From Tinycow: “We aim to please. You aim, too, please.”
“Gentlemen, please stand close to the stage, it’s not as long as you think. Ladies, please remain seated for the entire performance.”
In big, scrawling, letters: I FUCKED YOUR MOTHER!
In neat handwriting beneath it: Go home, Dad, you’re drunk.
I sold my soul to Satan for a dollar. I got it in the mail.
In a similar vein…
“Stand close… That’s not a Winchester you’re holding.”
A committee is a lifeform with six or more legs and no brain.
In big, scrawling, letters: I FUCKED YOUR MOTHER! In neat handwriting beneath it: Go home, Dad, you’re drunk.
Surgoshan – My absolute favorite! I wrote this on the wall of the men’s room of my favorite bar (when I still drank).
Un-toppable, at least in its own category of graffiti.
From a men’s room at my old college, found amidst all the messages supposedly from gay guys looking for action:
19/m looking for some pussy. Any of you queers got sisters?
TMR
You will buy the ukulele, and touch every place.
Found written on condom machine in base exchange, McGuire AFB, NJ.
“This chewing gum tastes funny”
…send lawyers, guns, and money…
Warren Zevon“You shit-house poets are sons-of-bitches,
While I stand here and read I shit in my britches.”
Not sure where I saw this one.
In the beginning, God created the earth and rested. Then God created Man
and rested. Then God created Woman. Since then, neither God nor Man has
rested.
“Trust Jesus… but keep your camel tied”
If Cecil Adams did not exist, we would be obliged to create Him.
AuntiePam: What were you doing in the men’s room? No wonder you quit drinking!
On an “official” placard posted above the urinals in the Deck Department head aboard the USS Yosemite:
"Bosuns and snipes:
Please don’t eat the tasty mints."
Voted Best Sport
And narrowly averted the despised moniker Smiley Master
Forward deployed until 18AUG00