$5 Million Dead or Alive. I’m sure we could put it good use around here…maybe we could have the mother of all dopefests.
Who’s with me?
Since Aunt Flo is visiting, I’d like to take the role of a torturer. Maybe in a few days I’ll take over as trail-mix-mixer/llama herder/parachute packer, but right now I feel adequately equipped to inflict pain on others.
What would you want to do if we were a band of thugs hunting OBL down for cold, hard cash?
Can I be the brilliant but stays-at-home-out-of-harms way computer programmer/cracker who supplies technical support for the operation? And, preferably, one of the new types of brilliant but SAHOOHW types, who mysteriously gets the girl, rather than one of the old SAHOOHW types, who were used only for comic relief. I mean, if that’s not asking for too much.
Can I be the Communications person? I mean, I do work for a telco, after all…that means free long-distance if I call from work. “Yes sir, the tech support centre for that application IS in Saudi Arabia.”
I’ll do computer support only as a last resort, and only if I get to be the Bitch Operator from the North.
“Helldesk, what d’YOU want, and why should I give it to you?”
Hmmmmm, further thought, can I be an Apprentice Questioner instead? 8 years in tech support has given me the necessary callousness and a LOT of imagination.
On preview, I see bashere actually WANTS to do tech support, so can I be an Apprentice Questioner? Can I, can I can I hunh hunh hunh?
Pretty please? I look good in black leather, honest…and I already have an eight-foot bullwhip…
Oh, doesn’t much matter to me. I’m easy. I’m famous for that. Actually, saying “I’m part of an elite band of thugs hunting down terrorists” would probably be a great pickup line.
Oh, and so we’re clear here, I’m also insisting on the right to wear leather pants and wife-beaters. This is the new breed of SAHOOHW geek we’re talking about.
Come on, tisiphone, this is technical specialist for an elite team of highly trained mercenaries. None of that “I assure you there is ‘Q’ on your keyboard, sir*” stuff; it’ll be “sure, I can crack 1024bit PGP encryption by punching random keys on my keyboard” kind of stuff.
*the single thing that I most loved saying while on a call in my days in tech support.
Wrap all the guys from Predator into one, and you got me. Minus the guns. I’m the psychopath who can do anything in the jungle using nothing more than camoflage clothing, black face paint, night-vision goggles, my broadsword and several dozen knives. I make great recon, assassination, or simple havoc wreaking in forested or mountainous areas.
I’m not the sort who would be effective at the track’em down and hurt 'em part. But I’ll be the one who puts together care package’s for those in the field. Packages with homemade cookies and jam, new socks and underpants, letters of support, cocoa, and what not.