I’m the father of three pre-teen daughters, and at lights out, they often demand a bedtime story. Usually it’s just a ploy to delay bedtime a little more, but I’ll generally indulge them. A few nights ago, I was at a loss. I’d recently done all the wolf stories, witch stories, each of their birth stories (those are always popular). So since we had just been discussing dirty hippies and why I hate them so, I decided to turn the Futurama episode “The Problem with Popplers” into a bedtime story, casting the hippie as the villain. Huge hit. The 4 year old laughed with glee when Lrrr ate the hippie. So I’ve been working through a few more episodes since then - I’ve done “Fear of a Bot Planet”, “I Roommate”, and “A Fishful of Dollars”. All of them have gone over well. The 9 year old has figured out I’m just retelling Futurama episodes - the girl with purple hair and one eye was a giveaway - but she still listens in. I’m having a tough time figuring out what story to tell next - not a lot of them translate well to kids bedtime stories. Maybe “My Three Suns” or “Crimes of the Hot”.
Anyone else turn a non-kid oriented TV show into bedtime stories?
I might suggest avoiding the Futurama episode with the gigantic amazonian women…you don’t want to have to explain what “death by snu-snu” means to a 4-year-old.
That’s the sweetest form of plagiarism I’ve ever heard.
I always thought the My Three Suns had a fable feel to it, particularly at the end: Fry survives because his friends help him out and he learns a lesson, and there’s something about crying the emperor out that would be very adaptable. Maybe leave out the part where Bender burns Fry with a cigar. Otherwise it’s perfect.
Depending on what your daughters are like, the first Robot Santa story might work. Or else it could be horribly traumatic, but, you know, it’s all good. Maybe Three Hundred Big Boys would be okay.
I’d avoid Jurassic Bark too – though a sadistic parent could really score by adding it to a program including Old Yeller, * Charlotte’s Web* and The Yearling.
Once upon a time there was this totally awesome robot named Bender He was the coolest robot there ever was. There also were these meat bags or whatever. You chumps got any beer? Any way… Bender and the meat bags went to a planet or whatever, and the meat bags got into mortal danger or something. I made ou… I mean the awesome Bender made out with a hot robot chick and got some loot. The meat bags survived or died or something. Why are you chumpettes still here? Bite my shiny metal ass!
Nurse Ratchet: Now, he’s very high strung, so don’t say anything to surprise him. (Fry enters the tiny room with Eddie)
Eddie: P-p-pleased to meet you.
Fry: Actually, we’ve met before.
Eddie: WHAT?!?!!!?!?! (instant explosion)
Are you kidding?
Snu snu is Kissing… the kiddie ick factor and the silliness of being kissed to death will make this a hit. They’ll love teh boys getting their comeuppance! Especially the idea of boys making fun of girls getting pummeled by big clubs…
“Ho Ho Ho stop you’re killing me” WHACK “AHH !! Stop! You’re Killing me!”
Depending on the faith of your household “Godfellas” would be a good moral story as well. And if God doesn’t fly, make it some all knowing wise-man (or yourself) or something.
Luck of the Fryish would be a great one if you make one of the girls Fry, and the other His brother, make it about love’n’such.
Parasites Lost would work as well. And the Sting. And Devil’s Hands, which was already mentioned. (Basically, any of the episodes that are meant as Fry-Leela romance plots make great bedtime stories).
For what it’s worth, our five year old has seen every single episode, and still seems pretty well adjusted. Sex, violence, evil Santa - no problem. The worst thing was Bender introducing her to the idea of smoking, honestly.
Nibbler is a favorite. And I think you re-telling the story of the brains who left Earth for no raisin would be a lot of laughs from the older girls who can read.
Last night’s story was the intestinal worms episode. That went over quite well. Worms that live inside your butt is great humor for youngsters. I’m sure Nibbler’s dark matter poop will be a hit as well. I did somehow call the holophonor the visi-sonor, perhaps because I’m reading some Asimov at the moment.
Since it was just on last night, I think tonight will be “My Three Suns”. Nice twist at the end - instead of making Fry cry by telling him sad things, they just beat him mercilessly. And I think I will include the cigar - burning someone’s butt should be good for a laugh.
I’m not terribly worried about the morals of the stories as I go - after all I started out with the good guys eating babies, and ending with a human being eaten by a monster. It’s more the complexity and interest to kids that’s pushing a lot of them off the list - anything with time travel is out, Bender should not be allowed on TV is out, things like that.
I’ve got 3 daughters, and you want me to make a story with 2 of them as the main characters? No kids, huh?
A Big Piece of Garbage would make a very Dr. Seussy moral tale. And what about Fry and the Slurm Factory?