The “What are your litmus tests for screening or ending dates?” thread got me to thinking about this very weird subject.
I’m not talking about on a message board or in a doctor’s office, but in the bedroom or in an intimate relationship?
My own: Cock, it, or me. (As in “suck me.”) NEVER dick or penis.
Hers: Pussy, cunt, kitty, it, you. (As in “I want to put it in you.”) With certain past women, cookie, flower.
Cock and pussy. She blanches at the word cunt, and both of us feel the word penis is too wimpy sounding for what it really means and does.
Miss V and Junior.
Dick and “it”. I call her boobs Carl and Bob but she calls them Victoria and…something i can’t remember. Why man names, you ask? Cuz it’s like walking into my favorite bar and seeing the regulars already saddled up to the bar. I promptly take a spot between them. I told my mother this, who then looked directly at my GF’s rack and yelled “NORM!!!”
Same here.
Although, he’s a huuuuge fan of 2001 so from time to time I’ll make monolith jokes. Also “bone flute,” thanks to the boys in my “sexy Magic: The Gathering” thread. But I don’t think I’d use either of those euphemisms during the act.
“Thor’s Hammer” and “Blissful Valhalla.” Alternatively, “hoo dangle” and “hoo hoo dilly.”
Boris and Natasha
“Mr. Bojangles” and “Madame de Vajayjai.” Other times “The Monsignor” and “Lady Palourde-Barbue, the Marchioness of Twatshire.”
Oh, no, not really. It’s “Stephen” and “Jacinda.”
My penis is “George”. It is a play on the Loony Tunes cartoon with two dogs that was a play on Of Mice & Men. The big, dumb dog says he wants a “bunny wabbit” and he will:
“love him and hold him,
squeeze him and pet him,
and call him George”
I refer to Mrs Monkeys privates as Virginia.
Do they come when you call?
I think you misspelled a word.
No real names, just ‘stuff’ as in ‘touch my stuff’ or ‘I love your girl stuff’.
When more direct, we usually say “cock” for his and “girl parts” for mine.
Cats.
It’s sad when I guy doesn’t recognize a couple of pussies when he sees them.
We use “The Creature” for my husband’s creature, because it has a mind of its own. (My teenage son has taken to calling his the creature as well, so we now have Mr. Creature and Creature Junior.) Saying “Can I play with the creature when we get home” is sure to get giggles from my family and baffled looks from everyone else.
Also, Yoni, for my genitalia, because it’s the only word I’ve ever found that wasn’t used as a put-down or insult, was considered non-derogatory, was easily pronounced, and was acceptable in polite society. It’s also a pretty word, in my opinion.
Cock for him.
Pussy, or cunt for me. Alternately, Phoebe. No particular significance to the name. The name just sort of seemed right, so one day I told my (then current, now-ex), “I’ve decided to name my vagina Phoebe”, and he said the name suits her, and that was that.
in general discussion, the wife has a “hoo ha” and I have “junk”.
During the act, it gets much much cruder.
Welcome to the boards! Can I get you something? A cold drink? Fur-lined handcuffs?
I wish I could believe that “my mother” was another euphemism for your girlfriend’s vagina, but it’s clearly not. That’s really creepy.
We don’t have special names, just all the normal four-letter words when we’re horny.
I would be scarred for life if I ever found out what my parents called my dad’s penis.
I used to date a girl that referred to her boobs and vagina as Flopsy, Mopsy and Peter Cotton-Tail.
Thanks for the welcome!
If you can get me a hefeweizen and a new boyfriend, I’d be obliged