Must. Kill. Moe…WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE! Must. Kill. Moe…WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE! Must. Kill. Moe…WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!
Grandpa: I tell a cat and mouse what to do.
Homer: Interesting!
(A thought bubble sprouts form Homer’s head. Homer is pushing Grandpa in a wheelbarrow while Grandpa sings a wordless little tune over and over, stops in front of a building with a sign reading “NUT HOUSE,” rings the doorbell and runs away.)
Homer: All in favor?
Crowd: Aye!
Homer: All opposed?
(Droopy voice from the back): Nay.
Homer: Who keeps saying that?
(The crowd parts, revealing a little old man and a buff guy)
Old man (in Droopy voice): It was him. Let’s get 'im.
(The crowd jumps on the buff guy. The old man stands to the side cackling)
Also from Last Exit To Springfield, the Mr. Burns/Grinch parody: “Look at them through the darkness I’m bringing. They’re not sad at all, they’re actually singing. They sing without juicers. They sing without blenders. They sing without snapplers, cadapplers, and sminglers.”
:smack: How could I have forgotten:
Can’t sleep…clown’ll eat me…can’t sleep…clown’ll eat me…
I like the episode with the teacher’s strike, especially Homer yelling at Lisa after she built a perpetual motion machine:
“Young lady, in this house we obey the laws of physics!”
He also yells at her for insulting Vassar. Also from that episode, when Grandpas friend is substituting, and and explaining all the misbehavior he’ll paddle them for, the line, “Paddling the school canoe? You’d better believe that’s a paddling.” always cracks me up.
In the Halloween Episode where Homer returns to the old gypsy woman who put a curse on the Simpsons. He’s about to attack her with a leprechaun.
She says “Ah, the cursed one! How’s that curse I cursed you with, Cursed-y?” And Homer says something like “I know you don’t remember me, but you’re going to pay!” It was funny because she obviously did remember him.
There are a million more, it would take too long to list all my favorite moments.
Bed goes up… bed goes down… bed goes up… bed goes down
sunrise… sunset… sunrise… sunset…sunrise…sunset…[crash]
dental plan, lisa needs braces, dental plan, lisa needs braces, dental plan, lisa needs braces
“Christmas is the one time of year when people of all religions come together to worship Jesus Christ.” - Bart
“Aren’t we forgetting the true meaning of this day — the birth of Santa?” - Also Bart
“I am familiar with the works of Pablo Neruda.” - Bart
“I remember another gentle visitor from the heavens, he came in peace
and then died, only to come back to life, and his name…was E.T., the extra-
terrestrial. I loved that little guy.” - Reverend Lovejoy
Just heard this one on TV.
H: “Every time I learn something new, it pushes some old stuff out of my brain… Remember when I took that brewery* course and I forgot how to drive”
M: “That’s because you were drunk!”
[sub]*I actually forgot what course he said so I guessed[/sub]
Homer: “Alright brain, if you don’t think of something to win back marge we’re lost forever”
Homer’s Brain: “eatthepuddingeatthepuddingeatthepuddingeatthepuddingeatthepudding”
We could start a whole thread on Homer’s Brain. My favorite is from the Sherry Bobbins episode, where Homer tells Bart & Lisa “You have my undivided attention”, and his brain immediately starts playing a 1930’s b&w cartoon of barnyard animals playing “Turkey in the Straw”.
I always loved that scene, but strangely they seem to cut the “eatthepuddingeatthepuddingeatthepudding” part from syndication.
I’m pretty sure they’ve pulled this gag a couple of times, but I always think it’s funny.
The whole family is at a restaurant after dinner. The waiter comes over and hands Homer his credit card:
Waiter. I’m sorry sir I’m afraid this card’s been declined.
Homer. That’s ok, I have plenty of perfectly valid credit cards right…RUN! [Throws handful of cards at the waiter’s face. They all run from the table.]
I’m sure this was mentioned but I didn’t want to wade the whole thread.
The episode where the crayon lodged in Homer’s head is removed.
Nelson tries to snap on him by saying something like a “loser says what”
Homer quickly replies “not being a moron I would know however <mumbling into his hand> bzbzbbzbzb”
Nelson falls for it and the whole auditorium laughs at him.
The timing on it was just perfect.
A very close second is the entire moe feedbag episode, which has a million funny lines.
“Oh your toof hurts? WELL THAT’S TOO FRICKEN BAD!”
and
"you you got the stinklines all coming out and everything.
and
“any time unkie moe yells at you, you get a free fish…steak”
A veryclose third is the entire Lisa gets married in the future to hugh grant episode.
I think, ‘fish’ and ‘steak’ were the other way round, because moe, being a skinflint, downgrades his hasty mention of ‘steak’ to ‘steakfish’
But I could be wrong.
Homer: That baby-proofing crook wanted to sell us safety covers for the electrical outlets. But I’ll just draw bunny faces on them to scare Maggie away.
Marge: She’s not afraid of bunnies.
Homer (ominously): She will be.
Homer: No TV and no beer make Homer…something something.
Marge: Go crazy?
Homer: Don’t mind if I do!
I’m also partial to the sex education film starring the rabbit:
“Fuzzy Bunny started to notice hair growing where there hadn’t been any hair.”
Then, cue skanky 70s porn music.
Kids: “Eeeewwwwww.”
Edna: “She’s faking it.”
“To the bee-mobile!”
“You mean your Chevy?”
“…Yes.”
More classic timing. Cracks me the hell up.
At the end of the episode where Bart becomes famous for his “I didn’t do it” catchphrase, everyone is in the Simpsons’ living room, dissing the whole concept of catchphrases.
Homer (knocking something over): “D’oh!”
Bart: “Ay Caramba!”
Marge: “Nnnnn!”
Nelson: “Haw, haw!”
Burns: “Excellent!”
Maggie: <suck-suck>
Barney: <belch>
Flanders: “Hi-dilly Ho!”
Everyone looks over at Lisa. She gets a disgusted look on her face and delivers her line: “If anyone wants me, I’ll be in my room”.