General outlet for steaming about TubaDiva's unprofessionalism

Starting in this now-closed thread, TubaDiva posts a cryptic remark about “more better stuff coming” wink wink nudge nudge, but she can’t say any more about it. Catsix says, basically, “We’ve heard this before. It never happened, did it?” Hilarity does not ensue. Then came this thread in ATMB, asking about the history of their interactions. I wanted to reply to this thread, and while I feel my reply is mostly civil and sticks to the point, there are a few comments that may be over the line in ATMB and Carnal K has already been warned in the other one. Maybe there’s a need for this, so here I am.

I keep reading this same sentiment in many different forms: “They’re even,” “they were just going back and forth,” “it was just a pissing match between two people,” etc.

And the thing is – no, it wasn’t.

TubaDiva is an administrator who wields quite a lot of power. Catsix is a paying customer, basically here as long as the folks in charge feel inclined. They are not equal, in any sense of the word. Whether Catsix had a valid point is nearly irrelevant to me: The point is this is yet the latest entry in TubaDiva’s magnum opus, “How to act unprofessionally for fun and profit.”

When I go to a fancy restaurant, if someone else has a problem, I expect the waitstaff and the managers to find a way to minimize or eliminate the disruption to both that customer as well as everyone else in the place. When I go to McDonalds, if someone has a problem, I expect the counter staff and the managers to find a way to minimize or eliminate the disruption in much the same manner. In neither of those places, nor in any similar venue, do I expect a manager to get into a pissing match with a customer no matter who’s right.

They’re not even. Catsix, as much as TubaDiva may want to “promise” otherwise, is a paying customer for the moment. TubaDiva is an administrator, and the only one directly involved with this board and posting on a daily basis who is paid for whatever it is she does (as far as I am aware).

As C K Dexter Haven points out, sometimes actions affect more than those they’re directed toward. All I know is when I’m in a restaurant, and the managers handle an irate customer quickly and efficiently, as they do probably 99% of the time, I appreciate the place more. When a manager gets in a pissing match with a customer, even only one percent of the time? Those I remember, and my respect for that business is greatly diminished.

Some people have trouble accepting that mods and administrators are also just board members. I’ve never had that problem. You seem to be implying that getting into an argument with a mod puts you at greater risk for being warned or banned, like they’re going to ban you just for disagreeing. I’ve never seen that, and I don’t know why people make that insinuation.

That’s a fair point, but this is a message board and people come here to talk. The conversations are the reason the business exists, not a distraction from the food. And if I may exaggerate, nobody ever seems interested in settling a dispute with a mod in private.

I don’t think that they get paid, or at least that was the impression I was under.

What about this thread?

HeyHomie says

Tuba responds with this snarky post.

HeyHomie replies with

Tuba came back with

And follows it up with

Seriously, wtf?

TubaDiva does. The other admins and mods don’t, except for the coffee mug.

I would say that Tuba’s quote in that thread doesn’t do much to dispel the idea that arguing with a mod could bring on the ban stick:

Sure, we could argue about what exactly she means here but I just can’t help but feel that was said with an angry sneer, in an “I’ll get you my pretty, and your little dog too!” tone.

This is really out of line, for an answer to an innocent question posted in ATMB. I don’t know much about the unprofessionalism, I don’t pay attention to the politics around this place, but if this is the way the admins treat the customers it’s no wonder everyone is so upset. Wow.

I did see that thread as it unfolded, and like everybody else, I took Hey Homie’s comments in earnest. I have no idea what the fuck the problem was there. I followed some of the Tuba/catsix stuff at the time, but haven’t read every single bit of it.

While I would readily acknowledge her general possessiveness, inconsistency, territorialism, capriciousness, and not-so-closeted authoritarianism - seriously folks, this is not some new development. Some may recall similar behavior on the old AOL SD boards - I’m talking last century.

The notion that she is some unappreciated martyr toiling away thanklessly for our sins has always been a shameless joke.

Term limits!

I think you’re correct on that thread. I couldn’t figure out what got under **TubaDiva’s ** Skin in that one. It looked like an honest inquiry.

Garfield226 I stand by what I said in two threads now. Pissing contest is a good description as it turned into a pissing and moaning afterwords. A lot of people did not see **CatSix ** as a particularly aggrieved party anymore than TubaDiva.
I think **Kimera ** found a much better example if you want to complain about **TubaDiva ** being too touchy lately.

I know she has only been polite and courteous with me, so that is why I was wondering if there was any past history. From what I understand, **CatSix ** is known to stir the pot a bit. I still know nothing about **Hey Homie ** and so I am still baffled.


TubaDiva is not going anywhere. Nor are TPTB interested in doing changing things.

The SDMB is her baby and she’s done a lot of thankless work behind the scenes here. I believe she gets some small check for what is truly some administrative work here (as opposed to other admins) and she’s the one that handles a lot of the customer e-mail traffic*. The SDMB is a lost cause for The Reader and should Ed fire her, who will take the load she’s carried? For almost no pay? No one, is my WAG.

So, they cut her more than a little slack. They let her get away with a quite unprofessional 'tude. They let her be rude, snarky and generally a… well jerk is a description that seems pretty apt.

And since this is her baby, she’ll defend it, tooth and claw, and like mama bear defending her cub, there’s no point in appealing to reason. Her posting indicates that she’s under a lot of strain and her temper flashes quite rapidly. I could take that if she could just once apologize, but no, that’s not about to happen.

And after the ATMB thread where someone quoted her and asked for clarification, she posted:

Well… Is quoting TubaDiva the same as putting words in her mouth?

Whatever. Pitting her is not gonna do any good though. We’ll just hae to accept that the maitre’d at this place is a jerk. As long as the guests are nice and the food good, maybe we can live with that.
*only, for some reason she doesn’t answer my e-mails. Not that it’s important anymore.

But it doesn’t matter if they’re equivalent in, uh, let’s say temperment, or moral authority. It’s Tuba’s job, for which she apparently receives renumeration, to make the waters as smooth as possible for the rest of us. And getting into a public pissing match is per se a failure of that responsibility.


The SDMB Chop House Menu


  1. Escargot and Mushroom Caps in Vinegar…$8.49
    This fresh dish requires much preparation. Please ask your server for an approximate time frame before ordering.
  2. Our Famous Wish Sandwich…$2.99
    Two warm rhubarb biscuits. Wish for whatever meat you want. The options are limitless, but they’ll go unheeded


  1. Rack of Feline with Horseradish Crust and Red Wine Jus Lie…$19.99
    Six trimmed cat ribs, ground pepper, spicy horseradish seved in a red wine & scallot jus lie sauce. If we say it’s jus lie…it is.
  2. Bang Banned Chicken with Crushed Pineapples and Succotash…$16.99
    A house favorite. Requested by more customers than anything else we’ve ever dished up.
    Humble Pie…$2.99
    Sorry, but even if you claim to be too full from your meal, we’ll be bringing you out a slice garnished with sour grapes and force feed it to you if necessary.

Nice to know, I guess I learn something new everyday.
That does put a whole new spin on it then. Hmmph. :dubious:

Oh, goodie. We’re still doing this.

So it doesn’t matter one iota that I was right, that I didn’t lie or say anything dishonest, and that I didn’t make with a bunch of insults in that post, it’s that from what you understand I stir the pot that makes you think I was being an asshole?

The only person I saw in that thread who said anything about me stirring a pot was the person who’d like to promise me things.

I’m guessing you wouldn’t be calling even-stevens if the exact same words I posted had been put here by someone else?

Nope, I didn’t even know you had a rep until recently. When I read your initial post you sounded bitchy. When I read Tuba’s post she sounded bitchy. I had no idea who you were. Now I do. I will still treat your words at face value, that is what I tend to do anyway. You seem to take offense pretty easily if a line like "From what I understand, CatSix is known to stir the pot a bit. " makes you think I am calling you an asshole. I am not. I was not.
If lets say Maureen had posted the same thing, a poster I like, know and respect, I still would have thought it was being bitchy. In fact I may have teased her more as I feel I could get away with being snarkier with a poster I am friendly with.

Jim {Maureen please excuse me for using your name in vain, its just that you were the prior poster to catsix. }

You know, What Exit?, it sounds a lot like you are completely ignoring the contents of posts and making a judgment based on their “tone”. WTF? The fact is catsix made a legit point then Tuba called her a shit-stirring liar.

This aspect surfaced during the Stage Manager incident, where TPTB admitted that TubaDiva does get paid, that she does jobs vital to the board’s functioning, and that yes, they knew she was carrying a helluva load. In response, based on my own experience of being an overloaded “indispensable” employee, I strongly urged TPTB to get someone onboard who could take some of the load off Tuba – for the good of her, the board, and all its members. The response to that was, yeh, we realize that and we’re working on it.

But have TPTB done anything to make her life easier? Based on the ATMB quick-fire snarkiness that’s being pitted here, I suspect Jenny hasn’t gotten any relief from the load she’s carrying. Which is bad for her, for the board, and especially for anyone who happens to set off her doubtless frayed and frazzled temper.

Okay, so you run a board with the resources you have, not the resources you wish you had – but dammit, staying status quo on this is doing no one any good. If TubaDiva is indeed still carrying the same load, she needs backup and she needs it now.

Please note: This is not an apologist’s excusing of bad behavior, but an attempt to figure out the (or a) root of the problem and propose a possible (partial?) solution.

I reread that post 180 again. Still sounds bitchy. But this is what I posted then right before TubaDiva Posted. my post is 187, Tubadiva’s is post 188.

My Bolding

So, no I think Catsix was being bitchie but I asked for clarification and partially defended catsix. I think I was being fair. Her initial points proved nothing. I’m not sure what you are accusing me of, but you already have called me either a moron or a brown noser. Strange way of brown Nosing, saying that Tuba was Bitchy.
I really think you, CatSix, Wring and a few others are making “Much Ado about Nothing”. Look at the post Kimera provided if you want to see an unexplained attacked.