Fuck you, in-laws, and take your religious bullshit with you......

…so yesterday afternoon I was in a mood. It was cold outside, I was just in a generally pissed off mood and it didn’t help when my husband got home and got on the phone and started arguing with his ex-wife.

I went in the bathroom and was sitting there opening the mail when I see this handwritten envelope that’s sticking out. I open it to find a card from his grandparents that says “Hallelujah!” on the front of it and some over-the-top religious bullshit on the inside. Then it says a donation has been made in OUR NAME to Trinity Missionary. Happy Easter, it said. This is the second such card we’ve gotten in two months, the other one was a huge bday card to me from his parents that had about 50 religious psalms on it. They are fucking crazy.

I was livid. First off, I’ll tell you that his family is UBER-Catholic and like to rub it in anyone’s face that they can. My husband has tried to made it clear that we don’t believe in their lunatic Catholic bullshit. And that while we do respect their beliefs (well, I don’t, but they don’t have to know that) we do not want to hear about it.

So, I sat there and thought…what could I do to send the message that we don’t want our name put on any lists, and we don’t want religious bullshit sent to us EVER AGAIN?

I went and googled “Pro-choice charity” and this came up: http://www.charitynavigator.org/inde...orgid/4151.htm

Perfect. I entered in a donation of $20 and it asked me how I’d like that money spent. Well, that was an easy one. I wrote “To help women enter abortion clinics without being accosted by the religious right.” Click. And then it let me check a box and write in the names of the people I’d like to have this donation credited to. Click and write. And then it let me send an e-card to THANK them for their generous donation and to let them know that someone made a donation on their behalf.

I added to it: “Happy Springtime! Your card inspired me to give back in the same way that you gave to us. Isn’t it wonderful when we can help others? love, Indgrrl and Indyguy” Click.

Tralalalalalalalala… … :smiley:

Don’t get mad, get even! I’m certain this could lead to interesting dinner table conversation. They are coming for Easter dinner, right? :smiley:

Nah, they are distant grandparents who he never sees. I don’t have the stones to do that to his parents, although if they put me on a Catholic list I just might have to. :wink:

My girlfriend’s parents gave me a great Christmas present this last year. A bag with a jar of spicy jelly and a book called something like “God can solve your problems.”

Yay. Like I am going to read that drivel. I grew up in a fundamentalist home and know all their arguments and all their reasoning. A book isn’t going to convince me any more.

I can understand your frustration, but I would not mess with my in-laws without first checking in with my spouse.

He was right next to me when I was doing it. :wink: He’s fought this his entire life.

Well, I think your lividness was an over-reaction to something they probably did with good intentions (unlike your donation, which seems to be done in spite). But if they get upset about that I’d say they were over-reacting as well.

So, you think after telling someone many many times that you do not share their beliefs and do not want them forced upon you it is ok for them to continue to send you cards like this and to share your name with Catholic groups? I beg to differ. The card is one thing, the “donation in your name” is quite another.

Theirs was done passive aggressively, mine was done aggressively.

Well, you know what they say about the road to hell…

I picture Jesus, looking down at these grandparents from the crucifix that they certainly have in their home, sadly shaking his head and saying, “People, you’re not helping.”
Epimetheus, weren’t you curious to know how God can use spicy jelly to solve your problems? I know I am.

I’m with you. People wonder why atheists get their back up about these things. This is about as insulting as it gets. I love that you’ve got the 'nads to respond in kind. Maybe it’ll shock 'em into realizing how out of line they are.

Hey, I’m not saying what they did (the donation in your name) was a good idea. I’m just saying that your anger seems disproportionate to me. Maybe because I can’t help thinking about my own grandparents, who are very old and frail, and I have a hard time being mad at them for being a little inflexible.

They aren’t frail at all, so don’t worry. They’re very hardy and very zealoty, and not terribly old. They also aren’t sweet and nice like you’d think grandparents would be. They “disowned” my husband when he didn’t get married in the Catholic church on his first marriage, and they also disowned his gay brother.

Silly girl! You should have split the donation between abortion rights and gay rights!

Well, there’s always christmas.

Wow. So you’re upset because your in-laws beliefs don’t jibe with your own, and feel that they were rude to make a donation to charity you don’t like in your name. And your response is to…forcibly shove your beliefs that don’t jibe with theirs into their face by making a donation in their name to a charity that they wouldn’t like. What a lovely, mature response. Hypocrite, heal thyself, or as your in-laws might say, before removing the mote from your neighbors eye, attend to the beam in you own.

Eh. I’m not really bothered about whether it was out of spite or even the in-laws motivation. Two charity groups got money. I for one hope that the in-laws and Indygrrl keep up this exhange.

\hijack

What do you use spicy jelly for? Or does jelly not equal jam here? Spicy jelly on toast does not sound yummy to me.

\hijack

Was the amount of your donation the same as the one they gave in your name?
An E-Card? To grandparents? I fear your grand gesture may go unnoticed.

She discussed the offensiveness of their behavior many times with them. Sometimes a symbolic slap in the face is the only thing people understand.

I’m curious to hear what their response is.

It’s icky as far as I’m concerned. But very popular in the U.S.

Ritz cracker
Cream cheese
Dab of spicy jelly on top
Mmmmmmmm…delicious!!