Fuck you, dad

The BBQ Pit
1

Goddammit, you piece of shit. Why the hell can’t you do one thing right? Just one. That’s all I ask. For starters, finish remodeling your own fucked up room before starting on the rest of the house. Your room is torn apart, halfway remodeled, halfway a piece of shit…and what do you do? You abandon that project and start trying to redo the ceilings…which you proceed to make worse. Same with the carpets. Again, same with the walls. And the bathrooms…and the kitchen…every one of your “plans” has not worked. Your feeble attempts at making our house appear more appealing have only succeeded in failing. Is this your final goal?

Ya know dad, our house was never great. But guess what? You fucked it up!

You still haven’t fixed external damage from the earthquake in '94. Hell, you haven’t fixed any of the damage. Yet, for some unfathomable reason, you want repaint my room and put in new carpet! Why?!? The paint is two years old. The carpet isn’t in bad shape. Why not finish putting stucco on the outside walls? Why not fix the cracked floorboards on the stairs and put carpet there?? Replace the 20-year-old carpet in our family room. Or hell, what about that big crack in the foundation of our house? That’s not a good thing, you know. For the love of the Invisible Pink Unicorn, why’d you take my fucking door off and mess with the doorframe? You’re not an architect! You’re a deadbeat lawyer, a washout shirt salesman, a failed calendar marketer, and remain a loser air-purifying machince salesman! What the hell are you thinking?

That’s not all. You have 6 people totally dependent on you and mom. Why do you insist on squandering our limited supply of money? Why don’t you get a real job? And why do you yell at mom for getting her own job? Fuck you! I’m sick of you yelling at her when she tries to fix what you fucked up in the first place. Same with when we try to help. Us ‘kids’ aren’t moronic whelps, you know. We have vital input and opinions that are just maybe a tad more realistic than yours.

You see, we know what is broken and needs to be fixed. We know what we don’t have that we need. We know what should be bought that would benefit the whole family. Yet whenever we try to make recommendations or suggestions, you treat us like shit. Why? We’re your own children, your own wife, and yet you don’t give us the time of day or give us the respect any human deserves. Why is that?

You cause more arguments with each passing day. Your methods of running a family are poorly thought out…if you’ve actually put thought into it at all. Why don’t you let mom have any input in family affairs? You treat her almost as bad as you treat the kids. Your management abilities are poor to nonexistant.

You’re incompetent. Stop buying your stupid fucking Magic cards, your gas station junk food, your toys and useless trinkets, and maybe pay our medical insurance, or our dentist bills, or our utility bills, or car insurance, or earthquake insurance, or fire insurance, or credit debts, or car registration…hell, spend it on ANYTHING other than what you waste it on now! It’ll be far more helpful to us no matter what you can think of.

We’re sick of all this bullshit, dad. We put up with your eccentric, illogical behavior day after day, and our it’s really causing us to be short fused. Tensions are always high, fights and arguments always start, all because of you. Stop threatening to kick me out of the house when I disagree with you. Stop threatening to hit me if you value your safety. Stop being such a shallow, petty man when your ideas are proven to be faulty or even completely wrong.

We’re sick of it all, asshole. You make me sick, you make my brothers and sister sick, even mom is starting to get tired of it all. We want a better life, but you won’t let us. You refuse to try and make things better for us in an organized matter, and then try to prevent us from making things better for ourselves. Stop trying to have everything your way. Stop trying to do things that satisfy you and you only. You’re supposed to do things for the family, you drooling halfwit. You’re not supposed to be selfish when you decide to marry and have children.

You’re more childish than any other adult I know. Grow up, you goddamn putz.

2

{{{Monster}}}

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{{Monster}}

4

You forgot “Self-proclaimed Computer Expert”. The CD-RW drive breaks after less than a week (and zero uses), and he still thinks he got a good deal.

Oh, and hey, did I mention I just saw him put a $320 bid on a Joseph Smith book on eBay? Golly, what smart economic planning!

5

YOWCH! If I could suggest the concept of a “family meeting”. Yes, he probably won’t go for it but try it anyway. Some rules for a family meeting:

  1. Everyone gets to talk (try a “talking stick”; whoever holds the stick talks until they pass it to another) Even the youngest child gets to offer suggestions or ideas.

  2. Someone (at designated intervals) takes notes about what is discussed, what solutions are derived and what is still left for future discussions.

  3. Money is discussed. How to spend that money, what everyone thinks is best to do with that money and what the goals of the family should be. (My personal FWIW is that everyone in the family should know about the family money goals be they for college, a new house or vacations.)

  4. Lifestyle is discussed. Everyone should talk about the “family” lifestyle. This means talking about dinner, movies, and other things the family should/could engage in weekly, monthly, yearly. Like one night a week where everyone meets for dinner, or a game, or jogging or whatever. There should be a “plan” once a week to meet as a family.

Honey, that’s a brief bit of info about family summit meetings. He may not go for it but everyone else can do it without him. He WILL become intrigued and join eventually. I hate to say this but all of you have to STOP. LISTEN. LEARN.

That sounds trite but the way your family is going you really need this kind of intervention. If you cannot get him to stop, listen and learn you have no option but to call in some kind of family service organization.

Your family seems to be at a turning point and it seems to me your father is just trying desperately to plug so many damns in the walls he can’t see the big picture. Get some help if you need to to pull him back to see the real, fundamental problems.

I’m in a bad family situation myself now (but I’m older and don’t need my father to provide) however; there are steps you, your mother and other siblings can take NOW so that you don’t end up like me. Hopefully, with some persistence, you can bring your father out of his “reactive” phase into a more “proactive” phase.

My best to you and yours, hon, it’s hard but preserver,
Byz

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Byz, thank you much for the advice. I’m probably going to try to implement it (though I don’t anticipate much success).

You see, our dad is one of those “rabidly and obsessively conservative Republicans” that people like Stoidela and Elucidator hate (and I don’t blame them).

And he’s also very, very Mormon… so we’re screwed no matter where we turn.

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SPOOFE Bo Diddly – I just have to ask… does it hurt to be such a fucking asshole? If anyone knows it should be you. I swear to the Goddess you are such a fucking asshole my own sphincter curdles in response to your name… you unmitigated fucker.

No matter what I try to do you spew up your feces infected mouth and try to fuck it all with bated fuck-hole breath. Why don’t you just go to NY and post yourself as a sewer plug? Wouldn’t that be best for all? I would swear on my heart that you are the most vile plug of shit but I fear my own shit-hole would leap up and throttle me in order to offer you a more auspicious declaration.

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Huston, we seem to have some sort of a problem here.

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Did I miss something?

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SPOOFE Bo Diddly and Monster104 are brothers?

feels totally clueless

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My personal opinion, Monster104, is that you should copy your OP word-for-word, print it out, and put it squarely right in your dad’s hand.

That letter you wrote above tells it like it is and if he doesn’t “get it” after reading that, he is probably hopeless.

I am kind of curious about one thing though, why does your mom put up with his crap, anyway?

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Yes, SPOOFE and Monster are brothers. As for Byz, I don’t have any idea what she is spazzing about. Unless she decided to vent her “fur” anger in Dave’s thread.

13

Monster and SPOOFE,

Not much I can do from this side of the country but listen, however, listen I will. Sounds like the time he went on vacation and left you guys without water.

Let it out, venting is good for the soul. We’re here (at least most of us) for you.

best wishes for better times ahead.

14

Monster and SPOOFE-I don’t know you guys, but I feel your pain. Being stuck with a bad parent is a horrendous experience. Byzantine’s suggestions would ordinarily make sense, but your situations sound way too far gone for that. My mother drove me nuts in some of the ways your father does (though she was nowhere near as bad). I found that the only solution was to move out. You guys are old enough to take care of yourselves, so don’t depend anymore on someone who is undependable.
Monster, I can completely understand your frustration at your fathers’ unwillingness to treat you like a man. It’s how my mother treated me. The only long-term solution is to live your life independent of him. he will never respect you as long as he is paying your bills. Trying to change him at his age is most like a waste of time. Get a decent job, get your own place (share a place with SPOOFE if he’s willing) and then you can tell dad to screw himself.

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Oh, and I forgot…Byzantine, what the hell is wrong with you??!

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I’m guessing that Byzantine thought Spoofe was being sarcastic when he said he didn’t expect much success. I personally thought that SPOOFE was saying that there wouldn’t be much success, not because it wasn’t a good plan, but because he thinks his father is hopeless. Just a guess . . .

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Or you could just try beating your dad with the stick.

18

Dignan, I think you’re right.

My dad is hopeless. I tried to talk to him about things today, and this is about what the conversation went like:

Me: "Dad, we need to talk about your plans for remodeling the house…:
Dad: “What is there to talk about? I’m going to fix everything.”
Me: “You’re trying to do too much at…”
Dad: “You don’t know what you’re talking about! You don’t know what I’m doing. My plan is so great and you don’t have an idea of what good houses are like…(Blah blah blah yadda yadda)”
Me: “Dad, I’m just saying maybe we should fix…”
Dad: “There’s nothing broken!”
Me: “We should fix the…”
Dad: “Fix what?”
Me: “The cracks from the earthquake…”
Dad: “Those are just minor details. What we need to do is replace the carpet and paint the walls.”
Me: “That’s well and good, but don’t you think we should do one thing at a time?”
Dad: “We are…we’re fixing the house, then we’ll fix the lawns…”
Me: “No, I mean you should fix damged walls, then finish remodeling your room, then remodel another room…”
Dad: “That will take to long. This way everything is done quicker.”
Me: “Well, maybe we should hire a professional to do this…”
Dad: “What, you don’t think I can do this? You think I’m incompetent with tools? You’re just a child, you don’t know anything…blah blah insults insults…If you don’t like how I’m doing things, you can just get out of my house.”

Well, I wasn’t going to take any of that, so I told him to shut the fuck up and to seek therapy, because he’s one fucked up dude.

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Lex…you crack me up. That’s my idea of a solution.

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By SPOOFE:

Well SPOOFE, if you really wanted to piss him off I guess you could take more liberal views and start voting Democratic :D!