This morning I was strolling around the market-stalls on Main Square. I came across a marketstall that sold one, just one product, put proudly on display. It was a spray, and the sign next to it said “Incredible Cottinua10! The spray that eliminates all foul odors completely”.
A salesguy stood behind the stall, all ready to pounce on any passing housewives with a smooth salesrap.
Well, I had heard about sprays that have some cool foulsmell-eating chemicals or bacteria in them. Sprays that do more then just putting a new stink on top, and may the best stink win.
Inspired by the recent thread on squalor, I wondered how sprays like that worked. Do foul smells have so much in common, that they can be minimized by just one kind of spray? Curiously, I set out to ask the salesguy about it.
Me: How does this spray work? Salesguy: Simple! You just spray it around. ::brandishes bottle:: Me: Okay. But how does it work? Salesguy: Well, it contains a triple-action. Me: A triple action? Salesguy: Yeah. Here, you can smell it. ::tries to push bottle under my nose:: Me: Thanks, but no thanks. But HOW does the spray kill the smells? Does it just mask the smell with another one? Salesguy: (proudly)Certainly not! It contains chlorine to desinfect, and bacteria, and the bacteria then eat the other bacteria. Me: Cool! What kind of bacteria? Salesguy: (slightly defensive) Microbacteria. They’re a new kind. Me: (big grin)Microbacteria? Salesguy: Yes! Microbacteria. If you don’t believe me, check it out for yourself. It has been in the paper. Twice. In July, and in August. Yeah. August.
People who will do anything rather then say: “I don’t know, okay?” are so much FUN.
A few weeks ago I was walking through a mall and got stopped by a guy at a cart. By stopped, of course, I mean physically grabbed and pulled towards him. “Sir, you gotta see this, it’s so cool, you can hear your cell phone through your car speakers, it’s so cool, you gotta buy at least two, one for you and one for your wife, here, let me demonstrate…” bla bla bla on and on, the guy wouldn’t shut up, nor would he let me get a word in edgewise.
Since it was clear that he wouldn’t let me go, I decided to plan my revenge – I feigned interest. He set up his demonstration, which failed miserably. Hmm, batteries must be dead. He tried a different radio, didn’t work with that one either. Must be the phone. Tried a different one.
This went on for about ten minutes, when he hit upon his master plan to impress me – he asked me for my cell phone. It was at that point that I informed him that I don’t own one. He got really pissed, as in how could I waste his valuable time like that when I didn’t even own a cell phone?
Sorry, dude, next time I’ll try not to get accosted by you.
I hate those cell phone kiosks at the mall. The salespeople there remind me of carnival barkers. And being the nice person that I am, I feel uncomfortable ignoring them as I stroll by, cell phone hanging from my front pocket, as they scream, “Excuse me, ma’am? You in the blue shirt! Ma’am! We need to talk about your cell phone! Ma’am!”
I was in Circuit City, about a year and a half ago, when I was looking to by a new HDTV. Don’t worry, I know enough to not actually buy something there.
After looking at a few TVs a salesman comes up and we have the following exchange (this is by memory, I may be mistaking native and natural format, I no longer need to remember):
SDA (sales dumb ass): That’s a nice TV isn’t it?
me: Yeah it sure is. What is its natual format?
SDA: Natural format?
me: What HD format is it designed for?
SDA: …
me: HDTVs can pickup both HD formats, but one is the natural format. Is it 720p or 1080i?
SDA:(pouncing on a term he has heard before)It is 1080i. All HDTVs sold in the US are 1080i.
me: Are you sure about that?
SDA: Yes. All HDTVs are 1080i.
me: That is not true.
SDA: …
me: See that Samsung over there? That is a 720p TV.
SDA: Are you sure about that?
me: (as I head to the door) Yes. You may want to read up on the products you sell.
See, this would be even more precious if you were laying out complete gibberish, or even better, good information from an entirely different technology.
I was accosted a few months ago by the manicure kiosk lady. “Come here! I just have to show you this neat thing you can do with your nails!”
It is to laugh – I don’t wear makeup, I can barely do anything with my hair, and if my (usually very short) nails are filed smooth and clean of dirt it’s a good day. It took three rounds of “No, really, I don’t do anything with my nails and I’m not interested at all” before she would leave me alone (and yes, all of this as I kept walking).
Any ladies with scientific backgrounds here? Do you go to the spa? My wife, an oncologist with a bio-chem undergrad, has to endure tons of pseudo-science BS about the wonderfullness of each treatment, every time she goes. She just smiles and nods and gets to play the bimbo. She almost always goes “undercover” (uses her married name, gives vague answers) because if she tells them what she does, they all want to have her look at various moles* and skin lesions, or tell her about a reative who had cancer.
How do you gals deal with the pseud-science in the cosmetic industry?
*We once had a guy start taking off his shirt in the middle of a wedding reception to get her to look at something on his back. :eek: I was in the “doghouse” for the rest of the evening, and had to be extra nice and bring her all her drinks, because I was the one who blew her cover…
As someone who graduated with a degree in Environmental Science (emphasis on chemistry) from one of the better known schools on the west coast, I have to really bite my lip when the armchair ecologists come out of the woodwork. The worst are my sister’s friends, who all have degrees in creative writing and Communications and whatnot, but they all know more about the environment than I do because they wear hemp clothing and smoke pot out of glass pipes (without metal screens, don’t want to be inhaling that sublimating metal, duh) and buy organic food…:rolleyes:. Sigh.
Depends. “This product is made with ingredients, chosen with the utmost care” makes me smile. “100 % natural ingredients” annoys me. (I mean, so are stinging nettles). Ingredients like “aqua” and “silicium” (water and sand) make me want to pay less for the product. So do ingredients whose only attraction is the idea, because they are chemically inert IMLO, such as added silk. Mainly I see label-teksts as exercises in creative writing with VERY little substantial copy.
Every ingredient I don’t recognize the name of, however, restores hope. :dubious:
I give telemarketers who call at dinnertime to my two-and-a-half year old son, who just LOVES answering the telephone - doesn’t listen, just talks: “Just a moment. You need to speak to Joseph about this.” Then I put it on speaker and listen to him telling them about the latest exploits of the imaginary Mr Jones, who lives in the kitchen with the imaginary monkeys and drives an imaginary tractor.
Many years ago I had a door-to-door encyclopedia salesman come to the door (unsolicited, of course). I was young and didn’t know exactly what to do with him so I allowed him to give his spiel. After 30 minutes, I told him I wasn’t interested and he was pissed that I “wasted” his time.
Sheesh. I thought I was just being polite. :smack:
I’m usually wearing one of my work shirts at the mall, visiting the security and mall offices, checking on their two-way radio needs. My shirts have the Motorola logo prominently displayed on them.
When one of the cell phone geeks tries to accost me, I ask, “Do you sell Motorola phones?” When he answers yes, I point to the logo on my shirt and say: “I’m the Motorola rep for this area. You realize, of course, that you have just violated contract paragraph 42 subparagraph 2a of your dealer agreement. Please let me have one of your cards with your name, and the name and number of your supervisor. Your dealership will never be allowed to buy another Motorola phone.”
The looks I get are priceless. Usually it looks like “Aw crap, I’m going to lose THIS job too…”
I had the pleasure of dealing with one particularly not-so-bright sales girl pushing lotion.
My lotion usage is like this: I received a very nice set of four Victoria’s Secret lotions about 3 years ago from my sis-in-law - I’m set for life.
Anywho, the first time I passed and she flagged me down I stopped, smiled and politely told her no thank you and yes, I’m quite sure.
Five minutes later, coming back the other way, she flagged me down again.
This time I just slowed slightly and told her, “Still not interested, thank you!”
Her reply was, “Oh! Sorry! Did I already ask you?” Two minutes as I had to pass her cart yet again (hubby and I were trying to find his dumb-ass dad who kept moving around trying to find us :rolleyes: ) she again tried to flag me down even though I was practically walking on the wall to try and avoid her.
It’s not like I look like a lot of people - I’m a big girl with lots of piercings.
I do believe that last time she was just trying to piss me off.
