Genital Naming- what's the deal?

Am I the only one who thinks genital names are really funny? Think about the word “PENIS”. It sounds like a beautiful flower. On the other hand, “VAGINA”. ugh. What could sound more like a deadly disease, really?

"My grandmother is in the hospital with a horrible case of ‘vagina’ so I’m taking her this lovely bouquet of ‘penises’.

Now, doesn’t that sound much better and more appropriate? I detest having to say the word vagina most of the time, but love to say the word penis. Luckily both have plenty of other ‘pet names’.

How many of you have named your own genitals? Like I’ve known many men on a friendly basis who have pet names for their penis… like Fred or Alexander. Does anyone else do this or am I simply a victim of too much Midwestern pollen?

OfficeGirl’s Cubicle Farm

“Argue for your limitations; sure enough, they’re yours.”

I had an old girlfriend who named my genitalia - Peety and the Twins.

One complete set of morals for sale to highest bidder, new in box.

An ex names his ‘stanley’ after the power tool. scvoj 'pd’b

OH SORRY, I fell on the keyboard laughing.
Mm always called a penis ‘the teapot’, so if brother hurt his crotch, he hurt his ‘teapot’
adf;kjhgpekugh c’aoir
oh, fell again!

I have often heard women refer to the bosoms as ‘the ladies’,

How about the popular ones:
hairy clam

got more?

Yep, my penis has a nickname. The nickname is “Junior.” This is when I’m not referring to it in the possessive, such as “my schwanz,” “my dick,” “my penis,” or “the meat-seeking moisture missile.”

My ex-girlfriend (of 5 years) had a name for her vagina and other crotch equipment. The name was “Ginger.” No, she wasn’t a redhead. A former boyfriend had named his penis “Fred,” and decided they worked so well together that they were just like Fred Astaire and Ginger Rogers. She told me that in fact Fred was a quadroplegic midget so the name wasn’t really apt, but the name Ginger stuck.

Over time, I took to switching off between calling it “Ginger” and “Beaver.” I said it in a cutesy baby-talk voice, so don’t think I’m a truck-driving redneck or anything. Eventualy the name Beaver became appropriate. She preferred to be clean-shaven, y’see, but got lazy after a few years. So Ward would come home and say “June, have you seen the Beaver? He needs a shave.”

There was also a phase where I was referring to myself (not my penis) as “Canyon Man,” so she became my “canyon.”

While I’ve only had a handful of partners, I have to say she was the absolute best lay I could have asked for, and I miss her terribly.

–Da Cap’n
wants a relationship

Hmmm - that’s what I named my “power tool.” It has such a ferocious buzz…

The reason gentlemen prefer blondes is that there are not enough redheads to go around.

Designated Optional Signature at Bottom of Post

Ummm, Cap, I dunno, but this may fall under the category of “too much information.” :slight_smile:

Penis does not make me think of flowers - it makes me think of what it is. And I like the word vagina much better than the word penis. I thought a lot of men called them “Johnsons.” My boyfriend’s name is Rick, and I call his Little Ricky. When I discuss sex with my girlfriend, we call them “things,” as in “how big is his thing” Don’t have a name for my vagina. As for boobs, I call them boobs, as do the women I know.

Mr. Rilch calls his penis “Marvin the Wonder Helmet.”

Remember, I’m pulling for you; we’re all in this together.
—Red Green

I name mine BigLou or LittleLou, depending on what mood I’m in.

Right now, LittleLou.

Mine is named Richard for obvious reasons.

Beware a woman who refers to ger genitalia as her “cunt.” VERY disturbing!

Yer pal,

Ahem, as an avowed romance writer I also read a lot of it. I’ve heard a lot of euphemisms like (and these are in the general reference category):

Throbbing manhood
pulsing manhood
or just plain manhood (no sprinkles!)
his sex
her sex (gee, are they having it or what?)
really vague stuff like “down there” (Australia?)
But the very best I ever read was (drum roll please)
The mark that made her woman (I always thought this was like a scarlet A branded into her crotch or something!)

Now, when I write mainstream I have to be vague too (shit, my mom edits my work!) and it gets sorta silly after a while. When I write erotica I can be more blunt and more creative. This is sorta stream of consciousness so forgive me! :slight_smile:

pearl for clitoris. It sounds sexy! Also button, clit, jewel
Buds for nipples
sweater pies for breasts
succulent orbs for breasts or a good ass
cock, prick, tool, rod, pile driver, lance, knob, weapon, arrow, pecker, blade, cream stick, sugar stick, flute for gee, I wonder?
arse, puckered hole, rossette, brown berry
cunny, bush, cunt, pussy, muff, slit, alley, box, muffin, cave, den, chamber, cooze, cranny, gash, flower, honey pot, happy valley

but my favorite so far in describing an activity is:
kneel at the alter

I have no names for my own genitalia. Perhaps tweakies (for my breasts) and the slippery ride (I always get wet when I work!) I guess I’m just a lusty babe! :wink:

kellibelli wrote: got more?

Is that like the “got milk” campaign? He he he he!

Mine asked to be called MR Tibbs


ok there was this movie way back in the sixties…aw ferget it :slight_smile:


Willie the one-eyed Wonder Worm

The flesh flashlight (to explore the Pink Canals)

The bone flute


The vein-mapped baloney pony with his hairy saddlebags

I used to call mine Russle the Love Muscle…now I just call it Kal El.

You say “cheesy” like that’s a BAD thing.

Old, joke, but apt…

People name their private parts because they don’t want their lives controlled by a total stranger.

Having shared that little gem, I’ll heroically get back on topic. Personally, I prefer the blunt medical names, though I must admit the female terminolgy is a bit imprecise in, uh, well, most situations of application. Let’s face it, the vagina ain’t all that’s happening. (Same w/ men, okay, but the penis is the major focus, so to speak.)

NIcknames seem fine between the people involved, but frankly sound stupid and precious to those outside the game.I’m talking about the stupid, “I call my pants ‘Burger King’ 'cause they’re the home of the Whopper!” Honk, honk, honk.

An old girlfriend used to call my penis “chipper”, because she chipped her tooth on it when giving me a BJ. That’s my story, and I’m sticking with it.

robertfhm– are you sure it wasn’t your vibrator? Or perhaps one of your strap-on tools? :wink:

Wow, Chipper.
Forget a boner, that was the definitive diamond cutter.

Hot throbbing vein leaden meat pipe

Don’t let the loveless ones sell you a world wrapped in grey.