“I find no need to make myself feel better by putting others down.” In your case an exception may be made…
MysterEcks said, “So not only are you an asshole, tramtwo, you are also a liar. Yeah, you’re realworthwhile.”
Well I stand by what I have said. What words would you have me use to describe this fat pig liar? Just because I don’t seek to put people down does not mean that I will not call a spade a spade. And BTW nothing in this thread has made me feel better.
Scotticher, I agree that there should be more tact in the world but I also think that when someone pushes you you should try and enlighten this person, even if it means pushing back. Would you have stayed on this bad date, for the sake of someone’s feelings, that did not care about yours? If so than you are a bigger person than I. The word martyr comes to mind…
Fnord, you are my soulmate. If we had a blind date our cell phones would probably go off simultaneously.
When I became single again and my friends were all trying to set me up, I would have my close friend Aryn call me a half hour to forty five minutes into it to see if I needed to be rescued. She saved me a couple of times.
As far as looks, I’m the same as a few of you. I could care less as long as they have a personality and can hold a decent conversation. If you have that, the rest will come naturally.
In this particular situation, NO. I would not have stayed on this blind date. This woman lied to Fnord on at least two different levels, and that would have caused me to leave IF I COULD WITHOUT BEING UNKIND. Or if I felt I was in a dangerous situation. However, I do not think that it is necessary to “enlighten” a person who pulls this sort of stunt. Do you think that they are stupid and don’t know what they did? Sorry, tramtwo. They know what they are doing, and they don’t need to be “enlightened.” The thing is, there is no need to be unkind to a person who pulls this sort of thing. They are most certainly dealing with more stuff than they should have to already. Which is why they do this stuff to begin with.
Now let us address the “martyr” comment. YOU don’t know me from Adam, and I do NOT need to gleefully accept that kind of remark from you. You are SO wrong about me, and I do not wish to debate this with you. Suffice it to say that you are wrong, and I will NOT take this kind of comment as benignly in the future as I am taking it now.
I one went out with a fat chick and I ended up with a SEVERED TESTICLE! j/k. I think the term “fat” is the worst slur still used in common language. To me it is no different that calling someone a ngger or a spic. But thats just me. Peace.
Scotticher said, “Suffice it to say that you are wrong, and I will NOT take this kind of comment as benignly in the future as I am taking it now.” Noted! Hey man I was not dumpin on ya. I was serious but I can understand why some people would not like this comment.
As far as you MysterEcks, I am sure that you are wrong about a lot of things, add me to your list. I will not play with you today, don’t cry you can continue to cyberdis me as much as you like, what ever keeps you happy. I will say that I am flattered that you used little ole me to try and make some sort of point. As I have just showed up on this sceen I will wait and see what you are like… Man I wish I could figure people out as quick as you. Are you a cop?
I am a woman, tramtwo. And I am a forgiving and forgetting kind of woman, too. So let’s just forget this whole thing.
But please, think twice before you treat someone unkindly because that is what you think they deserve. It is true that they MAY deserve it, but maybe you will help them more if you are kind than if you explain what a jerk they are. Just a thought, okay?
Just a guy talking here, but if I were a girl…I would check the escort guides such as Eros. They would likely enjoy a change from guys. Their picture is almost certainly what they really look like. They are professional. They will talk to you for awhile and get to know you. They know about sex, and they could show you a thing or two. Certainly a better option than personals.
That or just go to an upscale lesbian bar and mingle and have fun.
Although tramtwo was a little gruff, I gotta side with him here.
Would honesty not be the best policy? How about “You share no qualities with the person I spoke to online. I think you have attempted to decieve me. I’m upset about it, and I will go now”. Not hurtful, honest. (I’m not saying that’s what I’d do. I’d be polite and tactful, because I’m a wimp)
And BTW, I’m sure she saw right through the transparent ‘sick grandpa’ story.
I met a guy in real life I had only known a few months online. We met in a public place (a flea market since we were both into that sort of thing). We turned out to become very close friends and lovers for a couple years. The distance thing was difficult to deal with, however, and times change, so we’re not together anymore, but it was good while it lasted. We’re still on good terms, even though Mom still pesters me to get back with him, because she loves him and his family.
fnord, I hope you find better luck on your next (if you have one) blind date. Don’t let that one time spoil it forever, because there are some great women out there that have yet to be met.
Fnord, I’ve heard soooooooo many experiences concerning people over the net meeting for a date that turned out just like yours. Well you played the politics right and got yourself outta there. Just forget about it, and make sure to block her e-mail and phone # if she has them. And I hope the next time you try meeting someone over the information superhighway, it works out better. The worst stories/most humorous ones I’ve heard were when people met in a private place for the first time. Next time, arrange to meet in a public place like a shopping mall.
I’m a newbie, and this seems as good a thread as any on which to make my first contribution.
It’s all about reading people. I’ve met many people IRL after knowing them [to various degrees] on-line. To a person, they have been very much like their on-line personalities - including the control-freak psychotic with the beady eyes. I’ve had a couple of on-line relationships, too, one of which is still going on cross-country and is a very important part of my life. Whether or not that’s a viable option is, i think, another thread altogether; suffice it to say that, right now and for us, it works.
This medium compresses time, so that what might take two months IRL may take a week or less on-line. You cannot expect to get to know someone well in that short time - your emotions run away from you, but your actual knowledge of a person can’t really grow that quickly. In other words, on-line love begins as an illusion - it happens too quickly. Reality cannot possibly keep up with our emotions.
My advice? Take your time. Relationships worth keeping are worth cultivating. TALK about REAL SUBJECTS, don’t just bill and coo with your keyboard. Get to know the <i>person</i>; be honest always, even when it hurts; make sure your feelings are grounded; and above all, keep your expectations realistic.
I’ve had two internet blind date experiences in my life. One was good (relatively speaking) and the other was bad (nothing “relative” about it). The bad one was also my first blind date ever. She looked okay, but was dumb as a box of rocks. Said she was 20, but acted 15. You know a date is bad when you only spent $28 (we only went to see a movie and ice cream) but wish you had the money back. I never called her again and she never called me again either, so I guess the feeling was mutual.
The second wasn’t so bad. She wasn’t gorgeous, but she was nice and intelligent. We dated for about a month and a half, but quit when we both realized that there was no “spark.” Everytime we got together it was just to make out, and neither of us wanted a relationship like that. She was a nice person though. We kept in touch for a while, but eventually she broke off all contact. I wish her all the best.
I think I might try the Internet dating thing again, but only as an adjunct to more strenuous efforts in real life. I think the odds of success on the Internet are about the same as the odds in reality. Out of 10 dates: 4 you will never go out with again, 3 you will go out with twice before you discover they’re crazy, 2 you will date for several months, and 1 MIGHT develop into a relationship if you let it.
The good thing about personals of all types is that they cut out the bullshit and game-playing. The bad thing is that a lot of people (NOT everyone) use them because for whetever reason (drugs, mental problems, they’re a COMPLETE loser) they can’t get dates or sex any other way. Hmm.
I did the match.com thing for a while, and probably will again. I’m with Lizard on the realities of meeting someone you’d want to spend the rest of your life with. I’m prepared to go out with a lot of people just for the experience. I classify my dates as ‘never again’; or nice, and if they like me enough to call again I’ll go, but I’m not interested enough to actively pursue them; or someone I do contact after the date. I think that while the medium to bad ones were a pain, they are worth the experience, and in the long run they make me a better date, and better able to sift through the emails in my inbox.
That said, I am ridiculously jealous of a good friend of mine who also ran a profile on match.com, she is now engaged to the very first guy who wrote to her.
Thanks for taking the time.