I haven’t seen this one in ages but always loved the episode where Jerry is trying to get together with the Native American woman. Something about hearing him go through the verbal contortions necessary to avoid saying “reservation” and “Indian giver” just cracks me up.
“Did you just double-dip?”
The funniest scenario was when George got caught by his mother masturbating to Ladies Home Journal (or some other woman’s magazine)
It was Glamour
Another classic:
(Kramer pulls up under Jerry’s window in a big yellow school bus)
Kramer: Hey Jerry, I’m starting the Peterman Reality Tour!
George: Reality tour?
Jerry: The last thing he’s qualified to give a tour of is reality.
I have a story about the Contest episode and since I have no place else to tell it I will tell it here.
I am watching the episode when about 5 minutes in my roomate comes in and starts watching. They are all talking about the contest and being master of your domain but since he missed the setup I ask him if he knows what they are talking about. He says he thinks so. I say "You know they mean “punching the munchkin”. He says “OK”. We continue to watch and about 10 minutes later he asks me “What’s the munchkin?”
I don’t know if anyone else will like the story but every time I think about it I get the giggles.
George’s date dumps him, and says “It’s not you, it’s me”.
George; “You’re giving me the ‘It’s not you, it’s me’ line? Listen, I invented ‘It’s not you it’s me’. That’s my line! I do it better than anybody, but that’s something you’ll never know! Well let me tell you, nobody gives me the ‘It’s not you it’s me’ line. If it’s anybody, it’s me!”
Pure poetry, pure genius. I think the above comes from the same episode that had Marlee Maitlin and Kramer becoming a ball-boy and Elaine not wanting to snub the cab driver… it was all seamlessly brilliant.
Sorry if the above quote lacks accuracy, by the way. I’m a Brit, and although the BBC did buy some Seinfelds they were never given a good slot and we don’t get re-runs either. The only reason I’ve seen the Last Episode is because I was lucky enough to be visiting LA when it aired. It has still never been shown over here!
“Who would’ve thought an immigrant would have a pony?”
I also liked the episode when George decides that everything that he’s ever done in his whole life had been a mistake, so he decides to go against his instincts. I think that’s when he got his job with the Yankees.
when george’s mother said: “like an amuuuuusement park.” i use that phrase when talking about … well… you know… using your body like an amusement park.
“The sea was angry that day, my friends. Like an old man trying to send back soup in a deli.” --George
“Oh Moses smell the roses.” --Jerry
Serenity Now!
These pretzles are making me thirsty!
i know what a reservation is… no, I don’t think that you do, if you did I would have my car, you know how to take a reservation, anyonecan TAKE a reservation, you just don’t know how to HOLD the reservation, and thats really the most important part of the reservation, the holding.
Take the Pen!
I felt it move.
(a good two seasons after the episode of reference Jerry is getting a massage from a girlfriend and says) You don’t know how long I’ve waited for this.
I’m not sure about anyone else but I thought the last episode was horrible. I love the show have tapes and tapes of it, but the last episode was a big let down I thought.
Actually, IIRC, that line (“You don’t know how long I’ve waited…”) was actually in the episode after Jerry had been dating a masseuse. Said masseuse wouldn’t give him a massage, though. The next episode, he gets a massage from a non-masseuse girlfriend, and delivers the line above.
I could be wrong, though.
Let’s see…more good lines…
“Like those hip musicians, with their complicated shoes!”
“Blueberry blackberry.”
“Blackberry boysenberry.”
“Boysenberry rasberry.”
“Raspberry cranberry.”
“Peach!”
“We’re LIVING in a SOCIETY!!!”
favourite situation: Elaine, having slept through the alarm, trying to dress the awful brit visitor and get him to the airport
favourite moment: george produces a golf-ball, and everyone looks at Kramer
favourite line: [dramatically and with growing anger and desperation] These pretzels are making me thirsty!!!
the fave line flushes fellow seinfeld-watchers out of the conversational bushes at parties too.
How about when Seinfeld and Elaine are sitting on his sofa, discussing how they can do “that” in “there” and still be friends. Cracks me up every time.
“They’re real, and they’re spectacular.”
George, when a writer threatens to “out” Seinfeld and George in a story: “Do ya wanna have sex? Let’s have sex right now!”
I always liked Elaine’s “Big Head” situation, especially the line from when the bird flew into her head in the park.
“He flew right into your head. It’s like he couldn’t avoid it.”
From the episode at the Hamptons beachhouse.
Kramer: Yo Yo Ma
Jerry: Bhoutros Bhoutros Ghali
George’s girlfriend: Anybody want a drink?
Well I haven’t seen my favorites in this thread yet:
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The episode when it suddenly becomes fashionable to eat candy bars with a fork and knife. Especially the very end when Elaine stands up in the middle of the diner and yells at everyone: “What’s the matter with you people? Have you all gone mad?”
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Elaine gets into a snit with a germophobic coworker and “contaminates” her office. Elaine: “That woman is crazy! She thinks she’s sick just because I coughed on her doorknob, rub my ass on her keyboard and stuck her stapler in my armpit! She’s nuts I tell you, nuts!!”
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The entire “Bizarro Jerry” episode.
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And funniest of all is when Jerry mugs the old lady for the loaf of marble rye bread.
George: The sea was angry that day, my friends. Like an old man at a deli trying to send back soup.
Kramer apologizing to the chimp.
George’s father: Where’s your mother? You ask me to get a piece of underwear, and I’m back in 3 seconds.
George: Well, the jerk store called and they’re all out of you!
George’s nemesis: So what? you’re their best seller!