Having been inspired by http://www.eviloverlord.com, I have decided to fire up the SDMB Self Righteous Clique yet again. We all had so much fun the last time, and now that I am more seasoned, I think I will make a good evil overlord. I have deposed Konrad, and assumed power myself.
I have also gotten rid of my previous cabinet, no hard feelings, and I am now accepting applications for various positions in my Legion of Doom. Some positions have already been filled, but I shall list them as an announcement of their occupancy.
The positions are as follows, all salaries are DOE:
Lackey- This person must be of VERY limited intelligence, as I will test many codes and plans on them, and if they can foil them, then I will not use those things. Must be a total sycophant, and short. No midgets, please. Not that there’s anything wrong with midgets, mind you, but I don’t want to rip anyone off. Sorry.
Number One- Sorry, ladies, I am looking for a fellow man to fill this position, but I will consider a woman if I can find one nasty, mean, conniving, sneaky, underhanded, loyal and just plain dirty enough to… what am I thinking? I am looking for a woman to fill this position!
El Presidente Numero Uno- A figurehead, must be slick and good at political nonspeak. Chevy Chase in Fletch comes to mind, if this is you, then this is the job for you.
Slick Lawyer- Sorry folks, this is the only spot whose occupant did not get fired. Assuming COLDFIRE wants to keep the job, it won’t be up for grabs.
Sexy, busty, alluring assasins- Let’s face it, an evil overlord can never have too many of these, so I will have as many sexy, busty, alluring, evil, man-hating assasins as possible. Must be female.
Sexy, busty, alluring, innocent looking secret agents- Once again, no Legion of Doom is complete without a healthy smattering of these ball-bustin’, glass-ceiling shattering, high tone bitches who make James Bond look like Homer Simpson. Serious applicants only, as this is a more demanding position than even the sexy busty alluring assasin. Must be female.
Sergeant Quake- Someone has to command my Hordes of Terror, right? This guy (has to be a guy, sorry ladies) must be able to bark out orders like Tommy Lee Jones and talk shit like Samuel L. Jackson. Basically he needs to be G.I. toilet paper: Rough, tough, and don’t take shit off no one.
Shock Troopers for Hordes of Terror- Can never have enough of these. But, as there are only so many regs in MPSIMS, I will have to settle for one or two, possibly three to represent all 3.5 million of my Shock Troopers, which were kept on hand and are very disgruntled as they did not get to go on the Guy Stuff Shuttle.
Slick, suave, debonair, lady-killing, clever-quipping, secret agent- Like the Highlander, there can be only one. Ian Fleming will roll over in his grave if we try to make more than that. Must be chock full of cheesy one liners, clever quips, and never at a loss for words. Arrogant, but in an adorable, lady-killing way. I nominate WallyM7. Do I hear a second? <second!> Good, motion has been seconded, let’s vote on it, all in favor? <Aye, Aye, Aye, Aye!> Very well, opposed? N-BANG! Motion carries, WallyM7 has the job by acclamation, he has only to accept it.
Ninja Assasin(s)- This position was very popular last time, so I am anticipating that there may be a huge response. If there is not, I will take only one, but he/she needs to be damn good, like met Jet Li and bitch-slapped his momma.
Bouncer- This guy has to have excellent flaming skills, because he or she will be required to disabuse anyone who acts up and make them cry like a little girl with a skinned knee.
Knuckle-dragging hose mongerer- This spot is tailor-made for Kinoons, but if he doesn’t want it, it will be open to anyone who doesn’t mind dispersing rioting crowds and hosing off the floors after our parties. Must not mind the sight of gross human suffering, or various and sundry bodily fluids.
Stuck up lieutenant who always looks like a jack-ass- We will need someone who can mislead our foes and be given mundane pointless tasks that he can bungle and provide comic relief. Will be the object of constant pranks and practical jokes. Must be funny, or will be used for target practice.
!!!OPEN CALL-OPEN CALL-OPEN CALL!!!
If there is a position that you think would be valuable to my (our) organization, let me know and I will consider it for you. Make you application addressed directly to me, and I shall respond post-haste.
**disclaimer: If you remember the last time we did something like this, it was a lot of fun. Remember, this is all in fun, and it is not a popularity contest. Everyone who applies for anything will be hired, and it will be fun for all, as fun as we make it. Hopefully, we can make it a blast just like the last time, and we can accomplish some truly nefarious things.
Also, I will never say the n word this time, so that should help.
The sooner we organize, the sooner we can dominate the world!
HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!