Yosemitebabe, I have the same thing happen to me all the time. My older sister and I look nothing alike (we’re half sisters, she looks like her dad, I look like mine,) but she’s also my best friend. We act like sisters when we’re shopping together, picking lint off eachother clothes, pinching each other when we feel insulted, (maybe that’s just my family,) using the verbal shorthand that you use when you’re close to someone. So we get the funny looks, and everything, too. But it doens’t bother me at all, whatever, at least people assume I’m in a relationship.
We were visiting San Fran once, and hanging out in Castro (the gayest section in arguably the gayest town in the world. There’s a store called the Fairy Queen. I bought a magnet of Clark Kent kissing Dick Tracy. Heh.) and a store keeper said something about what a cute couple we were, and you should have seen the look of disgust when I told him we were sisters. I felt like pulling out the pictures of us as tikettes and going “NO, REALLY. I swear!” So one example of gaydar being off.
DON PEDRO: Your silence most offends me, and to be merry best becomes you; for, out of question, you were born in a merry hour.
BEATRICE: No, sure, my lord, my mother cried; but then there was a star danced, and under that was I born. -Much Ado About Nothing, Act II, Sc: i
Yosemitebabe, I have the same thing happen to me all the time. My older sister and I look nothing alike (we’re half sisters, she looks like her dad, I look like mine,) but she’s also my best friend. We act like sisters when we’re shopping together, picking lint off eachother clothes, pinching each other when we feel insulted, (maybe that’s just my family,) using the verbal shorthand that you use when you’re close to someone. So we get the funny looks, and everything, too. But it doens’t bother me at all, whatever, at least people assume I’m in a relationship.
We were visiting San Fran once, and hanging out in Castro (the gayest section in arguably the gayest town in the world. There’s a store called the Fairy Queen. I bought a magnet of Clark Kent kissing Dick Tracy. Heh.) and a store keeper said something about what a cute couple we were, and you should have seen the look of disgust when I told him we were sisters. I felt like pulling out the pictures of us as tikettes and going “NO, REALLY. I swear!” So one example of gaydar being off.
DON PEDRO: Your silence most offends me, and to be merry best becomes you; for, out of question, you were born in a merry hour.
BEATRICE: No, sure, my lord, my mother cried; but then there was a star danced, and under that was I born. -Much Ado About Nothing, Act II, Sc: i
I’m a bisexual (am I still the only out bi SD-er?), and I have a pretty decent gay-dar. Uncanny, even. Don’t know why.
Part of it’s probably just that when you look for an aspect in people, you’re more likely no notice it when it’s there. Like if you’re really into R.E.M., you’re more likely to notice someone quoting their lyrics. shrug
I once had the hillarious experience of working in a stifflingly conservative workplace, and having a gay co-worker who was (by most definitions) quite flaming. No one else there had ever even talked (knowingly) to an out gay man, so no one else knew he was gay. Management would still make homophobic jokes with him around, so I know they weren’t just being polite and not mentioning it. But to me, it was as obvious as night and day. His male co-workers would shoot the breeze with him about how sexy certain women looked, and he’d just nod. It was weird.
On the other hand, I can /never/ seem to tell if a woman is gay or not unless she tells me. My male-gaydar is maybe 80% right on the money, but my female gay-dar must be on the blink or something.
Your Quadell
P.S. No, there’s no such thing as bi-dar. But when your gay-dar triggers on someone who’s married, maybe that counts. . .
Oh, sure, Green Bean! Just steal my thunder, why don’t you? Anyway, the butch/femme thing is overrated, but it does exist to a certain extent. My first relationship was with a decidedly butch lass. She wasn’t stereotypical about it, though. She grew her hair long and wore dresses sometimes, but she definitely put out masculine vibes. She got a perverse pleasure in being mistaken for a man, and on the net, she always assumed a male identity. She also would have been right at home in the “Guy Stuff” thread, but a lot of straight women would be too (as was amply demonstrated), so that doesn’t really say much. On the other hand, I put out decidedly feminine vibes, I obviously assume a female identity on the net, and when I am mistaken for a man, I am usually mistaken for a transvestite. So, femme/butch is more of an issue of personality rather than roleplay, but it does exist in some forms. If it’s any consolation, most of the other women I’ve dated would be considered “femme” like me.
Heck is where you go when you don’t believe in Gosh.
My sister has a lesbian couple who are friends, and I’ve hung with them. Once I was pulled along on an errand to their church - we were finding homes for kittens, and I got to help drive. I felt very out of place, being the only male over the age of 13. There was a fair percentage of short hair, baggy shirts, tennis shoes, and little/no makeup in the crowd.
I was at a concert last summer and watching the crowd beforehand. Saw the butchest looking chicks walking together.
I’ve been hit on by men before, a couple times. Once was a circumstance of my surroundings - in a gay friendly environment. No wonder the chicks ignored me.
Don’t know about straight-dar, but my sense of someone is interested in me or not is broken. I hit on a waitress, turns out she was just being nice, and had a boyfriend. I hit on a married chick once - didn’t see the ring. Many similar experiences.
I don’t pick up subtle clues well. Of course, I’m shy enough that my clues tend to be subtle.
I’ve noticed that I pick up on stereotypes a lot more now than I used to. I find myself thinking “He’s gay; she’s gay,” based on these. What bothers me is that I’m caring enough to make these judgments. How did I get so interested in others’ oreintations? It might matter if she’s cute and I’m debating asking her out, but otherwise it’s irrelevant to me, so why do I catch myself noticing? (No, I know I’m not gay, and not picking up on subconscious desires.)
I had read the article about the ‘gaydar’ gadget a week ago and had been searching for it since to post to this thread.
The only key words I remembered for the article were like gay, shy, meet, device etc, and I never found it, but I was directed to a lot of places to meet shy, gay, men that were into toys.
I would think the device could be utilized by anyone. So, if you want to meet a card carrying NRA member that is into pro wrestling, banjos and beastiality–you just set the frequency and Whalla! Make friends fast!!
Hmmm, this is interesting. My first reaction is “how sad” that people should have to resort to mechanical devices to indicate sexual interst. The second reaction was mental whiplash, based on lifelong oblivion to signals of any sort.
Maybe there’s a need and a market niche for this. Lord knows, if it works there is agony aplenty for programmers for the merely socially inept. (Write code for the mish-mash of human frustration ::shudder: Maybe this is the “digital Yenta” of the future.
I’m hopelessly straight–and yes, I believe this is hardwired, not chosen. “Wanting to” and “easy” aren’t real options. So I don’t KNOW what I think about “gaydar”, etc. Lord knows I can’t spot “it” anyway. I’m just not sure mechanical interventions would help.
Then again, I’m not sure then could hurt, given the muddle that exists.
Aha! It’s just another plot for the conservative religious right to subvert the homosexual community and its monetary abundance and completely obliterate them from the face of the earth!
Or, maybe it’s just a harmless little gadget that will make a few people some bucks, not too unlike Tamagotchi did with teenage girls.
I’d pick one up just to piss off people I knew had one.
with gaydar a gay guy could hook up with a gay woman… i remember seeing gaydar on the daily show… but then i also remember seeing the gay agenda on the daily show
