ROCKY AND BULLWINKLE
R&B have just been blown out of a building in an elevator at night, only to land in a river where they’re now floating downstream in the dark:
BULLWINKLE: Gee, Rocky! I never thought it’d be like this!
ROCKY: What?
BULLWINKLE: Heaven!
ROCKY: Bullwinkle, this isn’t Heaven!
BULLWINKLE: It’s not?!?
ROCKY: No!
BULLWINKLE: (Shivering) Then why is it so cold?!?
BASIL FAWLTY: Thank you, God! Thank you so bloody much! :mad:
LAUREL AND HARDY IN BLOCKHEADS
(I saw it in TV, so it must count!)
Stan and Ollie haven’t seen each other for 20 years:
STAN: You remember how *dumb *I used to be? I’m *better *now!
THREE’S COMPANY
(A look, not a line.)
Larry mistakenly hits on a woman old enough to be his grandmother, thinking he’s helping Jack get out of a jam. The woman is furious:
WOMAN: (To Helen Roper) How would you like it if some young man tried to seduce you?!?
The expression on Helen’s face shows exactly how she’d feel: :o
Al Bundy coming home from work: "I wish the world was a fly and I was a giant rolled up newspaper!"
Al checking his mail: "Oh, look. It says here I may already owe Ed McMahon $10,000,000."
Another from Cheers (paraphrased from memory):
Frasier: Methinks someone protests too much
Woody: Shouldn’t that be ‘I think’, Dr. Crane?
Diane: Not in your case Woody
Worf’s best line was in “Deja Q” S3E13, after Q has appeared on the Enterprise, claiming to have been made human as punishment. Of course, nobody believes him.
Q: “What must I do to convince you people!?”
Worf: “Die.”
It’s the combination of Dorn’s completely serious, deadpan delivery, and the grin on Jonathon Frakes’ face as he turns to look at Worf. Makes me think that either Frakes hadn’t read the script, or wasn’t quite prepared for Dorn’s line reading - it’s so perfect a reaction.
From Corner Gas, IMNAAHO the funniest sitcom ever!
BRENT: Face it, Dad, you’re ornery.
OSCAR: I am not ornery!
BRENT: You once punched a skunk.
OSCAR: He had it coming!!
Nah, the best Tick line is from the animated series. Tick and Arthur and being interviewed, and the interviewer asks what Tick’s powers are, but Tick doesn’t seem to actually know, so the interviewer keeps throwing out suggestions, finally getting to…
<Interviewer> Do you have the power to destroy the Earth?
<Tick> Ye GADS! I hope not…that’s where I keep all my stuff!
I find surprisingly many opportunities to use that line in my life.
Oops, nm…seem to have missed that I was beaten to this one.
Another from Night Court, the episode where we meet Bull’s mother and discover that Bull’s real name is “Nostradamus”.
Bull’s mom: “I always did love that old hunchback.”
Fielding: “But I thought…”
Bull shoots him an exasperated look: “Don’t.”
Oh, that reminds me of a Night Court related one from Facts of Life…
The characters are in Hollywood, and a couple of the girls (Tootie and Natalie, IIRC), have a brief encounter with Richard Moll, and are telling the other girls about it later.
<Probably Blaire> That’s Bull!
<Natalie> No, it’s true, I swear!
Rocky and Bullwinkle
(The Wossamatta U football team is challenged to a game with a women’s college)
Bullwinkle: “What kind of games can we play with girls?”
Rocky: “It’s too bad we’re a kiddie show.” (pause) “Parcheesi!”
Night Court: A lawsuit involving a blow up doll that “busted a boob.” The manufacturer says it couldn’t happen, and starts blowing up the doll to prove it.
Dan: Do you know how long that’s going to take.
Harry: No (pause) But I bet you do!
One I recall from Kim Possible:
Shego: Not to seem ungrateful, Junior, but why did you break me out of prison?*
Señor Senior Junior: Well, my father’s birthday is coming up and–
Shego: Hold it right there, slick. I don’t do cakes, okay? I don’t bake 'em, and I don’t jump out of 'em!
As with the Soap example above, part of the effect was “they got away with that joke?” Apparently the writers were surprised at that, too.
*A couple episodes in the fourth season had this “another villain busts Shego out and ignores Drakken, who rants and rages at the slight” bit.
The Muppet Show
Floyd Pepper: Kermit! Kermit! Animal took up bowling!
Kermit: Well, that’s a nice safe sport.
Floyd: You don’t understand! Animal bowls overhand!
From The Good Place:
Eleanor: What a condescending bench!
My favourite Corner Gas quote was when they were talking about Canadian TV shows and someone mentioned Street Legal and Oscar goes “Street Legal sucked!”
(the actor who played Oscar previously played Leon on Street Legal.)
From the episode of Night Court with the beauty pageant contestants:
Bull decides to hit on Miss Sweden.
**BULL: ** Hi! My name is Bull.
The girl is baffled. Bull pulls out his pocket notebook and draws her a quick picture.
BULL: See? Bull!
The girl thinks she understands and starts babbling in Swedish as she mimes milking a cow.
BULL: No, no! (He adds a detail to the sketch.) BULL!
The girl looks again at the picture and is scandalized! :eek:
Ross Geller’s feeble attempt to flirt with the pizza delivery girl on Friends.
Ross: You know that smell that gas has?
Delivery Girl (looking confused) What?
Ross: The smell of the gas. They add that so you know when there’s a leak.
Delivery Girl: Well, alriiiiiiight
Ross: A lot of other gas smells
In the background the rest of the gang looks horrified and Chandler deadpans " Oh the humanity".
Probably doesn’t seem funny in writing but I cannot watch that scene without laughing my ass off.