Sense of humor: It’s purely subjective, but I believe I have a fabulous sense of humor. This guy walks into a bar with a parrot…
Nookie stories: yes, I have a few dozen, mine and others.
Nicknames: well, in my circle of acquaintances we have Dogboy, the Colonel, Jaw Girl, Charlie-Brown Head, Pagan Bob, Pizza Guy, Beige Man, Bro, Yoko, Guy with the stupid facial hair, The one I call Red, and the Council of Nerds in it’s entirety.
I can play French horn and doumbek, which are not good pub band instruments. I can play bass guitar almost as well as Adam Clayton, though.
Why do I want to join? It sounds fun, and I can wear a t-shirt that says I’m in the Gang of Wimmins. That makes it all worth it!
I would like to join the gang of wimmins! I have a great sense of humor, even though I can’t tell a joke without cutting and pasting. I have a few nookie stories from my wild and woolly younger days. And I can sing a little, and play the harmonica a little, and the kazoo, and the Jew’s harp, and the tambourine.
Hey I would be willing to work with DPR to coordinate the Canadian part of the tour, rumour has it that one of members in the band finds Canadians exotic…
Only provide nookie story material for any and all Wimmins in the group. It is MUCH more fun to compare notes about the same nookie, and would be a great project for all of you to do me, kinda a bonding thing, or a bondage thing, if you prefer. I am woefully available, a fine specimen of physical manhood (check sig link), and willing to fill in the nookie-less gaps in the members experiences. If two or three want to do me at the same time, that would make for even better nookie stories, doncha think? No need to thank me, I’m just a giving kind of guy. The line forms at the left.
::waiting, expectantly, waiting::
I want to join the gang of wimmins so I can use my kickboxing skills to kick a little ass on any of the men who try to worm their way through the doors! Nicknames will be distributed along with each ass kicking.
Also, I play the piano, I dance, and I have lots of nookie stories to share! I was quite the wild woman before I had kids… what the hell am I saying! I’m still a wild woman. Kids haven’t changed me that much.
Since when is it YOUR gang of wimmins, ay? Well, when my solo career takes off, you’ll have to look elsewhere stories of nookie near-nookie and general angst.
(that was my audition for the role of Ginger Tot)
Plus, the first rule of the gang of wimmins is “don’t talk about the gang of wimmins, you’ll frighten away all the good Sugar Daddies.”
I have a pink (mauve) sofa.
I have ruffly, pink curtains.
My hallway and dining room carpet is called “Raspberry Cream”.
I love kitties, and flowers, and perfume.
I like to curl my hair and wear fru-fru clothes.
I paint my toenails.
My ass-kickin side -
I can burp at will.
I know karate and hurt grown men.
I love fart, weinie, and poop jokes.
I LOVE farts! The louder, the better!
I cuss like a sailor.
I like it when my feet stink.
I prefer sweaty, back-scratchin’, wild sex that makes you yell out in ancient languages as opposed to the soft, gentle romantic stuff.
Well? Can I join or would you like references?
I don’t play any instruments. But I don’t flinch at lifting gear. I’ll be a roadie for the band. Is that okay?
I’ve got a rather massive collection of nail polish, and I’ve also got a pedicure kit.
I’ve birthed three babies without benefit of pain medication, so you know I’m tough. And the two babies that live with me are toddlers, so there’s really nothing that shocks me anymore.
I’m not good with nicknames, but I’ve got no qualms about looking a jerkoff in the eye and calling him a jerkoff.
Oh, and I also have red hair. That’s gotta count for something!
I have always wanted to part of a gang of wimmins! I can be funny with a sarcastic twist and kicking a little tail could be a good thing! I can’t carry a tune in a bucket but I have a guitar and I’ll threaten to play it if we need to scare away any of the men folk.
I would like to apply but after the show I just put on for manhattan in the Slave Auction (where I STILL misspelled his name three meore times! Damn painkillers) I’m not sure I qualify.
But I play the flute and guitar and have a fairly nice singing voice, own several swords and daggers for ass kicking-which is the only time I don’t get upset about breaking a nail.
I want to join the gang of wimmins so that I can belong to something larger then myself.
If you let me join your gang I promise to be a follower. I will blindly do what ever the rest of the group does even if I know it is wrong. If everyone jumps off a bridge then I will too.
I don’t play an instrument and I can’t sing. I do carry around the words to hundreds of songs in my head so maybe I can be helpful selecting the music.
I can make wonderful Pina Coladas from scratch. I also own an assortment of fun drinking glasses that I would be glad to share.
I have a sense of humor, it careens from nasty to wicked to silly, sometimes all three at once. Careening works that way.
I’ve got interesting nookie stories. Some are even mine.
I can sing pretty damn well.
I’m generally a good, useful person to have around.
As to why I want to join - being part of a group of wild women has always been a dream of mine… please let me in?
I may not be wild. I can’t kick ass. I can’t sing well and I don’t play a musical instrument. I’m usually quite mild, BUT there is a wild, kinky and wicked side of me just waiting to run amok. And if you don’t mind female massuers, I give a damn good back and foot rub. One more thing, I get along well with most people, drive stick shifts and am not afraid to drive most vehicles. And once you get to know me, my sense of humor shows up.
I’m here. And since you’ve begged so nicely, of course I’ll join your Gang O Wild Wimmins ™
My qualifications.
I’m an honest to God Registered Nurse. I have an extensive knowlege of the human anatomy and you wouldn’t believe how often that comes in handy in when you need to tortu… I mean persuade someone, extort money, or hide things. I can also take Doctor’s orders, dispense medications or administer first aid if needed.
I’m so witty, funny and clever that most people just don’t get it.
I’ve been having sex on a regular basis for over a quarter of a century so you could definitely say I’ve got some nookie stories. If you insist, I can instruct you all on how to swallow without tasting or tell you about the sexual maneuver that that was so outrageous that it landed me in the hospital claiming it was a “sports injury”. ;)Also my daughter can get a group discount at an “Adult novelties” store where she used to work. It really came in handy when it came to stocking my own “goody box” which is really a misnomer 'cause it actually takes up half a closet, but I digress.
I’m not very good at nicknames but I have,on occasion, been known to call someone a cunning stunt or was that a stunning …
I’m sorry but my love of music disqualifies me from ever trying to participate in the making of same. I can’t sing–but I know all the words and I can’t play an instrument but I can tell you if you’re doing it wrong. And believe me I will.
OOOOOO! OOOOOO! tatertot honeybunches! I want a position (heh!) Top or bottom, doesn’t matter to me!
Nookie…lessee…yes, I can definitely do nookie! I’m one big nookie story generator!
