By far this Seinfeld bit. I can’t remember the exact wording but it’s something like this:
Kramer, answering the phone in Jerry’s apartment: Hello…Vanda-what?
George in the bathroom screaming: Say Vandalay! Say Vandalay!
Kramer: There’s no Vandalay Industries here.
George runs out of the bathroom with his pants down around his ankles and falls to the floor.
The kicker is when when Jerry walks in, sees him lying on the floor and says, “And to think, I was going to make you my latex salesman.”
Chicken pot, chicken pot, chicken pot…pppiiiieeee.
Everybody Loves Raymond–The scene where Robert responds to the police call when Marie backs the car into Ray & Deborah’s house.
German guest: “Stop talking about the war!”
Basil: “Well you started it!”
German guest: “We did not start it!”
Basil: “Yes you did. You invaded Poland”.
Can possibly be matched. Cannot be bettered.
Everybody Loves Raymond PMS episode where Ray tries to hug Deb and Deb wants to have none of it.
I would say that Small…Far Away tops that.
Nobody has mentioned #1–The ending of Newhart
Chuckles the Clown dies.
Nobody yet has mentioned the *All In The Family * episode when Sammy Davis, Jr. kissed Archie Bunker?
It’s been decades and I can still remember: “A little song, a little dance, a little seltzer down your pants.”
Other than the two you mentioned, the one that always stuck with me is when they decide to demonstrate the dangers of drunk driving by having Johnny get drunk on air and the Trooper would test his reflexes, but as Johnny gets drunker his reflexes keep getting better and better until he is near passed out but has superhuman reflexes.
Several years ago, I think it was TNN that was airing two WKRP episodes a day, and I was duly taping them all. I was all excited to see the “phone cops” episode coming up, but unfortunately it never aired . . . because some planes had been flown into some buildings in NYC about a week prior.
Another WKRP, the entire Ferryman Funeral Commercial.
So many great funny lines:
Ferryman: My brochure
Herb: Wow, it’s heavy
Ferryman: In my business people want heavy
“I’m a volume dealer I like to move them in and move them out.”
“Volume business, group rates, over 6000 satisfied
customers.”
And the commercial song, pure gold.
“Hey your young and swinging no time to think about tomorrow but there’s no need to deny it, some day your going to buy it.”
The Dick Van Dyke Show Rob fears the hospital mixed up his son with another couple’s, leading to a meeting with the other boy’s father. . .
A few from Blackadder Goes Forth:
Lt George: “If we do happen to step on a mine, Sir, what do we do?”
Cpt Blackadder: “Normal procedure, Lieutenant, is to jump 200 feet in the air and scatter oneself over a wide area.”
Cpt Blackadder: “Baldric, that is the worst plan since Abe Lincoln said to his wife, I’m sick of sitting around the house, let’s catch a show.”
Cpt Blackadder: “Since then, we’ve made as much ground as an asthmatic ant with a heavy load of shopping.” [Commenting on allied progress in WW1].
I wish I had gotten here earlier. I was going to say Dr. Johnny Fever’s phone cops bit.
I’m also a MwC fan, and most of the best bits are around Al destroying one of Kelly’s boyfriends or ex-boyfriends. My two favorites are the one where, while throwing the guy out, Al just points to things and the kid runs himself into them, and the one where Kelly sees a boyfriend in the movie theater with another girl and asks Al to beat him up, which Al does for his little pumpkin.
My favorite Cheers Norm line was “It’s a dog-eat-dog world and I’m wearing milk-bone underwear.”
C’mon people, no one has mentioned:
What does a “Yellow Light” mean?
Lucy had some classics. The Chocolate factory, VitaMeataVegaMin, the 10 ft long loaf of bread, Lucy and Harpo, Lucy setting her fake nose on fire.
Another from the Dick Van Dyke show may be my favorite. At the end of the episode where Laura opens Robs mail, and Rob and the team have written a sketch for the Alan Brady Show about it. Millie and Jerry come over to apologize to Laura for thinking she had really opened a package containing an inflatable boat. When they walk in the door, there is Laura in the living room with an inflatable boat. They are unable to apologize because they are overcome with laughter.
That was my intro to that show. I caught that scene and liked it and a few months later worked my way through the entire series. (It had been off the air for probably 10 years when I started watching it. I still remember, it was a St Patrick’s day Taxi Marathon, I watched like 15 episodes all tinted green.
The entire series was the funniest sitcom moment ever.