No biggie, as I’m typo-prone myself. Maybe I should have chosen “Elwood,” since I do like the Blues Brothers.
Defending my profile: I’m not extraordinarily picky, as I don’t have a long checklist of “you must be this, that, and that, and you must be this, that and all these other things” many WSM (and I assume many MSW) profiles have. After all, I did say that “I’m not seeking a clone who shares all my beliefs or interests … just mutual acceptance and joy at each other’s presence.”
Superficially, my ideal match isn’t taller than me, nor does she larger. Physically, in such relationships things seem out-of-whack, and I have this hardwired sense that I need to be a “protector,” just as the majority of women prefer dating men who are taller than they are. As for personality traits, I say “ideally, you’re like …”
My only big dealbreakers are:
Way too young or too old (I’m 38, my preference is to date someone 30 to 42 or 43). Beyond that, there’s either a generation gap, or she really looks and seems much older than me.
“you aren’t a holy roller” : I’m a UU who hasn’t signed the membership roster. Half of my family is Jewish. I don’t want to date a fundamentalist Christian, because in the past they’ve always witnessed and tried to save me. ALWAYS.
“foo-foo glurgey kountry kitschy” : self-exclamatory. I don’t want to live in a kountry kitschy environment, and women that are into that are usually way into that; there’s no compromise.
"pining for an ex: : too many times, I’ve dated somoene who has gone back to the ex-boyfriend.
"extremely reserved: I don’t want to do all the talking on a date.
Too many kids, which I really don’t mention in the ad.
Not legally married (for obvious reasons), or separated but not divorced (knowing my luck, she’ll return to the husband).
Thank you for your graciousness in forgiving my typos, especially in your name. I like the Blues Brothers, too.
I think all of the things you are looking for are perfectly valid, and I am sorry you felt a need to defend them. This is the Pit, afterall, but I didn’t mean that you were being unreasonable. I am only saying that having such a long list, valid or not, can be too much to take in at one time for some people. Better to leave the description in of yourself and be less verbose on what you want. I would save that level of detail for responding to the emails. As you said, you have been doing this for 8 years without much success - just trying to help.
Happy recent birthday, by the way (saw your post in the Bush / marriage thread). Mine was less than a week ago, too.
I would venture, Munch, that they included their email address, and it was politely removed by the nice folks at Match. They’re out to make money, and just like Classmates, they know that people can be forced to cough up for an email address. What the online community needs to do is come up w/ some way of sneaking an email address into text in a way which is undetectable. Perhaps in the background of a pic, or on a shirt the person’s wearing in the pic? I think they screen pics for nudity, but would they catch that? :dubious:
They claim, Portia, that they do not edit or censor email between members at all, that they are straight pass-through. I think I believe it. They’d take an address out of a profile in a hot second if they found it, of course. My suggestion to Munch would be: say in your profile that you can’t respond. I see quite a few that say they’re not members, please provide a way to contact; I’ve not seen that edited out that I can remember.
Let’s see, if I had to describe myself in a personal add.
SWF geek, 26, who likes digital logic design, camping, firearms, video games, long talks about computers, snowball fights and crocheting seeks SWM, 25 - 30, who can answer yes to the following:
Have you ever used *nix?
Do you know what Hoppes Solvent is used for?
Have you ever heard the expression “pack in what you pack out?”
If you are multi-lingual, are any of those languages programming languages?
If you answered ‘Yes’ to the above questions, contact box blabla.
I recently had great luck with another way of meeting people: message boards My main online community (mousepad.mouseplanet.com) has a bunch of disney geeks on it, and someone got the brilliant idea to start a singles thread. From that, we had a singles meet. Okay, so only 4 people attended the first one, but two of them were myself and the lovely man I now call boyfriend. Pretty good success ratio, especially if it’s a community you’re already well established in. People already have a pretty good idea of who you are (are you nasty, bitter, funny, insightful, left-wing, right-wing, laissez-faire, optimistic, goofy, etc), so going into the meet, you may already have a good idea of who you’d like to get to know better. We have this incredible resource at our fingertips, and yet we resort to the anonymity of personal ads! Why?
Well, that was slick. And not exactly umm, hidden either, is it? The censors must not have made it any further than the ladies that responded, eh? They probably all stopped when they found out you didn’t have a trust fund.
Oh, and next time somebody please remind me that opening up a guy’s profile while people are walking by my desk is a fast way to a lot of grief? “Uhh, I’m just looking for some lines to steal. Yeah, that’s it. That’s the ticket.”
Oh, what the hell, everybody else is doing it: me. Well, ladies, am I a psycho?
…Sometimes I really wish there was an edit feature on these boards so I wouldn’t have to double-post.
Just popping back in to say, "DAMN! Munch, if I were single, and you were in California, I’d be all over that profile of yours! How is it you’re not getting responses? (Must be the Neutered-Dame thing ;)) Ah well, it’d never work, I come from a Trojan family (hey, how about that game, eh? ;))
As pertains to my previous post, I think the best thing you can do is to reference your match.com profile on any internet communities you participate in. Put it in your sig or something. You’ve got a good profile written that really gives people a sense of who you are, I can’t imagine it not working for you eventually.
7 and 11, babe, 7 and 11. (7 Heisman trophies, 11 National Championships).
Well, I am having pretty good luck. Most of the e-mails I’ve received were pre-sneaky address placement (that just made it in last week). I had a date last night that went really well, so I’m not giving up hope.
Could I make a suggestion? This sentence seems pretty non-committal as well as pretty fatalist. The fact is, you don’t need it to start tomorrow, you need it to start today - that’s why you’ve written a profile (and everyone else as well). By saying “I don’t need it to start tomorrow” you allow her to delay contact. How’s about something like:
I am looking forward to the process of developing a long term relationship. I’m a patient man, but I’m also anxious to see if we have a connection.
I’m taken, but I’ve been on almost every dating service out there at one point or another.
Meet my boyfriend at a party.
Elmwood, I would change the picture to the one of you with the dog, but I love pics like that. People with animals are more likely to have their pictures clicked by me.
This Year’s Model, the part about you don’t doing chat was the only negative spot I found. It sounds like you don’t like having light little conversations online and that’s how most prospectives get to know each other before dates. Perhaps you should clarify it and say “a phone call is better” or something else so they know how they should go about communicating getting to know you better. I personally like to chat with the guys for a while before going out on dates with them, either through phone calls or aim or email.
I don’t think you are Psycho, Last Year’s Model. However, your ad seems to give the sense of desperation. I get a general feeling that your self esteem is not great. You are making excuses and promises to improve yourself to people you don’t even know. I suggest that you state the facts of status quo and be proud of them, or avoid them. I suggest avoiding the subjects of smoking and exercise all together if you can’t get on one side of the fence or the other. I would leave out the bit about the baggage, too. TMI at this point. Yes, you seem to have a healthy attitude about it, but just the fact that you bring it up makes me feel like it would be a major issue in the relationship. Probably a false impression, but you only get one first impression. Reel them in first with your positives. Everyone else does - this is a competition after all. Just my two cents. I like your smile. You look friendly and warm. Try to show off your sense of humor in what you write.
That’s it! I am hopeless. NO more posting for me today. Sorry about that, THIS Year’s Model :smack: I love that user name, by the way. Much more fun than mine.
Sure. It’s fun–I haven’t bought a car in years but I still read Road & Track. I like to see if I know anybody (I found a couple. One was a friend, one was an acquaintence who posted a LOVELY and gynecologically informative photo). I like to maintain a Plan B for when my wife throws me out. (Okay, it’s Plan C for after all the lovely youngish ladies here laugh at me.) And it’s fun to laugh at the people who are bigger losers than us married folk! I have to check out SCICONNECT. Geek-specific dating? Definite Plan C material!
Guys, here’s some words not to put in your profile (as observed over the last ten minutes by moi!) - irregardless (not a word, really), hottie, sexy, bitchy, and Hi!. Also, what is with these guys who want to hook up w/ someone ten years+ younger than them?? What could an 18 year old woman and a 35 year old guy have that will make them last as a couple? And if all you’re lokoing for is sex, do you really think and 18 year old woman has to go online to find that?? :smack:
My Match username’s 327Portia, by the way, but my profile and pics haven’t been ‘confirmed’ yet.
Anyone want to offer up the reason why all of the responses that I have received so far have been from men far outside of what I clearly stated that I was seeking? It’s either some 5’5", 44 year old from Michigan offering to buy me a plane ticket to visit him, or some 22 year old offering to spank me. Does anyone even read the profile?
Or why have an inordinate number of the replies included the phrase “your hot”? Of course, the spelling of “your” in the phrase has differed, but has consistently not been “you’re”. I’m thinking of changing my profile to read, “female serial killer seeks fat, bald men to mutilate and kill in a sacrifice to Pan,” and see if I get better, or at least different responses.
Any help anyone wants to toss out would be appreciated. Really, I’m funny, I’m intelligent, I don’t have a 3rd eye. Why can’t I get at least one decent response?
furt, I found your profile to be quite entertaining. Were you a local, I’d definitely drop you a wink. Not to sound trite, but keep your head up - some lucky lady will come along and snap you up.
My main online community (