Join My Gang Of Wimmins!

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
1

Yup, I got me a gang of wimmins and we’re looking for new recruits.

We’re equal part girly-girls and totally ass-kicking bitches. We’re not afraid to giggle and show our silly sides, but when the need arises, we can be viscious.

Our current plans include starting a Pub Band in Dublin, moving to a cool chick pad in Prague and world domination.

In the meantime, we giggle and share our angst and talk about nookie an awful lot. Men fear us, other women want to be us.

The ideal applicant will have a good sense of humor, lots of interesting nookie stories to share, and a gift for giving people nicknames. All we require is a short explanation of why you want to join the gang of wimmins, what you can bring to the group, and if you can play any musical instruments (for the pub band).

No men allowed! :smiley:

2

Good luck setting up that Pub Band sound gear then. :wink:

3

I have revised the list of goals, top of our list is now make our way to A’dam and beat up Cheesy Poof. Heck, I could probably do it with one hand tied behind my back. I’m not afraid to fight dirty, you know. :wink:

4

::farts in the general direction of Coldfire::

I’m fairly tame now but I used to be a Wild Woman. I am totally unable to play any musical instruments but I can dance. Topless if necessary.

My life is shrinking to a pinpoint of children and study and I need stimulation. A sense that yes, soemwhere out there life continues.

Besides all that my MIL just announced she is coming to stay for a month and I think I am gonna have to suicide.

I’ve got some nice nicknames for her :wink:

5

Is there a position open for Official Protector?

6

There was but I have it filled. I get to be the Official Bouncer. We don’t need males to protect us–we can do that ourselves. We’re tougher than you give us credit for, you know. We have a girlie side but this gang of wimmins is not the sort to have to rely on men for comforts, conveniences, reassurances and most assuredly, protection.

And Coldie, let me advise you that it may not be in your best interest to attend the premier of the Pub Band–it could be difficult for you to sit with drumsticks protruding from your ass.

7

Naah, we just want them for sex… :smiley: And then we talk about them.
Seriously, I want to join. I can’t play any instruments (well, the triangle maybe) and I can’t really sing, but that hasn’t stopped me yet. I’ll bring some Swedish fish and nookie stories like you wouldn’t believe…

8

Oh yes, we do want them for sex. That’s very important!

9

So you need groupies then. And a few studly masseuses.

Want me to organise some for you? I’d make the perfect manager - I’d only work through the phone or net so you’d not have to put with leering or the like from me.

10

I don’t have a penis. Is that close enough?

11

OOOOH! I may not know how to play an instrument, but I can do that. Sound gear is simple- it’s the instruments that are tough…and singing on key(not that I don’t do that whenever I feel like it, no matter how bad it sounds).

Nookie stories-well, not so many of those lately. sigh But maybe soon…I’d like to get some just to have some.

12

I could blend in nicely.
first of all my favourite song is “independant wimmen”

Question: Tell me what you think about me
I buy my own diamonds and I buy my own rings
Only ring your cell-y when I’m feelin lonely
When it’s all over please get up and leave
Question: Tell me how you feel about this
Try to control me boy you get dismissed
Pay my own fun, oh and I pay my own bills
Always 50/50 in relationships

I cant play any instruments, but I play a mean game of pool and have plenty of nookie stories to share.

And my domination skills are legendary :smiley:

How’s that for a resume? :wink:

13

I’m really hoping you meant “masseurs”. [sub]In which case, let me just check my calendar to see if I’m free…[/sub]

Nice to see you in better spirits, taterbabe. :wink:

14

You obviously aren’t familiar with my sense of humour (nor my whimsical application of the English language). But I can book you in with The Wimmens if you have the qualifications…
hugs to tater btw cos we’ve missed her

15

Sense of humor - most definitely. I crack me up regularly.
Interesting nookie storied - hmmm, do they hafta be about me or just stories?
Nicknames - I mostly refer to people as “Sweetie” or “Sunshine” - saves the strain of remembering real names.
Why do I want to join? Well, Mom wouldn’t let me join the Girl Scouts, and since I’ve been out of the Navy, I’ve had this yearnin’ to belong to something. This sounds pretty good.
What I bring - the wisdom of years, the giddiness of youth, the recklessness of adolescence, and a booming voice of authority - I can sound REAL MEAN if I hafta…
Musical instruments - accordion (I’m so ashamed), acoustic guitar, soprano recorder, and a fair-to-middlin’ singing voice.
Geez, am I REALLY as dull as that sounded??

16

Qualifications as masseur…hmmm, lessee…

I have been reliably told that I give excellent backrubs, I’ve never picked up the knack of leering, and I’m not unattractive. I’m not currently available for gratuitous sex (the wife might object), but I’m hoping that won’t count against me (and anyhow, they’ll have the groupies for that). And, in a pinch, I can move heavy sound equipment.

When do I start?

17

Hey! How come I’m always the last to know about these things?

I will have to reconsider my membership.

:smiley:

18

Globey, you may not reconsider your membership! We’re like the Mafia, only one way out. Okay, two if you count sex-change operations. :wink:

Euty, Bethie is right, we don’t need no stinkin’ protectors! Yeah, there might be men who are bigger than us, stronger than us, but I’ve yet to meet the man who can outscheme us.

Primaflora, I’ve got the exact same problem. And none of the other mommies around here are any fun, esp. now that I’ve been blacklisted. Looooonnnngggg story that. We can compare playground war stories and talk about the other mommies behind their backs, the judgemental sows. :smiley:

Soda, now we’re talking! You’re gonna tell us all about the Swedish nookie, aren’t you?

Oh, and sorry I’m so nookie obsessed. As a newly separated tot, I ain’t getting any, but I’m planning too as soon as I’m decently able.

dpr, you’re in charge of arranging groupies for the Australian leg of the tour. Um, you couldn’t arrange for Russell Crowe to meet us at the airport could you? :wink:

Vince, sorry being a woman is NOT about the lack of a penis. Grow some ovaries and check back with us, kay?

eirroc, we could use a good dominatrix. Nothing we like hearing about more than some guy being dominated.

jr8, thanks to the gang of wimmins, even when I’m miserable, I’m in great spirits. That’s why I want to share this experience with all the girls of the SDMB.

FCM, as long as they’re funny it doesn’t matter if the nookie really happened to you or not. Also, there is always the speculating about who is good or not at the nookie, which anyone could participate in.

This isn’t related to anything, but you know, I think I’ve used the word “nookie” more times this week than I have the rest of my life combined. Something about being newly single…:wink:

19

Lsura, sorry I forgot you, all these men crowding our thread has made it difficult.

And don’t worry about the nookie, I’ve been married for the last five years and I don’t have any good stories to share either! We’ll just go on and get you a WBoCN (acronym to be explained at the private gang of wimmins meeting), I’ve got an excellent source. :wink:

20

Oooh, me, please!
I have a wicked sense of humor, one semi-interesting nookie story (about me…I have more stories about other people, though) and I can give people nicknames, if pressed.
I can play the piano. I can sing a little, too, though my repertoire consists of “kid” songs…“Clean up, clean up, everybody do your share…” and “Circle time, circle time, come to circle, now it’s time…”
As a teacher, I am able to settle disputes, divide snacks fairly, and come up with some creative craft ideas. I can also give “time-outs” to those in need of a time-out.
Can I join?