If a guy bitches that his date is 20 lbs. more than he expected from an online profile, he needs to pull his head out of his ass.
But seriously, it’s a complicated answer. I don’t doubt that women who describe themselves as “athletic and toned” and “slender” are being accurate.
But I do think there’s a lot of women who are “a few extra pounds” who put themselves in “about average” though. But it’s a huge gray area, and if a guy isn’t willing to accept that, he just needs to stick solely to the “a&t” and “slender”, to free up the rest of the normal girls for me. What it comes down to is confidence - if you put “about average” down, but sound like a sap, you’re not going to get any response back from me. If you put “a few extra pounds” down and sound really interesting, you’ll hear back - I guarantee.
As for you, Obsidian, stick with “curvy”, and add an addendum in your profile if it concerns you. I’ve had some great conversations with women via match who don’t have pictures and label themselves as “Other”, and when they send me to their Yahoo photo gallery, are drop-dead gorgeous.
Oh, and to clarify, I don’t see anything wrong with “curvy”. Do a quick “I’m a guy looking for a woman” search for “curvy” and take a look at your competition. Do the same for the rest of the categories. See where you fit. It may lead you to a category you may not have normally put yourself in, or be the most accurate. But remember, tomatoes are stocked with the vegetables at the supermarket instead of with the fruit with whom they belong.
Well, on my profile, even though it may be “about average” for men in my age group to have a larger stomach than we used to, realistically it’s “a few extra pounds”, so that’s what I picked. Fortunately, the beard hides the incipient double chin.
When I’m looking at women’s profiles, I expect to see anything from an about average woman who thinks she’s got some extra because she’s not a size 4, on up to almost stocky. Of course there are some that delude themselves; there’s no shortage of men doing that either. But I expect to see a wide variety of shapes in that description, and I’d think most men do.
Just put what you feel most comfortable with, is my advice. If someone likes you, they’ll like you anyway. And if they don’t, simply because you don’t fit whatever picture they had in their head, the hell with 'em. You would probably find some other problems with what they had in their head, anyway.
I don’t know about that. I went all-out geeky in my emode/tickler profile , and I’ve gotten a few very interesting hits. Granted, I don’t get many hits at all (half a dozen a year, but that’s fine with me – I’m in no rush at the moment), but the hits I do get have sparked a few very good conversations, and I’ve retained a couple a very cool pen pals from across the country from my profile that I correspond with on a regular basis. YMMV, of course
As for the OP, I agree completely. Wading through all the uninteresting profiles seems to be a time-consuming excercise in masochistic banality. I only do so when extremely bored and lethargic, myself.
Well, damn. I just got my first email, from a really nice-sounding lady who signed up for “friends” as well. She really sounds like she’d be someone I’d want to know—interested in art, likes to yak, blah, blah, blah. (I “winked” at her earlier today.) But damn, damn, damn, she didn’t give me any contact information.
Is there any way that one of you who is a member could relay a message to her? I don’t want to break any match.com rules, but if there is a way, I’d love to get a message back to her without having to sign up. (I guess I would sign up if I encountered a whole lot of nice people, but I can’t justify it for just one person.)
So, if any of you think that you can help (if it’s feasable) please email me. Thanks!
I have quite the excess of pen-pals from all over the country. What I’m having difficulty with is finding actual, real guys in Pittsburgh who say they like geeks and aren’t lying.
I took it down for a while. I got a little overwhelmed with the amount of email I had received, so I hid my profile to catch up. Unfortunately, it was the standard “your hot” or emails from men far outside of my age preference, daring me to break from my requirements and email them back. :smack:
By far the oddest email message was from a man in a wheelchair who flat out told me that I wasn’t his ideal match, because I am divorced and have a child. But, he said, he was willing to “deal with” my “issues” because “relationships are about sacrifice.” What is sad though, is that his profile was interesting, and I had no problems with him being in a wheelchair, but the angry and offensive tone of his email was a total turnoff.
Anyway, I’m back again . Some people just don’t know when to give up. That’d be me.
In all honesty, I’d give some thought to trying a test run without a photo posted. Put something in your profile that says you’d be happy to forward a photo upon request, but in the meantime you’d like to remain anonymous. I’m sure it would cut down on the crazies and the drive-by users who are just looking for sex. People doing actual searches based on your profile, criteria and characteristics are (I would think) be most likely to be matches and be serious about finding a match, than people doing searches just of photos. And think of the suprise that that nice guy who has taken the time to do that and starts a sincere correspondence will have when you send him your picture!
You have a great profile, but the pictures are just so damned distracting!
I just sort of wrote it, as it came to me, hoping to capture myself. The last time I tried online dating, it was fun. I met some interesting people, and one very hot guy. Granted, it’s only been a few days, but the replies I’ve gotten have all been so. . .er. . .generic. “ur profile is interesting. check out mine and hit me back.” Then I look at their profile and it doesn’t seem much like they actually looked at mine.
Link didn’t work, but I figured it out. What an amazing profile! Puts mine all to shame. I’m lucky you’re not in MY area! After the great creativity and thought you put into it, that’s crappy that you’re just getting carpetbombed thoughtlessly. It’s because you’re pretty that they’re not reading, just reacting. I hope for your sake that changes, Match ain’t cheap! (And as you and I both know, smart, cool, fun, clever, good-looking and LOCAL men are hard to come by!) FYI, Match will also try to catch email addresses in emails sent through them and replace them w/ the Match email address. It’s their prerogative, but I’m sure you can find a way around it. Paragraph breaks don’t seem to fit into their ‘so many characters’ world.
Hey, isn’t Kevin Smith in Jersey? He’d be a fun date, if not for the wife!
Fun date indeed. Didn’t he photograph his wife nekkid for Playboy? I can just hear him on a date “no, really, they are very tasteful and artistic, and I’m sure you’ll really enjoy yourself once you lose your inhibitions. Here, have another glass of wine…”
Thanks! I don’t recal seeing your profile, must hunt now. . .
Btw, I get winks from people who are really (really) far away from me. Should I have mentioned I don’t like long-distance relationship? I hate them. And the telephone.
Kevin Smith is definitly from Jersey, and I’ve actually been to the QuickStop in Redbank from Clerks. (Out of state students always wanted to see it, so i’ve driven there a few times). I don’t miss Jersey, though. Way, way too cold.
Portia, I’m still not convinced of that. I’ll send you an email with my address in it(in clear), let us know if it makes it or not.
Obsidian, the same people that are not reading your profile to see if they have anything in common with you are going to not read your profile to see if they’re within your preferred distance, either. It’s a nice profile, though, and I think it’ll work.
I see a lot of profiles that either start with or have near the beginning “Please READ my profile.” The shotgun approach must be a big problem for all women on match. Just don’t follow the reasoning, myself.
TYM,
Just got yours, and yes, YOUR email address came through; that isn’t always the case. The following are cut & paste, so you’ll just have to trust me on their veracity (the names have been changed to protect the guilty.)
Anyway, I’d love to hear from you. Here’s my regular email: wolverineXX@talkmatch.com.
Mike
Well let me give you my real email …It is: thisXguyX@talkmatch.com
My email address is: singlebrianXX@talkmatch.com Brian
Now, it’s possible they’re inserting the Match addresses themselves, but…I doubt it.
Maybe it had to do w/ my not being a paying member until a few days ago.
When I was on match.com, I sent out about 20 e-mails to different women whose profile I found interesting. I carefully read each one, picked out things I liked about the profiles, then wrote a “tailored” e-mail. I did not receive a single reply.
Then I talked to a guy a friend of mine worked with. He carpet-bombed just about every woman’s profile who seemed to have a pulse. Of course, he was getting dates left and right. Moral: you can’t win if you play by the rules. sigh
OK, well judging from the context in your quotes, they really were putting in the real address, so you must be right and I’m wrong. Darn. And chalk up another thing about match, as they do state explicitly that they do not look at or view the emails.
