answer: I don’t have any children, but the worst physical punishment I ever received was once, when I wasn’t doing whatever it was I was supposed to be doing, my mother lifted me up and out of my chair and onto my feet, by my ponytail. Ow.
ask: What’s the most demeaning thing you’ve ever done for money?
answer: Cleaned up all kinds of poopies and messed up bathrooms. It really wasn’t anyone’s job specifically, but I was the only one with the work ethic and tolerance for things disgusting to get the job done. Seriously, the places people poop in a department store…
ask: Have you ever pooped somewhere you shouldn’t have? (pants excluded if they were yours)
The front seat of my car.
What other embarrassing thing have you done in the front seat of your car?
answer: this isn’t terribly embarrassing, but once I was driving, and wearing a pullover sweater over another shirt. I was hot, so when I got where I was going, I tried taking the sweater off. I was still buckled, and somehow got sweater/shirt/seatbelt/my arms/my head into a hopeless tangle that required assistance from my passenger, who wasn’t actually much help, since she was laughing so hard she was crying and shaking.
ask: When’s the last time you were dishonest?
Answer: I was recently investigating an illegal apartment. In person, the law requires me to identify myself, my role, and to inform the owner that they have the right to refuse entry. On the phone, I can pretend to be interested in the apartment, and ask all sorts of questions about it. That strengthens my case when I show up in person.
Not so much dishonest as not entirely forthcoming.
Ask: When were you happy to see someone suffer or fail who was once, or still, important to you?
answer: whenever I hear of anything bad that’s happened to a particular abusive ex-boyfriend
ask: what’s the longest grudge you’ve held?
Unknown. I’m part Italian, so it’s mainly determined by life expectancy.
What was your longest detour (time or distance - poster’s choice)
Answer: I went from Caracas to Rio de Janeiro via Ecuador to visit my sister in Quito.
Ask: Any secret tattoos or piercings?
Answer: I have no tattoos or piercings.
Ask: have you ever cheated on exams or commited plagiarism in high school or college?
Ayup.
In high school Spanish. I brought in a really small Spanish/English dictionary with conguations in it. I thought I was being smooth by putting it between my legs. The teacher knew right away. She stared me down for a few minutes and I pretended I was thinking of an answer and didn’t move. When she turned away, I hid the book, which I realized afterwards was exactly why she turned away.
She came over, got the book, gave me a zero on the test. Then she let me take it over and would average the scores, which I thought more than fair, considering alternatives.
Describe a time you could have lost your virginity, and chose not to.
Answer: When I was 11 my 17 y/o neighbour used to like hanging out with me. Yeah… I was a very early developer, physically. I did have a rather different idea of hanging out. Anyway, I was in his bedroom, we were supposed to play chess.
Thankfully he never touched me, just asked me to touch him. I ran. Ran as fast as I could, all the way home. 
Ask: what’s the worst thing you’ve ever done for money?
So many different possibilities, but different criteria. Practiced law and helped get scumbags off. Helped operate a porno theater. Helped bring in business for a shady contracting outfit. I’d better stop there.
What is your most beautiful memory?
answer: Lying on deck of my grandfather’s boat on Lake Ontario, staring at the stars, watching a meteor shower, while listening to the BlueJays on the AM radio.
ask: What should I make for dinner tonight?
Nice, we are going to need more questions like this since I am getting the sense that we are running out of ideas. So now you can basically ask any mundane question you want.
Answer: make ramen noodles, and if you want a challenge, make it vegetarian. 
Ask: what is the most number of times you have masturbated in a day?
A: Probably around ten times or so. Couldn’t stand straight for the better part of a week afterwards. I was a hard hitter in my youth.
Q: What’s the most emotionally demanding physical work you’ve ever had to do?
answer: That’s an odd question, but, I am a volunteer first responder. I had to treat a man who had punctured his guts while mountain biking. I’m usually fine with trauma, but he was going into shock, and his young son who had been riding with him, was there looking on.
ask: Have you ever had a “Fuck you! I quit” moment?
If it’s okay I’ll hog this one.
A: I’d been having a lot of problem at work, as a bartender. Too few hours, too much responsibility in relation to pay, exploiting of students/immigrants etc. I booked a band a few months before I knew I’d quit, was invited on stage by the band for drums for the last song, some say the devil is dead, then went straight from the stage, ordered a beer from my boss, took a swig and told him I’d raher clean toilets at a camp-site than serve another beer at that place.
Q: Whats the weirdest moment you’ve had with public transportation?
answer: One year for Hallowe’en, I went to a party as the dog from Daft Punk’s video “Da Funk”. I had a cast, a crutch, a boom-box, and I’d even made a 90 minute mix tape of that song on repeat - it was a real multisensory costume. Anyway, come the end of the night, I was kicked off the bus because my radio was playing - just like in the video. Life really imitates art.
ask: Would you rather lose an arm (at mid-humerus) or a leg (at mid-thigh)?
I’d rather lose a leg than an arm. I use my arms too much, especially for my hobby of cooking.
Do you suck up at work?
answer: No, I don’t. Never have and never will. And I’ve resigned myself to the reality that I will never advance further in the company because of my refusal to play stupid games. Sorry, sore subject.
ask: Do you believe people have souls?