“There are none so devout as the newly converted.”
Now that I’m well into middle age, I’ve noticed something. Middle-aged people who spent a lot of time when they were young getting wrecked and having wild sex tend to wish they’d spent more time sober and working. Middle-aged people who spent a lot of time when they were young being sober and working tend to wish they had spent more time getting wrecked and having wild sex.
I had that same experience myself, but when I got into the apartment the bisexual pothead girls turned out to be reformed bisexual pothead girls now Born-Again Christians.
Cry me a river, OP
I spent a lot of my younger years getting wrecked and not having enough sex. Not that I’m older, I wish I’d spent more time concentrating on the having sex part.
Rigamarole,
Call them girls up and tell them Uncle Duke is coming over with a bottle of Hennessy and some hydroponic. That’ll turn them into librarians if anything will, you can thank me later.
Hah, I was thinking the same thing. Not that I’m middle aged, but I tend to wish I had at least tried pot once or twice and maybe drank a bit more. I was such a goody-two-shoes. Now I have let my wild side out and unfortunately real life interferes.
When I was 25 and single, I had a drunk 19 year old at my place. Not passed out, mind you, just a bit blotto. I thought that she was too young and plus she was drunk so I passed on the opportunity.
When I was 42 and recently divorced, I had a slightly drunk 22 year old at my house. Never let it be said that I don’t learn from my mistakes.
Jesus Christ, you must be the most boring 21 year old guy I have ever heard of. Hell, at any restaurant I ever worked out we wouldn’t even have had to leave the restaurant to drink, smoke a little weed and get laid; much less be off the clock. In about 10 years you are going to look back at that night and kick your own ass. Hopefully you’ll get laid between now and then and loosen up.
This was a wonderful setup and delivery! 
You and she were just not a good match. Don’t be writing her off as a person though…plenty of people spend their whole lives social drinking and smoking weed that are still responsible members of society.
Nothing worse than a reformed anything: smoker, drinker, drug addict. One you’ve seen “the light” you think everyone else needs to see the same thing. Fortunately, you can outgrow this. 
No I don’t.
The frat boy part of me looks at Rigamarole’s situation and goes, “Dude! Alcohol. A couple of cute bi chicks. Alone. With you. WHAT’S WRONG WITH YOU, MAN? This is every straight guy’s sloppy fantasy!”
The adult part of me – the larger part by far – has to side with him, though. I partired in my youth. Got damn near blotto countless times. Made a few floor pizzas. Toked up on several occasions. But I outgrew that as I entered my 20s, and now, though I enjoy a good beerverage from time to time, I won’t go anywhere near drugs that aren’t legal and commonly found in coffee or cigarettes. I simply don’t like losing control of my own faculties. Moreover I don’t like being around drunk and/or stoned people for one simple reason: If I’m going to spend time with someone, in whatever capacity that might be, I want to spend time with them, not some fuming, hazy, socially embarrassing caricature of them. After all, I became friends (or at least acquainted) with them because I found them interesting as a person. That person ceases to exist in any meaningful capacity when intoxicants are involved, and I’d rather not be around that, nor do I want to have to do whatever they’re doing to get in the same frame of mind in order to continue trying to enjoy their company.
I wouldn’t write anyone off as a potential friend just because they smoke up or drink to excess on a frequent basis, but I have to admit that I would lose respect for them, and that would make me want to hang out with them a bit less often, especially if they had a habit of getting lit around me.
/One for the stick-in-the-mud club, please.
I was like that until at least 27. Then I largely stopped the weed and other stuff (though I do still like drinking lots of beer) and waited for my girlfriend to catch me up; maybe get a proper job and then realise the two lifestyles weren’t compatible. I waited and waited but she carried on the same way, found me a drag, and we split, something that broke my heart. I look at her now, more than a decade later, and she’s still like that.
20 is pretty young to be worried about someone wasting their life, though. You can never tell if someone’s going to change or not, not at that age. Most people do. The girlfriend being more than just a friend is what I’d be pissed about.
If you don’t want her, Rig, e-mail me her phone number!
the part that bugged me was the “you have to go with us while we score” gig. IME, being with someone in that situation can get you arrested etc as well. My advice has always been “if you don’t want to get into legal trouble, don’t be around folks who are doing illegal things” (as well, of course, as “don’t do illegal things yourself”)
Am I the only one wondering what the hell is wrong with a little alcohol and pot? Christ, I’m 35.
Apparently all that pot and/or alcohol has fucked up your reading comprehension, or you’d have noticed that several of the replies have made the exact idiotic point you just did.
I’ve noticed something too. Without exception, that is, with no exceptions, the people in my High School who were pothead losers before, during, and after graduation are still pothead losers. Rapidly approaching 40, some have jobs, fewer have homes, and most of them seem to live in a squalor of their own making. They smell like cigarettes and pot and a faint smell of alcoholic beverages, they wear their hair long a scraggly with concert shirts and torn jeans, and say “dude” a lot. They live paycheck-to-paycheck, hoping that one of their 3-8 kids doesn’t need another MRI due to another mysterious “falling down” incident, because they have little to no health insurance, and spare cash pretty much goes to alcohol, pot, and putting money into some old heap of a car.
The people who were the “Krell Boys (and Girls)”, with a single exception, went to college, got degrees, got jobs, got working, got houses, and got moving in life. The exception went nuts in college and vanished.
Yeah, yeah, given that this is the SDMB there’ll be a dozen people who will post about how they did their own version of vision quests with Don Juan for a decade and then made millions in the stock market - or how some super genius nerd-boy they knew ended up in psych ward, but seriously - IME, it’s a small minority of people who exhibit self-destructive behaviour in their late teens/early twenties who can break out. I don’t regret for a minute not being a drug user or the sort of person who went to parties to barf on the themselves.
No. Excessive alcohol and pot and partying is not something I do regularly anymore (I’m 25, or will be next month) but when I was 20 I partied like there was no tomorrow (no pot though, but that was because I was in Korea, where obtaining weed was such a hassle it wasn’t worth the trouble). I reined it in after a couple of years - I graduated with a decent GPA, worked a respectable job for a couple years, and am now finishing up my MA at UChicago. I certainly don’t regret the partying I did at 20, and even now I enjoy letting myself go every now and then.
I understand that people enjoy different lifestyles, but I feel the OP is being rather judgemental about the girl he met, which isn’t fair to her, I feel. She leads a lifestyle that you’d rather not be a part of - fine. But no need to be so sanctimonious about it.
However do you manage to keep track of all these people, with such precise and comprehensive information as to their lifestyles, children, morality, and speech habits? Must keep you awfully busy.
The next question would be, of course, whyever would you want to?
Ooops. Previous to Una.