Slightly NSFW: http://www.gnomeland.co.uk/Shop-ceramic-rude.html
http://omyonlinecom.nationprotect.net/files/products-toys-gnome.php
A Gnome Vibrator.
Google is wunderbar.
Those are… very disturbing. Excellent.
The jolly mustachioed one needs fangs, though. And maybe another version closed with a satisfied smirk, and a squirrel’s tail hanging out.
The poor guy. He looks heartbroken. 
Has anyone mentioned that all Gnomes are Nazis?
I gnew it!
I love the one with the cell phone. It may be time to visit the old neighborhood . . .
Well, then they’re just crying out for armbands, aren’t they?
Saw some at an antique store, but I’m guessing you don’t need authentic ones at $32 each (and think how much fun it’ll be trying to explain when someone walks in on you as you’re sewing a couple dozen of them!).
ps: Playing next year at Summerfest, on the WTOS Classic Punk Stage: Nazi Garden Gnomes!
Nazi Garden Gnomes, Google image it
You won’t be disappointed.
The OP should never, ever, open this link.
Oh, my! I love the line, “The gnomes will be fostered out to various locations across the Blue Mountains but will be reunited next Australia Day for the sixth annual Australian Gnome Convention.”
They’ll be reunited! Here’s a chance to nuke 'em from orbit!
I thought my neighbour was nuts, that woman had 1500 of the little buggers.
Fifteen bloody hundred :smack:
“The fact that others are more cracked does not dimish your [neighbor’s] crackpot status” quoted from Zen Master of the Subway
In my head, The Naturist looks like chowder.
I find plastic flowers waaaaay more offensive than gnomes. Plastic flowers in the UK-the garden capitol of the world? WTF?
I do hope you are moving them around, subtly, so as to mess with neighbor’s head.
My sister in law just got busted for 53 pieces of garden flair in her yard, which goes against the rules and regulations of the association.
It’s all stuff she spray-painted and glittered up.
[quote=“eleanorigby, post:294, topic:474302”]
In my head, The Naturist looks like chowder.
How dare you madam, how very dare you.
As a matter of fact I closely resemble Brad Pitt, indeed people have come up to me in the street and asked for my autograph in the mistaken belief that I am he.
It’s just something I’ve had to learn to live with
Right… Brad Pitt at 67? Didn’t he make a movie that showed him aged–NOT a pretty picture, I might add… And, after perusing that web site a bit more, I see that I am wrong.
C’mon, you can admit it: you posed for The Plonker, didntcha? 
See if you can get ahold of a mini-can of weed killer or napalm and velcro it to one of the gnome’s hands, then place him near the “flower” border to make a “mad scientist makes mutant vegetation” tableau.
Go check out page 3 of that web site where the Naturist is… there is one called “going, going, gone” which Chowder MUST purchase and place near his property line as a warning to Neighbor.
Also on P3 is “Buxom Bess”
Strangely enough eleanorrigby sprang immediately to mind when I saw that one.
Incidentally I may be 67 but in all honesty I look just like BP does now.
This just in: the British government has proposed making Charles Isham’s birthday a national holiday. Chowder was last seen speeding towards the Parliament building with 20 tons of ammonium nitrate packed into the back of a moving van. Witnesses claim he was heard screaming “Taliban schmaliban—I’ll show you fuckers the meaning of Jihad!”