Heh. SWMBO bought some of that stuff once and actually liked it.
Me, if I have the misfortune to have to go to a mall and get hit on by one of the kiosk vampires…I simply whip out a VIP card and try to interest them in Taekwondo lessons. They hate like hell to have people do to them what they do to others.
A little overkill, perhaps, but it’s probably the only way to ensure that she doesn’t drag you back there again.
I’ve had kiosk people follow me a few stores from their station while hollering to see my fingernails. I just ignore them. I don’t need to participate in their schpiel.
I’m hearing tales of kiosk people stepping up their aggression and actually grabbing shoppers, or squirting their lotion on their skin to get their attention. If any one of them did that to me, I know I’d instinctively belt them one before I could collect my senses. That’s beyond crossing the line. I do not like being accosted by strangers and will automatically go into defense mode if unpleasantly surprised.
If they squirt the stuff on you without your permission, the most entertaining and education thing to do is yell:
"AAAAAH gettititittofoff getitoff AAAAAHHHHHHHHitburnsitburns AAAAAHHHHH geddidiofffffammmeeeee! "
and run around like a loon with one foot nailed to the floor, screaming and flapping your hands.
When this happens to me (and it does), I show them one particular fingernail, if you know what I mean! 
I think I’d have to go with “arrested for assault and battery” in that case. 
(Yeah, it probably wouldn’t stick, and I probably wouldn’t want it to, but I think I’d enjoy it while it lasted, you mall whore bitches.)
I was waylaid by a young male Mid-Eastern looking cutie who buffed one of MY nails and he whispered he would sell it to me (and me, alone!) for only $19.95. I was impressed and bought the nail buffing kit, which I’m giving to a friend for Christmas. I already have the rice-stuffed pillow you heat in the microwave, a couple candles, a couple scarves, and a sparkly cell phone case.
There were also some Jewish men selling aromatherapy shoulder, back, and face wraps a few feet away. Just $149 for the whole set:p
My long, white, natural fingernails practically scream to these vampires. I have to tell them “NO!” loudly and angrily usually several times before they back off. Once, dude grabbed my arm! So I punched his while yelling my big girl words. Seriously, what would make someone think that if they just assault me, I’ll buy their overpriced shit?:mad:
BTW folks, that nail buffer is super awesome but they will not sell it alone, just with the ridiculously priced set. The Body Shop has them for a reasonable price, though. I have one for purse and one for home.
Last evening, I was accosted by one of these cute young kioskites, who tried to stop me by saying, “Can I ask you a question?”
I SO wanted to answer her, “You don’t even have to ask. The answer is YES, I can f*ck you all night long.”
But, alas, I didn’t. Which is why I’m an not presently incarcerated, I suspect.