I don’t disagree.
Augh, I’ve been trying it more lately. Turns out I can’t even listen when looking people in-or-near-the-eye.
I just gotta have my head in the clouds, man. It’s how I roll.
Anyway I’ll keep working on it.
Not everyone is a conman, most people aren’t – meaning for an honest person it is much harder to lie when looking straight at you… one thing is: they will try to avoid eye contact.
A scam artist or a good sales person can lie to you straight in the face with a smile and appear genuine – while mimicking normal behavior.
However, it’s not just lying – it’s also disrespectful not to “engage” in a conversation by looking away. I don’t care, if my friend does not look up from the XBOX – I already know who he is or what kind of douche he is.
Reported.
Actually, it is your problem, since you’re going to be banned inside of about … oh, whenever a moderator wanders back in.
You have GOT to be kidding me.
Kill it with fire! Aaaaghhhhh!
HollyJamesSweetJesusBlessin’sAlwaysEtc
You’re banned because the rule here is “Don’t be a jerk,” and you are a huge-ass jerk. This is a reality you are going to have to deal with one way or another.
God hates jerks too, btw. Have a fun afterlife. And blessings always I love you so much!
Wow did I miss an epic thread
It hasn’t been that long, and you’re trying to override years and years of training. You will improve!
I would suspect that of all the people with whom I have had job interviews over the court of a lifetime, approximately zero were ever taught anything about interviewing or have any idea that there is anything to update regarding interview “skills.” For the vast majority of people, interviewing job applicants is just something they have to do occasionally, and no one teaches them anything about it. If you walk into an interview expecting that you’re going to be interviewed by someone trained in any kind of interviewing skills, whether from 1980 or 2013, you’ve got some surprises coming.
Bolding mine.
Ewww ticks?! Like crawling on your face? Did you have Lyme Disease too?
nm…
I’m going to chime in here with something that doesn’t seem to be addressed at all. With the increase in autism spectrum diagnosis, the idea that forcing eye contact is a good thing is a bit scary. One of the signature difficulties for people with autism spectrum conditions is a difficulty or inability in making and maintaining eye contact. Sometimes that eye contact is described as physically painful. If someone is having as much difficulty with eye contact and similar social behaviors as described, then they may wish to be examined for this condition. This is not to get an excuse, but because there are specific therapies that can be used that are effective in helping the condition in autists that aren’t used in mainstream therapy. Being able to truthfully and matter-of-factly inform an interviewer that one has difficulty making eye contact due to autism spectrum disorder puts eye contact on the same footing as being unable to shake hands firmly due to arthritis issues. Perhaps if one is having difficulties with the standard mechanisms for improving eye contact ability when the inability is due to shyness or anxiety issues, one may wish to speak to one’s therapist about other potential issues.
Ed won’t let me!
But what everybody really wants to know is. . .
Whatever happened with that kid with the ruptured appendix???
Yes, and the reason for that is just what JOSH said: directness of gaze and simplicity of expression is (often subconsciously) perceived to correlate with directness of motive and simplicity of speech. Looking away, avoiding eye contact, is reminiscent of evasion, of opacity.
I engaged an interviewer about this question. He was just reading from a sheet of paper and I reached across the table and picked it up to see if he was fucking with me. Sure enough, it was written on there, along with tips on how to gauge my response. :smack:
I asked him what the point of the question was.
I work in tech services for a large transportation company, diagnosing issues and organizing repairs all over the country. I asked him what relevance my weaknesses, real or perceived, would have to do with my job performance. He just looked at me like I had showed him how to use a zipper for the first time and we moved on with the interview.
He’s fine. 
There’s a whole book on eye contact, which IMHO actually isn’t bad, although I’m not sure the subject merits a whole book.
According to the author, one of the reasons eye contact is important is that it is one way people indicate that they are paying attention to us.
[QUOTE=Michael Ellsberg]
No wonder we respond well when people make eye contact with us. It suggests that they are listening, that they are present to us, that they are taking us in. It suggests that they care about us.
[/QUOTE]
There’s one chapter on eye contact and lying. The author notes “the well-known phenomenon that psychopaths often make solid, extremely piercing eye contact.” Here’s how he summarizes lie detection as it relates to eye contact:
[QUOTE=Michael Ellsberg]
From all I have gathered on the topic, the following rules of thumb seem reliable: Eyes and body language tell us nothing of someone’s thoughts. They can speak volumes about a person’s emotional state—if that person is not consciously attempting to hide their emotional state.
When people are indeed trying to hide and/or lie about their emotional state from us, however, the evidence suggests that we humans are not nearly as good as we think we are at detecting deception—at least, not without practice. However, lying does leave telltale clues, and our capacity to detect these can be honed, augmented, and practiced to the point where we become quite effective at telling when people are lying.
[/QUOTE]