I have told a girlfriend to “tell your friends” after making her cum 4-5 times going down on her. Im pretty sure she almost pissed all over me laughing. It was a dope line, and would have been worth it.
I have also stopped in the middle of sex to tell her that if she got pregnant, I was “taking her ass on Maury”.
To her credit, she gives hands down the greatest head I can possibly imagine (and I’m a 28 year old porn loving male, so I imagine that stuff fairly often :D), and has looked up from going down on me to comment, in a very matter of fact manner “You must really be enjoying this.”
She also instituted a no-anal-unless-it’s-a-holiday rule. Then on random days she will text me at work to remind me that it is Martin Luther King Senior Day, or Drive Your Daughter To School Day, or something equally banal or invented. We celebrated Arbor Day in a way few others did.
I think the best thing in the world about my sex life right now is that we are as interested in finding new and interesting ways to make each other cum as laugh. It couldn’t be better, IMHO.
This one came after having watched an episode of Spongebob. The Tell-Tale Heart episode, to be precise. In said episode Mr. Crabs ends up dealing with a horribly squeaky pair of boots he gave Spongebob. He finally ends up frying and eating the boots and emerges from the kitchen with a burp and a few smug words.
Later that evening, after an especially impressive performance on my part, I finished our love-making session with the same smug words. I looked deep into my wife’s eyes and said, “The deed is done.” Not that funny, but taken with our recent viewing of the show it ended with us laughing uncontrollably. That still pops up(see what I did there?) from time to time.
a) “Jesus Christ has your penis gotten 5 inches longer since yesterday!?”
b) “I am a lake” - Said by my girlfriend (i use this term loosely)
c) “I have a puddle on meeeeee”
d) “Don’t pet me there, contrary to popular belief it is not a cat. It is not a feline”
e) “Most… Intense… Orgasm… EVER”
Okay so that last one isnt so much funny… more just a nice ego boost I felt it necessary to include.:dubious:
Said to my husband; “Mmmmm…my favorite part is when it’s over.” What I meant was, the part where he’s throbbing and spurting is the part where I get off. Whoops. At least he laughed.
You know, it isn’t so much as anything funny was said, but one time, when we were still in a long distance relationship and were seeing each other at a hotel for a once-a-month-if-that kind of thing, we had sex on the bed and laughed the WHOLE WAY through it. Not because anything was funny, and there was no ridicule in it, it was just laughter based on joy and it was the weirdest (and coolest) experience ever.
