What if YOU start dressing up in outfits just the same as the ones his gnomes wear. And put little people statues up in YOUR yard. Act normally, change nothing but that. Just see how long it takes for him to put up a “for sale” sign and clear out.
Almost 8:00 in the morning, I gaze out my window, not a single Gnome to be seen, not one.
Matter off fact there’s bugger all to see as a thick blanket of fog covers all.
At least I hope it’s fog and not poison gas ::eek::
Gnome farts?
If they are living outdoors, wouldn’t that make them Gn(h)omeless? Perhaps you could have them arrested for vagrancy?
I LOVE the sound of British chicken in the morning! I’ll help you out. I’ll only kneecap the one knee. It’s an offer you would be er, shall we say unwise? to refuse.
Chowder–that’s no fog. That’s a cloud of ignomamuses, providing camouflage whilst an advance team storms your house. Retreat! Retreat!
If no one else will acknowledge it, I will. Well done.
How tall are you, and how long can you stand very, very still?
If you’re going to produce them, I’ll take one with a motion sensor and a head that turns toward movement, but with a restriction that it only moves once per any given, say, five minutes. Just often enough that you’ve given up watching it. In fact, I want about eight of them. “Wait, did that one move? No, that one!”
Make mine with a head that instantly swivels 90 degrees and says “I’m Talky Tina, and you’d better be nice to me.”
I did that one year, made a snow goon! It had two heads, three arms, two sets of buttons, and gaping mouths. It was the winter they were in the comic strip.
I was just putting on the finishing touches and a lady came by on the sidewalk, pushing her kid in a stroller. She stopped to look and said “Oh! You’re making a snow goon!” I was proud I did a good likeness!
Perhaps from here?
I’m surprised no-one has asked the question yet, but who would win if a leprechaun and a gnome came to blows?
Hmmm, difficult one but I’m going for Gnomes.
My reason: Gnomes are usually armed with shovels whereas Leprechauns only have those knobbly sticks, one good bash with a shovel and stick is a goner.
Quick as a flash Gnome is beating the shit out of Leppie, game over and time for a nap.
Now then, if they were on a treadmill…
Perhaps this would help with those pesky gnomes…
It’s the only way to be sure.
There once was a garden in Nome
That shivered in frost thick as foam
It needed a guardian
It needed a hardy one
For Palin around with its Gnome.
You should have gnome better…
These ‘little folk’ puns are bound to come to an ignome-inious end.
Yes indeed, I understand they can be detrimental to your well being.
Unelfy in other words
Little bastards.
No, no, no.
It’s vertically challenged bastards.
Apart from the 36" fucker in my neighbours front garden, I wouldn’t wanna mess with him, he looks mean