That is just wrong! 
Well go and throw some plastic horse shit on them.
No pictures?
(I only checked the first page. Apologies if there were some embedded in the rest.)
After laughing my butt off over the Garden Gnome discussion, I had to join SD.
I am, however, amazed that absolutely nobody suggested little gnome gnametags…such as: Gnadia, Gnadine, Gnigel, Gnatalie, Gnero, Gnelson, Gnelly, Gnadine, Gneville, Gnelly, Gnanette, Gnash, Gnicholas, … and Fred.
I’ve always thought Terence is the ideal name for a garden gnome. Mostly because I had a geography teacher at prep school whose name was Terence and looked like a gnome, sans stocking cap.
And their pet Ggnu.
<Goblinmama slaps own forehead> Of course! HOW could I have forgotten??
o gno!, Gnot again!
And here I was thinking this thread had gone to the great gnomery in the sky.
The plastic flowers/shrubs etc that he ‘planted’ make my garden look positively tatty.
I’ll get him one day
Thats Phred.
But your excused-everyone knbows goblins can’t spell.
I’m not sure I like the way this is going.
Regards
Terrence
Chowder, my former neighbor would spend thousands every couple of years to repopulate her yard with plastic flowers. It is contagious, the neighbor across the street started doing it to. To give you an idea of how contagious, the NATS had a father that was a botanist!
When my house was for sale, I swear, every 3rd person that saw her house said “Oh, what pretty…uuhhh, are those FAKE?”
I now live in the woods where I get to be the weirdo. I made a scarecrow to provide shade to my chicken coop and she’s made out of a mannequin torso, a hoop skirt and a huge, blonde curly wig. She is wearing my prom dress from 1986.
I had a neighbor like this. Ugh! And don’t even get me started on the horrific screeching of her rusted windmill “statue.”
Do what I did, start adding to the collection. Rearrange them, make them dance in circles at the Summer Solstice. Give them little picket signs with extreme political opinions. Put martini glasses in their hands (in my case this required some post-it type glue
She soon fell in love with gazing balls. Those were much worse actually, as the gnomes, for all their tack, had never blinded me while trying to turn out of the driveway.
Oh, and stick some of these on any trees he might have. . . Tree Faces O, and theeeeeeese, I forgot about these! ! ! Gnome Door
I had a blast with that poor lady’s garden. Exercise the prankster in you, he needs sunlight! (Moonlight actually recommended for these activities. And moonshine too. . .)
I bought a girl gnome and staged a barfight scene over her. I bought little “rugs” at the dollar store and made them pray toward Mecca. I stuck a battery operated “Fart machine” inside a large hollow ceramic one. the booming sound effect was most satisfying.
Ok, let’s start collecting money for the Chowder defense fund…
You need to hire these guys.
Oddly enough, this made me think of this thread. Now here it is, back again in time for me to make the link.
Quite unneccesary old chap, I was nowhere near the place.
::looks furtively around::
How do you tell them apart, don’t female gnomes have beards too?
Must be might slightly eccentric take on the world, but I quite like seeing garden gnomes. Not got any myself though.
Count yourself lucky that his gnomes are not likethis one.
[quote=“Walker_in_Eternity, post:279, topic:474302”]
How do you tell them apart, don’t female gnomes have beards too?
QUOTE]
Only the bearded lady gnomes.
And Mother Christmas has got what I imagine are breasts beneath all that colourful clobber