If insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results, I am bonkers

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
1

My mother is dying. Thinking she would like to see her daughter and grandson, I offered to fly them out here to visit her. They took me up on the offer, somehow also including son-in-law, who my mom isn’t fond of, but oh, well.

Here’s the bonkers part: I thought they would actually go out of their way to spend time with her, even though they barely saw here when they lived here. Yeah, I know. Stupid of me. So they are merrily visiting local attractions and used book stores while I visit mom, despite the fact that I am working full time.

I know she is difficult. I know visiting dying people is difficult. I just thought they would try harder than this.

I don’t think I will ever learn. :smack::smack::smack::smack::smack:

2

First off: I am very sorry to hear about your mother’s illness. Though I don’t pray or send positive thoughts, I do deliver virtual hugs.

{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{Brynda}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}

Second: Yeah, that sucks. I don’t know if you’re looking for a better way to think at thinks, but if you are, consider this: regardless of your relatives behavior, at least you have demonstrated your love to your mother, and that, in itself, will be a comfort to her. I’m using comfort in the literal sense: knowing you were willing to do this for her will give her a bit of strength, I think.

Be well, and don’t beat yourself up.

3

Thanks for the hug and the kind words.

I just wish I could stop expecting from others what they can’t or won’t do. It only hurts me, and it pisses me off that I know better.

<chanting> accept the things you cannot change</chanting>

4

Brynda, so sorry that you have to go through this. :: virtual hugs ::

5

Wow.

teh sux.

Virtual hugs all around- that makes no sense. I was flown out as a young child to visit my grandmother dying- and I was confused, but understood the little I could do was love her and comfort my grandfather…

6

I’m so sorry Brynda. I know how hard it is expecting better out of people and then them failing to live up to even a low standard. Here’s hoping your mom has peace and comfort in her final days and that you do too. I’ll be praying for you.

7

Yes, Brynda, you are bonkers.

Kind, thoughtful, magnanimous, and bonkers.

It is your bonkers conscience I would rather live with though.

Sorry to hear about your mother. Not sorry to hear about the lovely things you’re doing for her.

8

Tell 'em there’s been a change of plans, and they will have to return via Greyhound.

9

You’re a good egg, [[[[Brynda]]]]].

10

Hmmmmm…I like the idea of Greyhound all the way back from TN to AZ. :slight_smile:

Fortunately, my mom is not in pain and is well cared for. She is just lonely and can’t do much (legally blind and fairly deaf, can’t really make conversation much).

11

It was reasonable of you to think that people would realize circumstances had changed and would change their behavior accordingly. It’s just unfortunate that didn’t happen.

Take comfort in the fact that you did the right thing.

12

Actually, both of **Brynda’**s sisters visited her mom yesterday, as well as the grandson and SIL.

13

Ok, fair is fair. My sister who is here visiting spent a good amount of time with my mom today. My mom is sort of withdrawn most of the time, but I think she really appreciated it. I was there part of the time and we talked about the kind of things that I know mom likes–the doll clothes she made for us, the things we did as kids.

So maybe I am not so bonkers after all. :stuck_out_tongue:

Thanks for all of the supportive replies. In trying to do the best for my mom, I can get pretty frustrated.