The best ones are unintentionally funny.
This lyric is from a Johnny Cash song and it was actually the main chorus line, but I think it may also have been the title of the song too.
(To country guitar backing)
"Does my ring hurt your finger, when you go out at night?"
NOFX:
Clams Have Feelings Too (Actually They Don’t)
Take Two Placebos And Call Me Lame
It’s My Job To Keep Punk Rock Elite
Ween:
Spinal Meningitis (Got Me Down)
Mister, Would You Please Help My Pony?
Waving My Dick in the Wind
Help Me Scrape the Mucus off my Brain
The Queers:
Ursula Finally has Tits
Night of the Livid Queers
We’d Have A Riot Doing Heroin
Kicked Out Of The Webelos
I’m Okay, You’re Fucked
Mrs. Brown, You’ve Got An Ugly Daughter
Journey to the Center of Your Empty Fucking Skull
Lyle Lovett is good for a few:
She’s No Lady (She’s my wife)
I Married Her Just Because She Looks Like You
She Think’s my Tractor’s Sexy - Kenney Chesney.
halfsharkalligatorhalfman - Dr. Octagon (on the album Dr. Octagonecologyst)
“My Gal is Red-Hot, Your Gal Ain’t Doodly-Squat.”
Artist unknown.
Novelty songs have some cute titles. Here are some that Dr. Demento often plays:
Nudist Colony Of The Dead - Mark Pirro & The Pirromount Pictures Orchestra (from the movie)
Dachshunds With Erections Can’t Climb Stairs - The Mrs Ackroyd Band
Carmen Miranda’s Ghost is Haunting Space Station 3 - Leslie Fish
What Can You Get A Wookiee For Christmas (When He Already Owns A Comb?) - The Star Wars Intergalactic Droid Choir & Chorale
She Left Me For A Destitute Quadriplegic Because Of The Good Sex - Mr. Zipp
The original Book of Lists had a list (suprisingly) of the “worst song titles ever.” The book itself is somewhere in a pile in my room, so I can’t remember the artists, but the titles were gold.
“Mama, Get Your Hammer (There’s a Fly on Baby’s Head)”
“Kill a Tree for Christ”
“It’s Hard to Say ‘I Love You’ (When You’re Sitting on My Face)”
Etc.
NOFX:We Poured Gasoline on the Fire and Now We Have Stumps For Arms and No Eyebrows
And the White Stripes “You’re Pretty Good Lookin’ for a Girl” made me laugh
That’s a real title, except it’s simply “If You Don’t Leave Me, I’ll Find Somebody Who Will”. And strictly speaking, it’s not a full song: it’s one verse that he wrote as the theme song for Route 66 (not the original series, but a remake). But you didn’t imagine it, is my point.
I agree w/ the Anal Cunt post…
“You’re Pregnant So I Kicked You In The Stomach”
…or…
“I Sent Holocaust Footage To America’s Funniest Home Videos”
Hey, I’m not sayin’ they’re right, but they sure are funny.
Hmm, Anal Cunt’s a tough one to beat. How about some Carcass titles:
“Genital Grinder”
“Vomited Anal Tract”
“Manifestation of Verrucose Urethra”
“Cadaveric Incubator of Endo-Parasites”
“Embryonic Necropsy and Devourment”
“Lavaging Expectorate of Lysergide Composition”
However, the weirdest title that has stuck with me for the longest has got to be “Every Time I Eat My Vegetables I Think of You” by the Ramones.
IMHO, some of the titles posted here aren’t funny - kind of gross, actually. (Why would you do an autopsy on an embryo and then eat it??)
Johnny Socko (a great local/regional band about to hit the BIG TIME) has some good ones:
This is Your Vasectomy
Bovaquarium
If I Didn’t Have a Goiter
Blue Oyster Cult: “Joan Crawford Has Risen From the Grave”
Type O Negative: “Unsuccesfully Coping with the Natural Beauty of Infidelity” --immortalized on their fake live album under the alternate title “I Know You’re Fucking Someone Else”
Cannibal Corpse: “Meat Hook Sodomy”
" I’m a slave to my Dick" by Dead by thirty
The Dead Milkmen:
“Takin’ Retards To The Zoo”
Didn’t Carcass also have a song called “I Cum Blood”? Or was that Cannibal Corpse? I saw the title YEARS ago on an Alterative Tenticles sampler.
Mojo Nixon:
“Are you drinkin’ with me, Jesus?”
Can we nominate album titles, too?
The Dead Milkmen:
“Belzebubba”
My Life With The Thrill Kill Cult:
“Kooler Than Jesus”
Talking Heads:
“Sand in the Vaseline” (boxed set)