[sidetrack] The Canadian government introduced, debated, and passed legislation requiring social media sites to pay Canadian news organizations for news stories shared by users. The basis of this legislation is to make up for the advertising revenues lost by traditional journalism, and to sustain a struggling Canadian based news media. Meta (Facebook and Instagram) responded by banning the sharing of news by Canadian users, no matter what the source. This ban has been in place since last June, and shows no signs of stopping.
When Australia launched similar legislation for a similar purpose, Meta caved after a time, but the ban is 9 months old in Canada.
From my time here on the Dope, I have a habit of backing my statements and opinions up by sharing a news link, if only to establish that someone else shares my opinion and/or I’m not just making shit up. Every day, when I go through my Facebook memories, I’m reminded of how often I do that, because there’s not a day where it doesn’t say at least once ‘This content can’t be shared because of the Canadian government legislation…’
Not at all. I have VERY strong opinions about it, but I try to present ‘just the facts’ and let other people make up their own minds.
And a side problem with it is - fake news is flourishing on social media in Canada because there’s no problem with sharing YouTube videos of ‘Medical Professional DESTROYED by someone claiming to be a scientist’ or ‘Climate Scientist PWNED by oil company executive in a lab coat’. There are ways around the ban - post a link with a ‘x’ in front of it, delete the preview, and tell people to copy, paste, and take out the ‘x’, but it doesn’t have the flashiness of, say, a photo of a sad looking kid at a protest being shielded from the bad people by his mother…
A lie can get halfway around the world before the truth even has its boots on!
This is the first I have heard of autigender and maybe this fits me. I am male with “quirks”. Recently I found that some quirks are consistent with autism. And also have realized that some of my quirks are gender related (covid stuff brought that up, but that’s another story).
For me there is no “identity” related to gender. I have a nose, but that isn’t who I am. I have male body parts, but that isn’t who I am.
If I like rom-coms and don’t like action movies, why does it matter? I have some tactile issues and have preferences related to clothing. If an article of clothing feels better I will wear it, it doesn’t matter what section of the store the clothing is from. As long as I’m home does it matter what I wear? (and why would it matter if I wore clothes from the female department in public - I don’t).
Another ally checking in. I’m a cishet white able-bodied English-speaking culturally-Christian man; in the privilege lottery, I hit the Mega Millions.
I take that to mean though that I have a responsibility to examine my privilege, understand how it sets me apart from marginalized groups, and use it to amplify the voices of those who don’t.
“Some of my best friends are gay” is a horrible cliché, but in my case, it’s literally true; my closest college friend came out when we were both seniors, and paid me the incredible honor being the first person he told. We went through some rough times afterwards, as I discovered just how much lingering homophobia I had; but he stuck with me, and I with him, and we’re still close. We were the best men at each other’s weddings, and my wife and I vacation with him and his husband every year.
Through him, and others, I have come to understand something of the shit that LGBTQ folks have to deal with; but it’s an intellectual knowledge, for me, rather than the lived experience it is for him and for others. So I’ll shut up and listen, in this thread, saying only to trans and genderqueer Dopers that I hear you, I accept you, and I support you.
Ally de-lurking long enough to check in. My daughter is a transwoman engaged to another transwoman. She came out to us only a few years ago, in her mid-20s, and she’s clearly happier now than she was growing up and we’re happy for her. She has a lot of support in her community of friends. The only real difficulty for us was breaking decades of habit regarding the pronouns we use for her. A plus for my spouse: She got the daughter she always wanted!
Our son is cis, but happily dated a non-binary person for a while. We were sad to see that end, they seemed good together.
And, yes, some of my best friends are gay, including my long-time research collaborator.
Growing up and well into adulthood, I considered myself lucky—things always seemed to work out for me even when, possibly, they shouldn’t have. In recent years I’ve come to understand that it may not have been luck, but the privilege of being a cis-het white male (although an atheist, but that’s not really a detriment in academia).
I’m still very skeptical of this report, because of the political nature of the case. Even if the report is accurate, it still reflects badly on the school and the state policies in place.
Please, be respectful of the circumstances of their death, and understand that discussion of them could be triggering to other non-binary and trans people in distress.
I was bullied at school quite a bit. Not for gender issues, but because I was a nerd/geek, not part of any clique or sports group etc.
Some children do seem to be very clannish and vindictive (*). I have to wonder if that’s something in our DNA, or if they have subconsciously absorbed attitudes from their family environments?
*: Lord of the Flies, though of course that’s fiction…
I’m sorry to tell you that my response to being bullied was to bully others in an attempt to deflect what was coming to me on to others. I stopped bullying somewhere in Grade 8. I made the switch to avoiding my tormentors (possible, but not always easy), and I found a group of like-minded friends who were into many of the same nerdy/geeky things I was into.
And because of where and when that was, almost all of the slurs being yelled about were homophobic. I know how much it hurt me - I can only imagine and empathize over how much worse it must have been for anyone who went through similar bullying while struggling with the underlying questions of their own sexuality and gender identity.
This is why Gay-Straight Alliances (GSAs) are so important, to end that kind of bullying, and to build empathy and understanding!
Possibly especially if the report is accurate. At least, as opposed to a report that the cause was an undiagnosed heart problem, or something of the sort.
I’ll be honest, I’m whatever you want to call it - suspicious, paranoid, cynical, mistrusting - enough to have been afraid that they’d try to position their death as an unexpected side effect of hormone therapy. That way, they could use that as justification to deny trans teens gender affirming therapy.
And I still wouldn’t be surprised to see some variation on that come out as an Alex Jones or similar turdweasel conspiracy theory…
Nanna of a transgirl here. She (now 14) came out a couple of years or so ago, is on puberty blockers and under the care of gender-affirming medical practitioners.
But I still keep fucking up the pronouns FFS.
It would be much easier for ME if she presented as a typical 14 year old girl, but she’s a grot who has aversions to showering and washing her hair, and wears trackies and black t-shirts.
I hear you, Nanna - it was very hard for us at first, not least because my son was a real girly girl with frilly princess dresses when he was younger. Even now, if he feels like wearing a dress, he will.
For me, it was hardest when I was talking about memories - I would often use his dead name when referring to something he’d done years ago. I had a heart to heart with him, and explained that it was because those were cherished memories, and that I loved him deeply at that time, and those memories are filed under the wrong name. I also assured him that I would try my very best because I love him deeply now, too.
It got better - I got used to it, I rarely slip now, and if I do, I catch it and apologize. He gets it, bless him!
I’m not an ally. I can’t think that way. I’m not helping, but I am not hindering
I don’t give a shit about how people represent themselves. You are a trans man? Great, none of my business. You are a trans woman? Great, none of my business. You are bi, gay, lesbian, whatever? None of my business.
I support the people who distain the fairly incredible level of prejudice against people whose existence, gender and/or sexual preferences are none of their critics business.
I’m a hereterosexual male. My favourite bar is a very LGBTQIA+ friendly. I don’t ask questions, I just take people as they present. Perhaps I am lucky to live in a city with a fair diversity of people.
I do teach my children that people can be different, so maybe I am an ally in that way? I do give a shit about my kids learning to be kind to everyone, but as for people I meet, their nature is their nature; I can’t criticize them. They are all people worthy of respect, regardless of sexual diversity or gender identity so I try to respect them.
Personally I don’t find saying “I’m an ally” sits comfortably with me, because ultimately it’s up to others to decide whether I am or not. I just try to be one and not worry about labels.
I think one can be generally in favor of something without having to be an activist?
Something that does annoy me, though, is the ‘reverse descrimination’ position adopted by a (hopefully small) number of people who seem to have a chip on their shoulder.
As in: you lot (white old hetero males) have oppressed us for so long so we deserve special treatment in recompense?
But we are in danger of straying into politics here, which was probably not the OP’s intention.
Let’s repeat Russell’s words: “Love is wise, hatred is foolish.”
It’s far from unique to the LGBTQIA subset. There are many people who wish to believe that the hurtfulness of the world has a blameworthy culprit behind it all. That they planned this, and are doing it on purpose. That they benefit from it. And that we’ll be free and equal and happy once we put them up against the wall.
I’m marginalized but I don’t ascribe to the culprit theory of oppression. White hetero males may have inflicted a lot of pain and in many cases continue to do so, but it’s not to your benefit. You’ve typically broadcast a hostility that had “everyone is supposed to be like me” as its main edge, but I will confess that as a sissy femme male I’m no bettter. I disapproved of masculine males and the only thing keeping you from encountering that hostility in painful proportions is that you folks outnumber us by a massive degree.
I think we all have a touch of xenophobia, a tendency to react badly to difference. Difference can feel like disapproval when we’re insecure, and who isn’t at least some of the time, and especially when we’re young and unsure in general? Affirmative difference, proud difference, can come across as “Fucking hell, you disgusting piece of garbage, I’m sure as shit glad I ain’t like YOUUU!” Most of us don’t mean it that way. We’re just pushing back at the people who said our difference was evil or pathetic or sick and wrong.
