possible.
Aw, jeez, Byz, calm down. A mistake’s a mistake, okay? Let’s all just pretend it didn’t happen.
What happened? What the HELL are you talking about?! Are you saying I OWE you something? Just WHAT are you getting at?! 
You know, I probably should be really upset with my dad. For the past, oh, 4 years or so he’s been on my case constantly. But he’s been on my case about the stupidest things.
For example: Just the other day he was bitching at me that his new computer wasn’t set up to his satisfaction, and that it was my fault. He criticized me for taking care of my computer and not setting his up for him. Well, NO SHIT I’m gonna take care of my computer. Sorry it takes more time than two weeks to personalize a new computer. Dumbfuck.
The strange thing is: I’m not raving mad or anything. It’s all sadly pathetic in it’s own twisted way. I pity that man more than anything. Second to that comes disgust.
UM…what’s wrong with Pink Floyd?
My sympathy about your Dad
In my family, Mother was a monster and Dad was the sympathetic one!
But let’s lighten up with some old Poetry - and a new Translation
I don’t usually litter my messages with reassuring smilies, as I asssume
readers can smile for themselves, hopefully even AT themselves when teased?
Just to be sure though: :=) :=) :=) :=) :=) :=) :=) :=) :=) :=) :=) :=)
I’d better add some Legal Disclaimers too as I am sending this to a country
that has been Byzarrely (yes I CAN spell) described thus:
> Shit! Get a fucking clue! This is LAWSUIT nation!
> Where in the fucking hell have you been for the last 20 years?
I realise that rhetorical question wasn’t directed at me personally, but I
am relieved to answer: not in the your “fucking hell” but in Australia where
ridiculous litigation is discouraged, as in most un-American countries thank
God (not literally of course - we aren’t plagued by frightening fatuous
fundamentalism either. Thank God). But I digressed…
Ah yes, although I’ve been in Oz for the last 30 years, I have more than
“a fucking clue” about the lawsuit nation because, as in most un-American
countries, we are swamped by global cultural pollution. I won’t say where
it all comes from or I’ll need a 6th Disclaimer.
First Legal Disclaimer: No serious criticism is intended to anyone unless
you are silly enough to take silly criticism seriously in which case you
seriously deserve all the criticism I can throw at you, Silly!
Second Disclaimer: I can safely send the following nursery rhyme in full
because there’s no copyright. It’s traditional. It may not really have been
about an eloquent Byzantian lady but that’s a lie I’m sticking to - claiming
poetic license.
Third Disclaimer: I don’t really have a Poetic License, but I’m hoping that
you can’t afford to come this far to sue me about that one - and that you
have discovered that legal recourse is only for the very rich.
Fourth Ammendment to the Third Disclaimer: If you come here to sue me, you
would be “laughed out of court” anyway (our local legal terminology for how
ridiculous legal claims get settled.)
Fifth Disclaimer: the phrase “Fourth Ammendment” above was not intended as a
slur on the dignity of any chronically undignified peoples nor a limitation to
your right to bare arms. Just please don’t shoot me. Shoot someone else today.
Any way it was only an ammendment to my disclaimer. I promise I wouldn’t dream
of ammending a Sacred Document which allows you to shoot each other and then
remain silent. I hold these truths self evident that slaughtering folk without
incriminating yourself is an inalienable right.
So, having got through the “fine print”, which must adorn every web page,
and having proved my credentials that I am not too un-American (I hope) here’s
that well known nursery rhyme from Byzantium extolling the virtues of their
incomparable literary muse Byzarrine.
. There was a little girl
. Who had a little curl
. Right in the middle of her forehead.
. When she was good
. She was very very good
. But when she was bad she was horrid.
and for the linguistically challenged, here’s a translation of the same rhyme
into your local dialect:
Shit!
How about that weird bitch with the fucking curl!
I suppose you assholes don’t even know which part of her fucking head it was on!
Don’t you pathetic fuckwad’s have a fucking clue?
Shit!!! You dickwads make me SO FUCKING MAD!!!
Well fuck me running, that bitch could be GOOD
So good you’d spew on the heart-rending sincerity
And if you don’t know what that means it means fucking shit-hot good, you imbeciles
Get a life will you!!!
Don’t you pathetic goat-fuckers even know what good is? Think saccharine.
Coming on all appologetic. Over the fucking top arse-licking nice!!!
But then the crazy bitch would switch right back
Talk about that dickwad Jekyll and that fucking asshole Hyde!!!
Well that dame could make them two Desperately Different Dildos look like twins!
When that byzzy bitch flips she FLIPS!!! Right back to bad bad bad
I mean bad!!! Like bad!!!
Fuck-me-running BAD in case you fuckshit morons don’t get it,
So bad she’d make the rest of you fucking evil dickwads look like saints. Shit!
yeah, I’m angry, but fuckitall, I have a very good REASON for being so pissed off!
Damn shit heads! You didn’t even know about the girl with the fucking curl!!!
Where in the fucking hell have you been for the last 20 years you assholes?
The curl was on HER FORHEAD, you crapsuckers, HER FORHEAD.
Where in hell did you think it was, you ass-fuckers???
Her twat maybe???
Shit! You anal retentive morons would make the Goddess puke green slime.
No wonder you vile losers spend half your miserable lives in a Pit!!!
My sphincter curdles just at the thought of you ghastly mob of sewer plugs!
Oooops! Oh dear… I do appologise most sincerely!
I was so angry I’ve uploaded the wrong message to the wrong thread!
Shoooosh! or Sheeeeesh! or something.
Look you lovely people I’m really really sorry about the girl with the curl OK?
Please please please forgive me. Flame me! Whip me! Anything!
Shit!
Best!
Byzarre
(not really from the Byz folks, just that silly old fart “unnameable”)
(here’s a few more reassuring smilies :=) :=) :=) :=) :=) :=) :=) :=)
Now what are those pesky kangaroos getting up to…
.
Hey, that was really funny!
Ha… nothing actually. Pink Floyd is one of the few things my dad and I have in common. He was having one of his good nights tonight.
I think he’s understood my perspective on the sex thing. By the way, my main qualm is with his room being across from mine. I stay up very, very late and I really don’t need to hear any noises and such.
Besides, he’s agreed to buy me a very nice computer. Maybe I’m too hard on him sometimes. He may not understand much of the things I care about, but he does care about me.
Even though, today, he said he thought it was okay for women to make less than men for the same work because “men are dominant.”
WHAT?!?!? I didn’t think ANYONE from the Baby Boomer generation and younger believed that pile of shit anymore. How did I result from someone so backward?
Sigh. Go figure. Never easy, is it?
My parents–The Great Generation, hard working, honest as the day is long, survived the Depression and WWII,–belived, firmly believed, that black people were so different they weren’t quite human.
On the big scale, maybe it builds. I marched for civil rights, but I probably couldn’t have done it w/o the groundwork they laid. We sure didn’t agree but…this is blather…beliefs and the strength to act on 'em don’t come from nothing, even if the beliefs are 180 opposed. CSN&Y put it well: “Can’t know the fears your elders grew by…”, children listening to parents…“and know they love you”. Still sad, wry and hopeful.
The key is your dad does care. He’s muddling, confused, confusing, complicated; he’ll always be your dad but the pisser is parents are people. With luck–and effort–sometimes it’s possible to blend the person with the parent and adapt from there.
Monster and Spoofe, sometimes the only choice is to walk away. Talk to your mom–to inform her, nothing more. Just plant the seed. She’s an adult too. Your dad is someone who’s life isn’t working–for him or anyone else–but you can’t change that. Try talking, try “let me tackle a project on my own”, etc. but if he won’t listen, he won’t.
You’re two fine people. Your parents provided the framework but that’s what parents do. You’re all adults now, or so close it’s a moot point. This may sound stupid, but it’s central: work around the house, pump money toward household bills, whatever. It’s credibility, independence, self-respect, excellent practice…whatever. Your father will probably view it as a challenge/insult; his choice. Make a plan, pool your money and set aside a “slap mortar, mud sheetrock” weekend. Do it yourselves. It can be a blast.
Sorry, but I’m a hopeless pragmatist. Plant your feet, read up, organize, recruit friends (and tools)–provide music and munchies–, move the body, have fun, get it done then enjoy the results. It’s your home too.
Sounds stop-gap, but it isn’t. Change what you can. Sometimes just doing something is a huge relief. You can’t change your dad but you can make a helluva difference in your environment. If a few other cogent points get made along the way, well…is that bad?
Best to both of you and wishing you well,
Veb