Now THERE’S a line to steal. I like it. Consider it done.
Thanks all for the good advice, and I do think all of it is good.
ava, the chat line is brand new. You’re right that it could be offputting, now that I think about it. I will add something about phone calls, which really is my preferred way to start out. There’s just something about computer chat; it’s not for me.
The other good advice I’ll think about. Thanks for the compliment, chrisk72. That makes one compliment and two insults on the user name. Things are looking UP! The smoking bit has been an ongoing story. I partially rewrite this every week. You may be right about yanking it.
I’m now home, and safe from kibitzers. I’m off to look at all the other brave people’s profiles!
I am going against what I said about not posting anymore today, but I will take my time this time. furt - I loved your ad! I loved your main picture. Your other picture doesn’t ad much. If you can, try to replace it with something a little more flattering. I only saw a couple of issues - you misspelled friends - twice. Not good for someone with a Master’s in English. You mention your trip to Asia twice. Makes me wonder if that is all you can talk about, like the girl with her “One time, at Band Camp”, you would be all “Well, when I was in Asia…” every other story you tell. Last thing - you went too far in the opposite direction as far as telling us what you want. You should fill out the “about my date” area at least.
furt, I’m not your target audience, but it seems just a little over the top. Your sense of humor is great, but it’s all humor.
jay-c, I thought your profile was just flat out fascinating! Of course I’m in Colorado, I’m 46, I don’t ski, but hey!, how do you feel about spanking? Seriously, I can’t see why decent men aren’t responding in droves, unless… maybe… the “definitely” on kids. Sometimes men interpret that as “I want to become a baby machine tomorrow!” There’s no reason to change it, I just thought it might explain something. I thought maybe you weren’t casting your net wide enough, but 20 miles should cover the bulk of Columbus, shouldn’t it?
Portia, nice job, especially for something I assume you slammed out in a hurry. You made a comment about age earlier - both of my LTRs were with women in their late 30s. The live in started when I was 19, and the marriage at 30. I just don’t want to leave out the age group it seems I’ve had my best luck with. My brother once made the comment that I was attracted to older women; I rebutted that it was the age that got me. I don’t know which of us was right.
I think what we can all agree on is this - there should be something personal and specific in your ad that resonates with someone else so much they feel they could respond in kind. And that’s a good portent, no?
I’ve had to learn to overlook grammar and spelling errors in profiles, because I understand writing one is nerve-wracking/frustrating/embarrassing for most people. Since a great flaw of mine is trying to be right at the expense of being kind, that was a big step for me.
What I’d pit now is the question about NBA teams. WTF? Is there some kind of advertising deal between the NBA and Match??
I’m 33 and “seeking 25 to 33.” When I do a search, I get a lot of 27 and 28 year olds, some of which interest me. It’s only when I look that I see they are seeking only up to 29 or 30, and thus I do not respond. They don’t look. An acquaintance of mine who as been doing this longer swears by the “shotgun” approach. Of course his ambitions are umm… rather more immediate than my own.
Because, according to the photos, you are. My response to photo #1 was an audible “Holy Shit.”
Because they are illiterate knuckletrouts. Consider it a weeding tool.
My problem with personal ads is with my reccord of dating the whole ‘getting to know a women for a while then dating’ has resulted in a wild roller coaster ride of insanity, emotional trauma and just simply bizzare happenstances.
How am I supposed to weed out the total crazies judging from a few line blurb of text?
Then there’s the converse… How would I write a personal ad that wouldn’t be totally insane and scary.
Lets be honest here…
24 SWM seeking Single Female 21-28, enjoys research science (virology) (for fun and profit!) --bacterialogists are dirty – B horror/scifi movies, exploring ruins/graveyards and persuit of the perfect drink. Please do not respond if you are extremely religious, into infliction ritual emotional damage on men, necrophilia, beastiality, currently institutionalized homicidial tendancies or off your meds for psychotic scitzophrenia.
My reasoning behind this:
PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF GOD DO NOT BE INSANE!
I’m an athiest who doesn’t understand the fundamentals of faith.
I like watching bad movies and drinking.
The science is mentioned because I’m a science geek and the vast majority of my life is spent in the lab (as much as I want out sometimes)
NO CRAZIES!
Kinky is perfectly ok! However, there is such a think as TOO kinky. I don’t want to go there again thank you.
You know, it strikes me that too many of us are victims of bad geography. Either you all need to move into my apartment building, or we need jet packs so we can meet cool Dopers in other states for dinner every night!
I agree. Certain areas have certain types of people; and certain other types are going to have a relatively harder time finding like-minded people. (i.e a political conservative in SF, a outdoors person in NYC). Part of why I’m looking to move out of Orlando.
Change your range from “20 miles” to “300 miles” and I’d certainly be interested Seriously, I am totally stumped as to why you don’t get decent responses…around here, you would be considered very wantable. OK, by me anyway.
“Hi, I’m a kind of creepy-looking guy who is trapped between wanting to stay being 25 but looks like he’s 45. I stay at home every evening and hate going out. I watch DVDs and read comic books and hang around on the internet feeling miserable and lonely. I masturbate regularly. I hate going shopping, don’t eat hardly anything, am kind of skinny and weird, and work in Pornography. And if you think I’m making any of this up, then you’re in for a big surprise.”
Well, prompted by the thread here and the one in MPSIMS, I signed up for Match.com, for friendship only. (I’m afraid I’d be a psycho-magnet if I signed up for dating.)
I’ve always had such weird hours, so I have a hard time meeting anyone to talk about anything other than sports or what’s on Jerry Springer (that’s what all the ex-co-workers—with the exception of a couple—would talk about). So, I wrote up a fun little profile, rambling about all the weird things that interest me. Either I’ll never get any responses (I half-expect this), or I’ll get some interesting ones from men and women between 18-109, who are interested in talking about art and stuff. We’ll see!
One thing I’ve noticed on the profiles: The “turn-ons” almost always include Thunderstorms. Oh. My. Gosh. I wish someone would not choose thunderstorms for a change! Also, no one “likes” fleas (in the pets section). I was half-tempted to say that I had fleas, just for a change, but did the boring thing and said that, no, I didn’t like fleas. What a radical opinion.
I just got an email from Match.com. They wanted me to “make a few edits” to my profile. I’d also put my email address in my profile but I was caught. So obviously it’s not something Match.com wants anyone to do.
Huh. Portia got away with it, right in the body of the message. Maybe it depends on who’s reading it. I am astonished at how quickly they look at the new ones. I pay them, and it takes three days to get changes approved.
furt, I’m going to be in Orlando 1/31 - 2/3. We should grab dinner if our schedules allow.
On another note, why doesn’t someone start a singles thread 'round here? I mean, if we can organize Dopefests, can’t we organize a Single Dopers Night? I’ll volunteer to get something going for single Ohio Dopers…
– B horror/scifi movies, exploring ruins/graveyards and persuit of the perfect drink. Please do not respond if you are extremely religious, into infliction ritual emotional damage on men, necrophilia, beastiality, currently institutionalized homicidial tendancies or off your meds for psychotic scitzophrenia.
I did.
Seriously, I am totally stumped as to why you don’t get decent responses…around here, you would be considered very wantable. OK, by me anyway.