Not quite as bad as this, but it also bothers me when people that I do know call and don’t identify themselves. I answer with “hello” and they just say “hey.”
Now, I understand we’re friends and I should sort of know your voice, but don’t put me in the position of guessing who are you and possibly being wrong. Just say “hey, it’s Joe” or whatever. I’m sure it bothers you when you call me and I have to say “who are you?” so just save me the trouble, ok?
This pretty minor, but here’s another phone thing that pisses me off- people who call you at your house and then ask you where you are. I’m at home, dumbass. You called my home number and I answered. Where do you think I am? This question would be completely legitimate if I were on a cell phone or pay phone, or whatnot, but at my house? What are these people thinking?
Sticky little kids. Those kids whose faces, hands, and everything they touch is left with a thick film of some adhesive substance. What the hell is that?! Do certain little kids exude glue from their very pores? I know little kids can be messy, but really parents, if your kid’s hands and face are encrusted with sticky, gunky food residue, wipe it off! It’s not cute that your kid can’t eat without smearing half the food all over their face- it’s just disgusting.
People who pee with the door open. Really. I have met people before (who were perfectly sober) who would pee with the bathroom door open in front of strangers. What the…how can anyone do this? Maybe if you have an extra-close relationship with a spouse or SO, or you have little kids or something, okay. I can see how maybe it’s not a big deal. But in front of people you’ve just met? As yosemitebabe said, these people were obviously Raised By Wolves. ™
This one especially pisses me off: people who insist on making a running commentary in movie theatres. These are the people who are constantly talking at the top of their voices and making sure everyone else in the theatre knows exactly what’s going on on-screen. “See, now that guy is about to…” or “Oooh! What’s he doing now? Oh, I see! He’s gonna…” Shut the fuck up. I can see the screen, thanks. I’m thrilled you’ve appointed yourself the theatre’s interpreter. But, really, I don’t need it. So shut your mouth before you I shove this box of Junior Mints straight up your ass.
People who have to let everyone in on their physical problems. Yikes. I understand it was painful, and expensive, and it was worrying you, but I don’t want to see the footage of your colonoscopy. Really, I don’t. I don’t want to know how many bowel movements you’ve had since this morning. I don’t want to hear about color, consistency, or what may have been the remains of last night’s dinner. Stop now before we both regret the outcome. Furthermore, I don’t care about your therapist, or what they said last week that caused that big breakthrough you’ve both been waiting for for 15 years. I’m sorry for your troubles, but I don’t need to know the specifics. It’s just none of my business.
I’m also thoroughly fucking disgusted with parents who think everyone in the world is as thrilled by their kids as they are. Look, I know it’s your kid. It’s one of the most exciting, important, and challenging things you’ll ever do. I’m happy for you, really. I could just give a fuck less that little Timmy is making so much progress at T-ball. Or that Suzy is getting over her thumb-sucking phase. Or what senseless new tripe Dr. Phil has been spewing about how to raise children. I’m sorry, I really am, but I just can’t bring mysef to give a rat’s ass about your kids and their academic acheivements.
This was one of the more challenging aspects of my wife’s South American culture to accept. It seems that in Rio, it is quite proper to call someone up and say “Who is this?” Until I realized that this is their own thing (and perfectly acceptable in some parts of their society), I probably annoyed a few of her relatives by not playing along.
Of course, this cultural quirk is made completely palatable by my favorite Brazilian custom: All female friends and relatives give me a kiss on each cheek when I meet them. Imagine visiting a friend and having his wife and two teen-aged daughters run up and give you the customary kisses. As long as this custom persists, they can continue asking who I am on the phone 
.
People should only wear a walkman if they are exercising? What kind of crack are you smoking?
Slow drivers.
Hate them.
Out of the damn way already-- the road is for the living!
*Idiots who bring infants to movies.
*People at movies who are up and down every few minutes to pee, get a soda, whatever. SIT THE FUCK DOWN or sit on the aisle.
*The parent behind me who had never read a HP book or saw the 1st movie asking his kid every few minutes why the characters were doing what they were doing. JUST WATCH THE DAMN THING.
*The people next door to me. No particuar reason. OK, there is that whole monkey screaming sex thing that goes on and on and on. They also put the trash in the hallway. Lazy idiots.
Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrggggghhhhh!!!
Especially those who have joinded 12-step programs. I hate nothing more than steppers who spew their bullshit on the general population, try to apply the brainwashing doctrines of these programs to every person and every area of life (instead of keeping it focused on their addiction problem, like they’re supposed to), and THEN have the audacity to present it as some original thought, some ‘deep’ thinking and fucking worldview that they just came up with all by themselves, never at least giving credit to the fucking cult and cult materials that they stole it from. Drop dead, steppers.
The goddamn spam level in my inbox is staggering, too.
Other things that piss me off lately:
Restaurants that can’t get their fountain soda machines figured out. I HATE it when my diet Pepsi tastes like it has regular Pepsi in it. Or it’s flat. Or too syrupy. I can’t tell you the number of drinks I’ve had to throw out because they just tasted “off.”
Two of the three cab drivers I used in Detroit last weekend. One of them should be shot. The other just needs meds.
People who don’t appreciate the work we put into planning the office holiday party. We bust our asses trying to find a restaurant that can accommodate our group on our night and our tight budget, and all you can say is “oh, there’s nothing I like to eat there!” Fuck you! So have a sandwich before going to the party, and keep it to yourself. You know we can’t make everyone happy; this year was just not your year. How about serving on the fucking committee YOURSELF for once?
Ahhhh. A nice rant:
1.) Slow fucking drivers in Ohio. Why Ohio? Because I live here right now and these are the WORST drivers ever.
2.) People who don’t fucking us TURN signals!!! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! Need I say more? Hmmmm. Perhaps there IS a reason automakers still make a steering wheel assemblies WITH turnsignals!!! DUH!!!
3.) Idiot parents who give their children every damn thing they want and wonder why their children are the biggest brats ever.
4.)People who talk on cell phones LOUDLY in public. You know who you are. I don’t care what the fuck you are talking about.
5.) Addenum to #3: Idiot parents who give their stuck up, bratty 16 year olds brand new cars. Let alone nice, gently used cars!!!IDIOTS!!! WHY!!! I can’t stand this. I see it way too often and I want to scream.
Thanks. I feel much better now.
Great thread!
I hate people that critizise things about you just…because thats what they do. Who the fuck gives them the right?
I’ll add more later…
If you are a store clerk or a waiter or a public servant (or some such) and you ask me a question…please look at me and pay attention when I answer. Do not look over you shoulder and shout something to your co-worker. Do not do dance moves to the music coming through your headphones. Do not answer your cell phone…until you have heard my answer! You asked me a question. If you don’t care what the answer is then don’t ask in the first place.
Thank you. I feel better.
Well they got some medicine yesterday. BUUAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
[de-lurk]
I hate it when people somehow manage to create posts that fuck up the thread/page formatting, requiring me to scroll LEFT AND RIGHT just to read what they said. And why the heck can’t the Mods just go in and fix that?
– Referring to the OP and jjtm’s posts above… no offense folks. Aaaaand I just spotted this in another thread too - dammit, quit it!
I also hate it when people fuck up their coding for bold/italic/etc. - USE GODDAMN ‘PREVIEW’, PEOPLE! It’s extra time, and extra work for the hamster(s), but those who will be reading your posts would greatly appreciate it - and would be more likely to take what you say seriously.
(…And, NO, I’m NOT going to email a mod. to ask for their help to fix it all - because (a) this is likely a trivial waste of their time, (b) they probably won’t bother, for the latter reason, and © JUST to get to the screen which shows me a mod’s address would require a Herculean Hamster Effort™ - and I’ve got more threads to read yet & my time is running short).
ehh, well, I think my sig-line sums it up best.
[lurk]
Oh. My. God.
That’s my soon-to-be ex g/f’s daughter to a tee. except the little traler-trash-in-training is 10, not eight.
The willfully ignorant
Global warming deniers
Ford Explorers (or any Ford product that begins with an “E” except the Escort)
Professional wrestling
Religious fundamentalists (all faiths–I’m equal opportunity!)
Cold calls
The insurance industry (particularly health insurance)
People who are rude to waiters for no reason
Racists
Other people (they’re hell!)
People who use words like “wigger”.
Really, why not just say “white nigger” and be done with it?
:mad:
:rolleyes:
This has been touched on by other people, but I must get this off of my chest.
Children.
No, not all children, not children in general, not even a certain age group, but CERTAIN children. My boyfriend’s best friends sticky, crying, scary childrentm to be exact. It all started last Saturday at the lunch we were having with his friends, when I innocently mentioned that I was thinking of going shopping that day. His friends wife volunteered to come with, which was exciting for me as I wanted to get to know her better, plus I really needed to go shopping. As I hate clothes shopping so much, I was pretty much down to my last pair of black work pants that were frayed at the bottom because people like to make pants way too long and my Geisha shirt. Sure, the boyfriend tells me it’s an adorable shirt on me, which is nice, but you can’t be a Geisha everyday…well, maybe if you lived in Japan…in the past…or if you didn’t work for a company with gossips who would just LOVE to gossip about your lack of fashion, as I know they already gossip about my ‘reserve’. Well, YOU try to be the life of the party when you’re cornered in a bathroom stall by work people wanting to know what the President eats for lunch, while all you can think of is that bathrooms are there for a reason and it isn’t gossip!
Okay, work rants aside, back to the children who came with the friends wife, who by the way, have cured me of any design as to ever wanting to reproduce or adopt. It’s rabbits and cats all the way to fulfill my nurturing needs from here on out, the title of ‘Scary Old Bunny Lady’ be damned!
Things that pissed me off with those particular children:
-At lunch (I should have realized shopping with children was not a good thing as this happened before we even left for the mall) I was given yet another ‘hug surprise’ by the boy. Yes, he had both barbecue and cheese soup all over his face and hands, and yes I had just seen him ‘dig for gold’ a minute before, and yes I felt the sticky goo then encrust itself on my shirt (both front and back) and in my hair. I would have pulled back, but I was worried that it would hurt his feelings, maybe scar him for life if I screamed ‘Back! Back foul thing!’ You never know what something like that will do to a four-year-old when all he’s trying to do is give you a hug. I wouldn’t usually mind, but I was in the afore mentioned Geisha shirt, my ONLY nice work shirt that isn’t missing buttons, and it’s a given that the clothing store clerks are going to be condescending without needing me to be covered in splotchy gook as a sign of my ill-breeding.
Both the girl and the boy felt the need to crawl under the changing room door to see how my ‘clothes trying on’ was going. Then, in loud voices, they announced that I was in my underwear and shared the color with all the people waiting outside. That was a fun time. As if trying to pose nicely for the changing room camera (because…well, you don’t want to look FAT in case some store clerk is actually monitoring your dressing room) isn’t enough to worry about.
We had a half hour crying fest while they’re mother was trying on under garments because they both wanted the front seat in the ‘store child stoller thing’. Only because the other one wanted that seat. My logic and reasoning AND the fact that I tried to divert them with the game of ‘the exciting quest for the nylon section of the store’ were all to no avail. I think the problem here is that the passerby’s were looking at me as if I was a child beater due to the big, fake sobs both were emitting. Luckily their mother eventually returned and yelled them into submission.
And to top it off, I destroyed store property…me, the person who worries if her waiters are annoyed with her because she asked for no onions on her burger. Yep, the boy was crawling around the display cage, knocking stuff down, tearing down the display clothing and basically making me look around nervously for mall security. The mother was busy looking at plaid jumpers, so I did my usual ‘stern voice, reasonable request, logic’ method to try to persuade him to stop destroying store property as I couldn’t actually REACH him without crawling ON The display with him (not going to happen). The logic sort of worked and he came my way by way of an attempted Tarzan like swing on the huge store ‘SALE’ sign hanging from the ceiling. I caught him and tried to grab the sign, but too late, onto the floor it went, with the ‘evidence’ hanging limply from my hand and the store clerk finally appearing. I tried to apologize and explain but her frosty glare labeled me both guilty of the travesty AND a poor dresser due to the gooey stains on my shirt.
shiver
I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to show my face at the Mall of America again… 
(Please know that though all of the above was true, I am sharing this in a light hearted manner becauase if you don’t laugh at stuff like this you’ll probably cry.) 
Wow, an angry face and an eyeroll. I didn’t mean any offense by the “wigger” remark. What’s a better word for a middle-class college-kid who wears big pants and says “Yo, Dawg,” and listens to shitty hip-hop music really, really LOUD?
Wow. That was a great rant, Chastain86.
Mine seem pitiful in compare.
When you turn on the heater for the first time since last winter, and it smells like the house is on fire. It always succeeds in scaring the shit out of me.
People who, instead of apologising, act as if nothing happened when you point out ever-so-politely just how fucking wrong they were. Sweep it under the rug, eh? I don’t think so.
People that tell you “grow up, life sucks” when you’re upset about something. I know life can suck, buddy. If I’ve told you I’m upset about something, it’s because I thought you cared about my feelings. (Especially if I’ve let that person cry on my shoulder before.)
See? What a paltry list!