Will I appreciate the run this thread had.
I got one more question to ask, I promise this is the last one
What does society now expect from a man?
My question is to make it more clear: For example, what kind of attitudes do you get expected it from your community as a man? How do you as a man contribute to the world around you?
By being a leader? Role model?
Is my question clear or should I explain more?
What “community” would that be? Your place of employment? Your church/synagogue/mosque/temple/coven? Your social clubs? Your service organizations? Your barber shop? Your gym? Your mechanic shop?
“Society” isn’t a monolithic thing–it is a collection of millions of people with millions of different opinions. Maybe you can get most of them to agree that a man is an adult male Homo sapiens. Maybe.
True.
Let’s start maybe high school life for example.
In high school you aren’t a man. (See: adult male Homo Sapiens.)
Right, but isn’t it still important to step up your game?
Also let me clarify, the insecurity of my masculinity has really in a more serious state been going on only for about 5-6 years. This is when I started to lose my will and self-esteem more as a person.
And so my insecurity has been pretty steady for over 2 years now. I am still struggling quite with it.
Nobody gets out of being a teenager without some emotional scars. It’s all part of the process. In what way is your insecurity about masculinity manifesting itself in your day to day high school life? In what way do you find yourself lacking? Describe specific incidents/events as examples.
In high school, the instilling processes turning males into men is in its final routines (See: Socialization, gender)
Luce, by far the most prominent signal of insecurity you’ve shown is your sense that you need to get a passing grade from outside of yourself on this being-a-man thing.
On the one hand, that doesn’t make you unique; it makes you typical. That’s how the masculinity-instilling thing works, in fact, by making nearly every male sufficiently insecure about his gender legitimacy that he starts making some additional effort to resemble the culturally shared notions of what it “means to be a man”.
On the other hand, the fact that this is commonplace doesn’t make it natural, healthy, or obligatory. It really isn’t good for a person’s self-esteem to internalize a bunch of other people’s ideas about how you should be in order to pass as a man.
In fact, if you think you don’t match the operant definition of “what it means to be a man”, you should seriously consider the possibility of saying “So I’m not one. So???”, and shitcanning the whole masculinity sweepstakes altogether. I’m not saying you should necessarily do that, but that you should give yourself room, in your mind, for it being OK to do that. You should dare to question the notion that you should have to “be a man”, if it means anything other than “I have male parts and I grew up to physical adulthood”, because if you’ve never questioned them, if you’ve just blindly accepted them, then they aren’t your notions, it’s not your agenda, and you aren’t your own person but instead just a puppet being trained into being this thing called a “man”.
I agree that some concepts of what it means to be a man are horeshit.
And yeah I try to embrace my personality as much as possible.
Is that what kids today are calling it?
Facepalm
I am pretty sure is always been that way.
@Darren garrison@ if you’re reading, could you give me more advice on how to be more unique without feeling the need to try to fit into whatever random ass group or culture there is please? This is the thing about America, it over-values people by community too much.
Please I really ask for the best advice you could give. Especially coming from a mixed race background and still having trouble exploring my personality.
You can’t control what you feel, you can only control how you act on what you feel. Take the advise of Bob Newhart.