I’ll volunteer as keyboard player/backup singer/groupie spankin’ hussie.
Oh, by the way… I got some last night… and it was fantastic!
[sub]In order for that to be classified as a nookie story do I have to share details??[/sub]
Oooh! Do you need another backup singer? I’ve been told that I can carry a fairly decent tune. And I’m willing to try to take on any other jobs you may have in mind for me. I’m not lazy!!!
Oh! TruePisces and I can be the bisexual backup singers that dance eroticly with each other and drive the groupies wild. Of course, we also dance that way at every opportunity with the yummy Alpha tator and mags the Diva, driving men and women across the globe into a frenzy of unrequited lust.
Can I be a roadie? I’ll be the chick that no one would ever actually believe was a roadie, because I’m little. I’ll dazzle the guys with my brute strength, and make them weak with lust and worship. 
Oh yeah!!! That’s the job for me! Can’t think of anything better than to dance erotically, night after night, with Arden Ranger with forays to tator and mags the Diva, and an occassional groupie on the side for a change of pace.
I think I can handle it!
Just checkin’ in to make sure everyone is behaving. Keeping a lookout for overzealous groupies!
Hey, Evilbeth, don’t bounce me, I applied for my groupie bit legitimately.
What flavor massage oil, Soda?
I demand to be a groupie for tater. I’ll backstab all the rest of you whores, claw out your eyes, and do whatever it takes to get the job. And tater, if elected I promise to do all the dirty jobs you rock stars are too cool to deal with, like washing your sweat-stained t-shirts (by hand), scoring drugs in new towns, and answering fan mail. I’ll even write songs for you and take no credit when you get to strung out and/or bored with fame to bother anymore. I’ll only tell the tabloids juicy stories approved by you. Then you can dedicate a love song to me one night on stage - of course, you won’t come out and say it’s for me, but we’ll both know. And I was actually in a band once myself, so I know all the groupie etiquette (I learned from watching cooler bands who actually had groupies). Come on! You know it’s the right thing to do. You don’t want one of these other little boys with their potty humor - you deserve a MAN. And damn if I ain’t the next best thing.
Also, I’m not that bright, so you could easily take advantage of me at every opportunity. See how I misspelled “too” in my last post? My point exactly!
Can I be in charge of wardrobe? I’ll find everyone fuzzy pink boas, and leopard skinned pants, and cute little halters that make all the groupies drool. I’ll make everyone look perty. And in my off time, I can amuse the gang with my nookie stories. Possibly even the one that involves the word nookie! Actually, it’s not all that great of a story. But it was funny at the time!
Just so everyone knows, I’m not going to be actually onstage myself, I’m going to be the Svengali, pulling all the strings in the background. Oooh, the power!
Here’s a question: What sort of music shall we play? I’m thinking we’d make a kick-ass cover band, but if you want to write your own songs, that would be okay, too. Suggestions?
Woody, thanks for your kind offer but I’m not sure if us Svengalis are entitled to groupies or not. Does anyone know?
And sorry I didn’t come up with a good nookie story last night. I was too busy yakking with Shayna about how I qualified to be research material for Cecil’s column on Psychic Orgasms. Sniff. I didn’t know the nipple ones counted! I thought they had to come completely out of the blue.
[saving the lagging thread] Okay, after much diliberation, my nookie story! Well, my story that involves the word nookie. Same deal. So about a year ago, Scott and I were at this little chinese restaurant at like 1 in the morning. It was the only place open still. So Scott takes out his wallet to pay, and I remembered that he owed me money for something. It was only like 5 bucks, but still. I mentioned it to him, and he didn’t remember that he owed me anything. We went back and forth for a while, and then the chinese guy working cuts in. “You better pay the girl, or you won’t get no nookie!!”
It was just the randomest thing in the world. We laughed about it for months after. (And, for the record, he did get his nookie But I’m saving that for the next story time!) Tata ladies! [/saving the lagging thread]
All the smart svengalis get groupies. If they’re really good, they’ll manage a band with a different sexual orientation than themselves, thus maximizing their chances at scoring (Britney Spears’ male manager, The Beatles with Brian Epstein, etc.). And hey, I don’t need some flaky musician anyway - I’ll take the person pulling the strings. And I pour a mean bubble bath.
tatertot, Svengalis definitely get groupies, and I think woodstockbirdybird would be an excellent addition to our harem.
Oh, and I’m thinking we should be a cover band as well. I really must work on being more difficult.
Pammipoo, thanks for sharing the nookie story. Anyone else want to share? Don’t make me drag out “tater’s ill-advised teenage orgy at her parents house - while they were home” story. It’s really not as interesting as one might think.
Okay, now that I found out that SvengaliTot is entitled to groupies, I must insist that I get my own private Canadian groupie. Gotta get me some of that Canookie before I die, it’s one of my life-long goals. Woody, you wouldn’t happen to be Canadian would you?
Mags, I was meaning to talk to you about this distressing laid back attitude you’ve been sporting lately. Can’t you pick on one of the other girls or something? Maybe give a back-stabbing interview to InternetLegend.
And what songs should we play? My vote is for all Carpenters!
Here! Canadian volunteering! Ooooo! Oooo! pickmepickmepickme! I’ve groupie-d before… love that Band tab in the classier dives. I’d be thrilled to bits to be the token Canookie for SvengaliTot.
Ummm, yeah, sure, I’m Canadian. That’s not why they call me a “mountie”, though.
Thanks for the encouragement, mag. I checked out the people pages updates and I just want to say: you’re dreamy. Maybe tater will allow me to be passed around among the rest of you (unless she decides I’m not Canadian enough).
Oh, and Carpenters covers are good, but you should definitely encore with something different - “These Boots Were Made For Walking” would be cool, and maybe a punk version of “I Am Woman.”
I’ll sing. I can do lead or backup, whichever.
But I refuse to wear leopard skin pants. I draw the line at platform shoes.
Canookie volunteering to be a groupie…err band aid…
Keith
So where’s the first stop on the tour?