Al Bundy, because Archie has had over 40 years of being a bigot and he has that I’ve had all the fight beaten out of me look, while Al still has a lot of pent up age that would fatally explode.
“The Relentless Pursuit of Perfection” vs “The Ultimate Driving Machine”
I think the UDM would win Because the RPof P sounds like they have not achived perfection yet. While the UDM is at the zenith.
(luxury status symbols ecch)
okay…
Rambo vs. Rocky
Rambo hands down. He “operated million dollar pieces of equipment” while Rocky trained with heavy rocks.
Richard Simmons vs. a moth
THe moth would crush him. The moth has gotta be at least 2 times the weight of poor little Richard. With one foul swoop, and teeth chompin, he’d tear that aerobic nut apart.
Backstreet boys vs. Gwar
Well GWAR would start off waving their foam axes and giant penii around, squirting fake blood, and making godawful noises.
When all of a sudden all the Backstreet boys screaming girlie fans run up and start thwacking GWAR with their schoolbags and barbie dolls.
Then blokey out of GWAR would point out how much damage he can do with a single anal expulsion since he got shot up the arse while hiding in the trunk of a car (and being from Mars bullets can’t hurt him, unless they hit his one weak spot - whooops).
All the screaming girlis would stand around with their hands over their noses saying “Ewwww” and making exaggerated hand flapping gestures.
In the meantime, the Backstreet boys would all run away, pefectly chorriographed cowardise, the parents in their stupidly big cars would come and pick up all the girlies, and GWAR would be left standing on their own with various fake body parts strewn around. At which point they would declare themselves the winners and get very pished. RAR!
Paper mache vs Playdough
Paper mache.
Has a kind of classical, etherial quality…playdoh just crumbles and turns into crud.
John Bonham vs Keith Moon
Keith Moon. Hell, he took horse tranquilizers and STILL finished the concert.
Molly Ringwald vs “That Girl”
“That Girl” – she’d impale Molly Ringwald on the prongs of her upflip.
Miss Piggy or Babe?
If “That Girl” is who I think it is, namely, Marlo Thomas, then I’d have to say Molly Ringwald, simply because she had to be able to fend off the affections of Mr. Nostril Flare himself, Judd Nelson.
wood bats vs aluminum bats
Aluminum bats.
Wood splinters and burns…sure dosen’t stand up to engaging in battle with lava monsters.
The Flying Guillotine vs Iron Skin Technique
Humph. I guess not enough people remember
Kung-Fu Theater .
How 'bout
Andy Sipowicz (NYPDBlue) vs Lenny Briscoe (Law&Order)
Lets see…
Both middle aged New York Cops,
Both recovering Alcoholics,
Both lost a child to violence.
Andy; he’d beat Lenny over the head with all his Emmys.
Rhino or '57 Chevy?
The '57 Chevy, simply because Rhinos have horrible eyesight.
Chevy Camaro vs Pontiac Firebird/Trans Am
Miss Piggy or Babe?
Miss Piggy, she’d tie Babe up and make the moves on him till he …ahem… squeeled
Chevy Camaro vs Pontiac Firebird/Trans Am?
The trans Am. I had a friend who had one in high school. He totalled it, flipping it while drag racing, but the sucker still drove. The steering wheel fell off, so he put some vice grips on the bolt and drove it that way. Trans Ams are tough mofos.
**The Flying Guillotine vs Iron Skin Technique? **
I have no Idea what these are, but a flying guillotine sounds pretty bad. So I’ll say that one.
The Terminator vs. Jesus?
Does this thread make anyone spit milk? The old person smell! ROFLMAO.
Almost a draw, but then Jesus changes the setting to a factory in
overtime! Boom, with the drill press machine, crush! Goes the T-1000, and it’s JESUS IN THE AFTER INNINGS. Whoo! He’s Number One! The Father and the Son! Never bet agaist the best because he always gets it done!
“That Burning, Tingling, Feeling” vs. “That not so Fresh Feeling”
“That not so Fresh Feeling” would win by sheer gross-out power.
A Playstation 2 vs. the California Raisins
the California Raisins because of their ability to sing harmony – and their fancy footwork would leave the Playstation in the dust.
LLBean vs. Lands’ End
Now that Land’s End has the power of Sears AND Roebuck, LL Bean doesn’t stand a chance.
Mr. Moose (Capt. Kanagaroo) vs Bullwinkle
Bullwinkle is in constant battle with Boris and Natasha.
Evil, connyving Soviet spies ready to corrupt and destroy everything pure and good and right in the ol’ U.S. of A.
Mr. Moose dosen’t have any arms or legs.
Flawless victory for Bullwinkle.
:o vs 
:o just doesn’t have wat it takes to drop is all that, like the Rock. " Can you smellllllll what is cooking!"
The American Gladiators vs. The New York Giants special teams.:o