Garbage Nazi

The BBQ Pit
1

Where I live there is a garbage Nazi. No, really. And he’s pushing all the buttons of my SO.

Here’s what happens, in this city there is a garbage schedule (don’t ask, but the appropriate day changes every week), and people put there garbage and recycling out, usually, the evening before pick up.

Now, as it happens, I am not a slave to the schedule, since my house is owned by a gentlemen who owns a large commercial property nearby. He has a dumpster, which is at my disposal.(teehee)

I soon discovered that having gathered and bagged the garbage, it would sit in my kitchen for days, as my SO walked by it repeatedly on his way out the door and over right by the damn dumpster.

So I’ve taken to putting it on the curb, like you would for normal garbage pick up. This way he sees it, immediately on coming out of the house (front yard 10 ft to curb) and picks it up and takes it off to the dumpster. From time to time, it remains on the curb overnight until he goes out the next morning.
Here’s where the garbage Nazi comes in, often I come out and someone has moved my garbage up to my front door. Sometimes there’s a note. Very condescending, saying “…put your garbage out only on the correct day. This is called a garbage schedule…yada,yada,yada…” . My garbage never ends up strewn all about the neighbourhood and I am the first to clean it up when the students in my neighbourhood ‘forget’ to tie up their bags!

I could care about this person but it is pushing my SO over the edge. I’ve never seen this happen, to know for sure who is doing it, they are very stealth. It’s actually quite funny because the neighbourhood I live in is like a bit of a student slum, and not especially tidy. Currently there isn’t a rental property on the street that doesn’t have a mountain of garbage piled on the curb, days ahead of pick up, as the students have just moved.

What kind of controlling garbage Nazi, sneaks up in the predawn hours to handle my garbage?

And my SO, well now it’s just a huge game for him. He’s even spoken of booby trapping the trash to set off an alarm just to scare the prick. He works with indellible inks too so he could also ink it up so his hands would be stained at least then we’d know who it was.

Man, sometimes I think I am too wrapped up in lifes little problems. Then shit like this happens and suddenly I feel, well, almost well adjusted.

My SO is normally very calm, collected and very hard to annoy, (believe me I’ve tried!) and slow to anger.

That only makes it funnier.

2

We simply call her the “Nosy Bitch”, or to be more exact, she’s a code nazi.

Put up a fence and it’s a bit off…it’s off to the building dept. in my city. If you leave your garbage cans out, she’ll let you know. If you built an addition, or have someone renting out of a back apartment, she’ll inform the city…

On our yearly appliance turn-in, if you’re in violation…she’ll go and stick her nose in and let you know. When you tell her to stick it, she’ll send her spineless little husband to remove all of the hinges on your fridge, stack up your paint cans so they’re neat…
She’s always thought we were drug dealers, then my 22 year-old snotnose brother bought a BMW…let’s just say she eyes us all the time now. She’s so nosy about stuff liek this, yet her house is a shambled wreck. I’m not sure she has any room in her front yard for anything cause she’s got furniture idly thrown about in funny formations.

So, I definitely feel ya Elbows. What can you do about it? You into snuffing people outin the middle of the night? Didn’t think so…you’ll have to make them move somehow after you’ve staked the garbage situation out.

-Sam

P.S.-- She told me she’s a former Narc agent…she musta got ahold of some good stuff…

3

Your garbage nazi comes from Jacksonville where you can be fined by the local gov’t for putting your garbage out on the curb before 6pm. Also the garbage men will not pick up your garbage if you scramble out to beat them to the curb [unless you are nice to them and apologize for being so lazy and forgetful].

I personally like the idea of setting out your garbage within a specified time. The neighborhood looks better as if people on your block care and see themselves as a community, less trash increases property value which is in your interest if you own, trash is great for rats [a real public health threat], a regular helpful for those of us who can’t figure out the nonexistant pickup schedule, etc.

To get garbage nazi off your back:

  • Ask your landlord to provide trash containers. Get some of your neighbors, if you live in a multi-unit building, to voice their opinion as well.

  • Contact your councilperson to establish a well publicized schedule for regular and recyle trash

  • Do unto others… good luck

I would suggest that you get in touch with your local city/county councilperson and explain what you want.

4

Serious note for GaWd re code nazi:

“On our yearly appliance turn-in, if you’re in violation…she’ll go and stick her nose in and let you know. When you tell her to stick it, she’ll send her spineless little husband to remove all of the hinges on your fridge…”

Sorry GaWD, Code Nazi was right to let you know that the
refridgerator door must be taken off its hinges. Some codes may strike you as stupid, but this particular code has come about because too many little kids getting stuck in castoff fridges: they’d climb in, door closes, can’t get out, not enough air… you can imagine what an awful experience. We are talking about fatal accidents. Now your fridge may have had a safety lock or for some reason the door wouldn’t shut close…

Neatly stacking paint cans? That’s another issue. Besides, she or her husband did that. You didn’t. I would just sit back, listen to my music and ponder those great debates on SDMB.

5

Sounds to me like the SO could easily avoid this entire problem by simply taking the garbage from the kitchen directly to the dumpster. How difficult is that?

Not nearly as much fun, though…

6

Oh Peaches, that’s just the tip of the iceburg. My point is that she’s nosy and will stick her nose everywhere it doesn’t belong.

-Sam

P.S.-- I understand the hinge thing, and I agree with it(wasn’t my fridge).

7

Suggestion #1: If it really bugs you, set up a video surveillance camera for a day or two and find out who’s doing it. Then work from there.

Suggestion #2: If the person is polite enough to leave a note, maybe they’d be civilized enough to understand if you explained. Knock on a few doors and find out who it is, then explain?

Suggestion #3: Hang it from a coathook next to the door or on the doorjamb, inside the house, where the SO can’t miss it. Or attach the car keys to it with a piece of masking tape.

8

Unfortunately my entry way is quite confined so keeping it inside by the front door won’t work. People come to my door a lot, and I have a dog to keep on a line out front and to let in and out all day.

I have also considered explaining, which is really what got me to watching for this person. And what impressed me with their stealth. Besides, I can’t help thinking, why should I have to explain my garbage arrangements with some perfect stranger.

Personally, I don’t give a crap. If they want to juggle with it, go for it. My SO is getting his panties in a twist about it though. Now he wants to get a video camera thing, to catch someone handling his garbage! He just wants a reason to buy the damn thing.

It’s a regular comedy of errors at my house.

9

Well, depending on how much you dislike this person you could always just save up your messy garbage(ie, the “organic” stuff) for a few weeks, put it all in one bag, and set it out over night.

Oh, and cut a large square in the bottom of the bag using an X-acto knife…(sans cutting the corners of course.)

Make sure that you’re extra careful putting it in the dumpster the next day though.

10

Let’s review.

The Garbage Nazi is bitching about where you put your garbage.
The Code Nazi is annoyingly picky about local building codes.
The actual Nazis systematically murdered six million people.
I really don’t like Nazi metaphors. (“Well, I guess that makes you some kind of Language Nazi!”)

11

If you really wanted to be a prick about the whole thing, just attach a note to the garbage informing your garbage nazi that by putting the garbage back up on your porch, they are trespassing and that if it continues, you will have to contact the appropriate authorities.

While it may not be ‘legal’ to set out your garbage out early, it is not an excuse to come onto your property illegally. (I was taught that two wrongs don’t make a right.) If this person is such a sniveling coward that they cannot talk to you face to face about their concerns, then just blow them off (not away).

12

I kind of understand why nobody is keen on having bags and bags of trash standing around the neighbourhood, but this neighbour of yours is really petty and aggravating. Here in Amsterdam the houses and roads are all really small, so there is no room for rubbish bins of any kind, you just put out your bags twice a week, on the two mornings a week that they are to be collected. The other day I got a letter from the City saying that I had put my bags out early and if I did it again i’d get a fine. I wasn’t a happy bunny, but you can understand it in a small place like this with narrow roads and houses with lots of appartments and stuff. However , this means that the City employ people to go through garbage, looking for identifiers like envelopes with your name on them and the like. Now how sad is that?

13

I’m your “Nazi”.
Here, leaving your trash out after trash day earns a $75 ticket issued by the metermaids. Every year we get new student tenants across the street. If the metermaids miss one, I turn them in. One ticket is the most we’ve ever needed. Oh, yes, we’re also the old couple who yell at kids for throwing our decorative quartz gravel at each other. How else will they learn that they are annoying others?

14

I pity the poor human beings who actually have to interact with you, you controlling bastard. Is your life actually so lacking in excitement that you feel the irrestistable urge to control your neighbours garbage practices?

It’s never there very long, I always get it to the dumpster as fast as possible. I willingly clean up other garbage in the street, regularly. My garbage is always neatly and snugly tied.

Leave me and mine alone and practise your controlling ways on your poor underlings and family members, I’m quite certain they are used to it.

My SO is normally a calm, rational, sane human being. You are driving him crazy you ratbastard. Leave him along, he’s a harmless and hapless creature who deserves compassion and besides he’s not comitting any crime.