One of the exceptions, my husband’s step-father, is dying.
And I, in my hatred of my in-laws, really really really don’t want to visit.
I know step-dad is a nice enough guy. But this visit will be 5% visiting SD and 95% listening to the abusive shrieks of my harpy of a mil with no way to escape and four hours from my own home where I could go to bed and barricade the door and bury myself under a puffy comforter.
Still, I should want to go.
Still, I don’t.
There. It doesn’t get more mundane and pointless than that.
Even though you don’t want to go (which is understandable), I urge you to do so. I’ve been in a similar situation, and although having to listen to the nearly-intolerable yammering of the folks I didn’t like was unpleasant, I am not sorry that I spent that time at the hospital.
Is the reason you’d endure 95% shreiking because you’d be staying with the MIL? Get a motel room and don’t tell her ahead of time. When you get there, check in, meet up with her at the house or hospital or wherever S-FIL is. When she starts talking about making up the spare room, present it to her as a fait accompli: “Oh, we’re staying at a motel, we know your hands are full dealing with S-FIL’s illness and we can’t burden you any further.”
No, we’re definitely staying at a hotel. We haven’t stayed with her since, er, two years when I declared that I absolutely refused.
Step-dad isn’t an easy person to visit. He doesn’t really chat or talk or do much of anything but listen. So we’ll be in the same room as he is, but he’ll probably say “Hi,” and “Nice to see ya,” and that’s about it.
Apparently, he’s at home rather than the hospital. The doctors sent him home saying they couldn’t do anything else, and that he really could die at any time. So I know we have to go. I just hate my mil with a passion that I am incapable of describing.
This ain’t about you. It’s about your partner and his parents. I assume he’s driving the decision to visit so do it for him. Be the better person which means … go with no strings and no bitching. (not that you would, I’m just saying)
There. You’ve lost only 8.5 hours out of your life, avoided your mother in law, spent about as much time with your father in law as would be meaningful, and maybe cheered him up a little.