Generic Flame

I have an insane desire to flame certain members, but how will I know if they actually read this forum? Some of them might have the good sense to stay out of here, or just keep their stupid mouths shut even if they do read my rants? (I am, after all, emminently ignorable). Maybe a generic, all encompassing flame will do the trick? Ok.

PLEASE TO BE KISSING MY CRANK, you douchebags! YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE! Buncha damn Cecil wannabees. Blah blah blah, yadda yadda blah blah blah all damn day!

(Yeah, I’m just pissed I haven’t managed to say anything of merit here, and put my foot in my mouth even when I think I have something intelligent to say, I find out I’M WRONG and some mealy-mouthed sumbitch points out my ignorance with a holier-than-thou smirk). Ok. I’m done.

That’s a rant???
When your mama gave birth to you, she should have kept the baby and thrown away the placenta.
You have cobwebs in the windmills of your mind.
AOL was designed for you.
You were kicked out of the Gilligan’s Island fan club because you could pass their I.Q. test.
You read Vos Savant to see if Cecil is right.

So glad to be of service, you rat-faced, slack-jawed, Rogaine-using (in the genital area) mouth breather.

“When the going gets weird, the weird turn pro.”
Hunter Thompson

That was hardly a “holier-than-thou smirk.”

That was clearly a “better-educated-than-thou-smarter-than-thou-and-prettier-than-thou-to-boot smirk.”

And it’s Tommy, not Tommie.


(BTW, you call that Bic© a flame? I’ve been scorched better by my nine-year-old. Of all the luke-warm, half-lit flames I’ve seen in my life: that flame would have disappeared in the overwhelming glow of a lightning bug from a half-mile away. The next time you decide to bring a flame to this board, don’t forget to thaw it for two hours before you wave it around here. (Only time in my life I had to examine a post over the bunsen burner to make sure it wasn’t a chip of ice lodged on my screen.))



groan of empathic pain


Nickrz will be a little late in replying. On the way back from the Sesame Street store at the mall, the escalator broke down, and he’s been stuck for four hours.

“When the going gets weird, the weird turn pro.”
Hunter Thompson

Thank you! I finally did something right. (Well… I got the desired response, anyway).

Btw, I’ve been online for more than 10 years and never gave Steve Case a dime, unlike many
of you half-baked cyberspooks. SO BITE ME.

(Aside to Tomndebb - where the hell IS Debb, anyway? Putting another log on the fire? AND it’s “Nicky” not “Nickie.” AND I hope you saw my carefully worded reply to your gentle correction of my error, I was sorta hoping for some feedback on my graceful acceptance of your superior wisdom on the fallacies of the Catholic faith, but NOOOOOOOOOO, YOU dropped it and left me to squirm in my own shit, bereft of human kindness and understanding, AND if you saw me in those new slingback pumps, you’d know goddamned good and well you ARE NOT prettier than me).
End of story.

I type too slowly to post every potential response. I wasn’t so much ignoring your response as feeling I had nothing to add to it. (I do sympathize with your discovery that Dads are not infallible; I’m trying to let my kids know that right now so they don’t get disillusioned later.) Debb doesn’t participate in these threads, preferring to research herpetology or medicine without getting bogged down in MBs and NGs.

(BTW, human kindness and I are not on speaking terms. They used to have my photo next to curmudgeon in the dictionary, but removed it when they found that kids couldn’t look up curly or currant without getting nightmares. And then there was the problem with all the other curmudgeons complaining that I was too mean to be one of them.)


Yeah, except I like my lips on my face, not rotted off and shriveled up in the garbage can.

Well, I’m sick of all you boneheads who come here looking for validation of some stupid belief like crop circles or alien visitations and then are pissed off and rude when you don’t get it. If you don’t want your cherished notions shaken - go somewhere else!

And if one more person posts a question about using only 10% of our brains - well, I don’t know what I’ll do, but it might involve the use of sarcasm or worse, litotes. READ CECIL, for Void’s sake, SEARCH THE ARCHIVES - after all, he’s the authority here.

OK, so the question is…who’s a troll? Is Nick one for asking a question with no point? Am I one for not backing off when I think I’m right? Is Jeannie one for having asked an insulting question designed to piss people off?

Actually, troll is a polite form we use in forums other than the BBQ Pit to describe someone that pretends to post a query, but in reality wants a group of people that agree with his or her point of view. Here in the Pit, we call them anti-intellectual know-nothings without the brains given a retarded sqirrel.
Nickrz asked a question in a humorous and self depreciating manner, and those of us without an ax to grind had fun with it.

“When the going gets weird, the weird turn pro.”
Hunter Thompson