I'm such a sucker (but I learned my lesson)

Mundane Pointless Stuff I Must Share (MPSIMS)
#1

Well, it is that time of year again when I brave the mall to fulfill my Christmas shopping obligation. There is no everyday activity that I hate more than gift shopping, for anyone. I already have an anxiety disorder, and the ritual of buying gifts for loved ones that are supposed to somehow express our feelings for them (“it’s the thought that counts”) only ramps up the nervousness. I’m including this as a prelude to the main account because I feel it excuses my behavior to some degree.

As I was wandering around the local mall, an attractive woman from Israel (she told me she was, anyway) at a kiosk asked if I wanted to try some lotion. I agreed to let her give me a dab of it (first mistake), and while doing so, she told me how rough my fingernails were. “Follow me,” she said. I did (second mistake), and she demonstrated a fingernail buffer that left my right thumbnail with a beautiful shine (which is still there). Long story short, I ended up buying over $100 worth of skin and nail care products from a company called Seacret. I have salt supposedly from the Dead Sea, the fingernail treatment kit, foot lotion, hand lotion, and two bars of soap. Will I use all of this stuff? God, now I feel I have to!

The moral of the story: Never stop at kiosks in malls if you’re a sucker like me for beautiful women. Ever. Keep moving.

#2

Dude, I know exactly what kind of product you’re talking about!

Last year a short brunette (I am a huge sucker for dark haired shorty females) approached me as I was walking along and asked if I’d like to see a product demonstration, or something, I don’t remember her exact words.

Being an unattached male at the time, I said yes.

She took my hand and went off on her spiel while buffing a nail on my left hand and sadly that was the only buffing she did to me. Instead of actually responding to her sales pitch I just attempted to flirt with her, but her goals (selling me some shit I don’t want) did not match up with mine (getting laid) and we ended up just talking at each other instead of to each other.

I told her it was still early in my shopping so I’d have to think it over before I made any large committments to Christmas gifts that may not be that wise. I departed with a shiny nail on my left hand and that is all.

We never saw each other again. :frowning:

#3

Funny, my saleswoman was also a short brunette.

#4

You live in Reno? 'Cause the same thing happened to me at the mall there. I didn’t buy anything though.

#5

No, West Texas. I’ve also gotten hustled in the San Antonio River Walk area while on a business trip by this same outfit.

#6

Give the items you bought as gifts and your done with shopping until next year.

#7

Yesterday, when I waved off the lotion girl’s offering and her follow-up request to ask me a question, she beckoned after me that I was breaking her heart. Awww.

I noticed that both the people working that kiosk had a Middle Eastern look to them and now that I know the lotions use genuine Dead Sea salt I guess that might explain it.

#8

The first time I was attacked by these people I was shocked the health department would let them use that buffer over and over again. Aren’t manicure tools supposed to be sterile? What if I had HIV and a hangnail? I know, not much of a risk but still a risk.

#9

They’re called Dead Sea Secrets in our mall. They’re so g-d annoying I’ve complained to the management about them. They will chase you several yards yelling out “can I ask you a question…?” and will block my way sometimes. Mgmt tells me they’ve had to tell them to tone it down quite a few times. Some years ago I did buy a kit because I got sucked in, and like someone says above, liked the shine.

#10

Holy crap. That same thing happened to me about two years ago. I only spent about $30 bucks on the buffer thing though. Turned out to be a pretty good product – they still use it some.

#11

A guy actually grabbed my hand and told me that I was in need of a manicure.

I will never buy that Dead Sea stuff.

#12

They’re annoying people all over North America, apparently; there’s one kiosk in every mall I go to here in Calgary. They annoy the everloving piss out of me - they pester you as you’re shopping, then say something in non-English as soon as you go by (my guess is “bitch”). I wish to God they would disappear back under the rock they crawled out from under, these telemarketers of the mall.

#13

Typical. If you didn’t want to be harassed by telemarketers of the mall, you wouldn’t be in the mall. :smiley:

I am thankful that I’ve never had one of these people say anything more to me than their opening question if I’d like to sample their product or whatever. A simple “No thanks.” and I’m merrily on my way.

#14

I don’t understand why people shop at the mall for Christmas. Especially people with social anxiety issues. Are there things you can’t buy online that you can only buy at the mall?

You did a good thing by doing your shopping early enough in December, statsman. But you just did it in the wrong place! :smiley:

#15

Shipping is going to cost me more than the five minute drive to the mall will.

Malls offer a wider variety of browsing unless I want to browse through Google first just to list a bucnh of websites for me to search through for a gift I might not even buy and for someone that might not even like it if I do buy it.

Malls offer food I don’t have available to me at home and Chick-Fil-A offers free refills on their Dr Pepper (and I assume other drinks, but IDK know why those exist honestly), so I can drink to my heart’s content. This allows me to at least enjoy myself while browsing the variety of stores and actually being able to see the product at hand.

EDIT: I managed to forget another important benefit of malls. You can flirt with the short brunette saleswomen that attempt to sell you things. Or just any short brunette you see for that matter. :wink:

#16

They do make stand alone Chick-Fil-A stores now. As far as I know, you are still stuck with the mall for Burbon Chicken and Cinnabons.

Also - news flash! Pretty woman gets man to buy things from/for her. Now if you will excuse me, I have to buy a car and some jewelry for my wife.

#17

I posted on another board about these pests, naming them “mall kiosk sales whores”, because they annoy the everloving shit out of me. So it’s a continent-wide plague, huh? I’d complain to the management of my local mall, but I’m sure they’d ignore me as I’m not within the 18-35 demographic that they want to target.

ETA: I complained anyway. Sent a nastily-worded e-mail to the management of the local mall. Watch 'em ignore it.

#18

I use malls for walking when the weather is bad, too (in fact, I’m just off to go do that). Time to slap on the iPod and pretend the mall kiosk sales whores aren’t even there. :smiley:

#19

Yeah, I left out part of the story. The girlfriend wanted to go to the mall to get a specific perfume package at one of the clothing stores, and get something engraved at Things Unnecessary (not the real name, but what I like to call the place, after a Simpsons episode that parodied the store). While waiting for the engraving, we wandered around the mall some more until I suggested we split up. She went looking at wallets and I attempted to find the mall bookstore (just about the only store other than Gamestop that I can stomach). I never made it to the bookstore; the Seacret chicks saw to that.

#20

Amen. I keep moving, even if it means lowering a shoulder and going for the game winning TD.