Cishet male here, he/him, ally.
My (now) nephew recently got his new ID papers from the Spanish government, and it has been a pleasure to see his attitude and personality change throughout the whole transition process. Went from someone whom you could easily see was permanently unhappy and sad into a wonderful person that you enjoy interacting with.
I am very happy for him because I can see that he is finally happy with himself.
I’m also here as an ally. When I think of the many real problems that face humanity, I can’t think of a single one that is adversely affected in any way by gender diverse people. Yet, gender diverse people people have suffered horribly over time just for being the individual people that they are. I find that heartbreaking.
In that light, I strive to support those I know by being their friends and by treating them the same way I would treat my straight friends. People want to be loved, accepted, and supported no matter what their gender identification is.
Cishet dad of a 13yo who goes by they/them. From what we can tell, they’ve been out to their friends for a year or two, but their mom and I didn’t pick up on it until several months ago.
Intellectually, I’ve been a strong ally for ages. Emotionally, I worry about my kid in this messed up culture we have.
Isn’t life so much more fun now that you don’t have to get outraged by someone else harmlessly enjoying themselves?
Indeed!
But now I get outraged at the people trying to stop them.
Ally here, at least I’m trying to be.
I’m a leader in our local Scout troop, and I’ve seen a few non-cis-het kids in the area have trouble participating in a program that they genuinely enjoy. I want it to be a welcoming place where they can be themselves, have fun with other kids, experience the outdoors, and learn useful things. I find it very frustrating that this seems to be a difficult thing.
They are doing harm and deserve our outrage!
True. Especially the ones doing it for cynical political reasons, instead of just out of ignorance.
It just puts a dent in the amount of time/energy available for outrage, that’s all. But at least part of the reason for reducing one’s outrage at things not deserving it is so as to have it available for things that do.
I just want to say a quick “Thank you!” to everyone here for your support and allyship!
While I’m well aware of how much further we need to go to dispel some pretty angry rhetoric from misinformed people, I’m also heartened at how far we’ve come in my lifetime (I’m 62) from decriminalization of homosexuality in Canada to equal marriage to the beginnings of understanding gender.
There is a lot to adapt to, but with kindness, respect, and understanding, I believe we will get there!
Ally.
There was a transgender woman and my last job in the states. I was probably not as supportive as I could have been. That was over 2 decades ago.
A few years later, my best friends younger sibling came out as transgender. While I was initially surprised, I should not have been. He is definitely a he. I now have friends who are nonbinary, other friends who have transititioned and friends who have children who are members of the LGBTQ+ spectrum.
I usually use she/her, but I don’t find it offensive if someone calls me them.
I’m frightened for some of my friends. I knew a couple who moved to Texas from Toronto, and a few of years later, one of them came out as trans. At the peak of GOP trans-pogroms a while back (who am I kidding, we haven’t begun to scale that peak yet) I was begging my American friends anywhere on the LGBTQ+ spectrum to get the hell out as soon as they could.
@veryfrank , I’m embarrassed and ashamed to say that your fears may very well be correct. Oh, not yet, sure, it’s not there yet but close very close. I live in Idaho and that used to make me happy. Now it makes me angry and sad, nevermind the harm and hate being inflicted by the government, the foul disgusting deliberate wilful ignorance I hear spouted by people on the streets these days. I fear for my country and my people.
I wish I could say that Canada is immune to the misinformation and hateful rhetoric, but we’re not. The Yellow Vests, who were pro-pipeline demonstrators in early 2020, morphed into the Freedom Convoy, who were anti-vaxx and anti-mask mandate demonstrators who blockaded the streets of Ottawa in 2022. They’ve now morphed into the ‘Million March 4 Children’, and they have demonstrated in cities across Canada, arguing for ‘parental rights’, restrictions on gender-affirming care, and other anti-trans policies. In the provinces of New Brunswick and Saskatchewan, legislation has been passed or is in process to inform the parents of children who want to use self-chosen pronouns or names. Alberta is proposing bathroom legislation, restrictions on what can be taught in schools, and restricting gender affirming care. Pierre Poilièvre, who may very well be our next Prime Minister, has also spoken in favour of these types of policies.
There is so much disinformation out there fuelling the fires, it’s hard to keep up. And yet…
With every new trans person I encounter, I hear their stories of courage, and it confirms my desire to stand with them. It’s that simple to me.
This might be a good place to share links to trans artists we admire…
I’ll start with Kellie Loder, whom I first heard in 2019, opening for Stephen Fearing. They’re enjoying continued success in the field of Contemporary Christian Music. They have come out as queer and non-binary, and use gender-neutral pronouns. They have recently come out as transgender.
Here’s their song “Fearless” - https://youtu.be/HoFLBhx6ZUU?si=XLmN4HmT1K7L9Jvz
Flaming hetero whose eldest came out as a trans woman as a young adult. I’m happy she can be who she is, and thankful my devout Baptist parents fully supported her. My Mom loved the middle name she chose (she kept her first name, which she liked and works for males or females.
Ally, she/her but I don’t care what you call me.
When I was in HS, Life had an article on a transgender woman. It seemed back then to be a reasonable choice to make, and it still seems that way to me.
I don’t have much experience with non-binary and transgender people, but I’m willing to advocate where I can.
As an aside, it is nice to put preferred pronouns in your bio (if no other info). Of course, you (general “you”) do not have to but it helps.
If you click on my avatar here you will see what I mean. I know some other posters do it. Up to you, of course. It’s helpful but not necessary or required.
Mostly here as an ally, but while i generally identify as a woman, i think if i were 20 i would identify as non-binary or possibly even male. But like @AHunter3 , I’m pretty comfortable with my body. (There was a time when i wanted breast reduction surgery, but that was before i had kids, and i wanted to be able to nurse. And after having kids I’m more comfortable with my boobs.)
Most people use female pronouns for me, but i don’t feel very female, so i don’t like posting them and having them be the first thing you learn about me. And i often get “sirred” over the phone, and rarely in person, and that’s fine, too. I’ve also been called they, and xe. So long as you aren’t trying to insult me, i don’t really care what pronouns you use.
Since you dont mind “they” as well, “she/they” might be an option any place where you do want to give your pronouns.
And yes, ally here. Know some trans people, but only online. Not very well tapped into the LGBT community around here, which is understandably a bit cagey. And plus I’m not super social IRL.
I’m actually uncomfortable with “they”. I’m old, and i grew up with they being mostly plural, and while I’m okay with the singular “they” intellectually, i still find it jarring. I don’t mind if you use it, but I’m not going to request it. I’m more comfortable with “he” than with “they”. I really wish one of the novel singular pronouns had caught on, but that isn’t going to happen.
Basically, i prefer not to give pronouns. Also, while it’s nice if enough people offer pronouns that it’s “normal”, it’s not nice to force people to give pronouns. Doing that isn’t just awkward for people like me who feel like they don’t quite fit, it’s really extremely awkward for people who are trans but not yet “out”. Ideally, 40%-60% of everyone would offer up pronouns, so either choice is normalized.
I like Mx, though. Of course, i can’t remember the last time i offered a title, but next time it comes up i will attempt Mx. (Pronounced “mix”, like “miz”, where the “i” might blur to a shwa.)