My brother and his wife gave me a couple of blue ceramic serving dishes. They are both pretty and very useful.
Wine Fridge
My sister got married in 1987 and my gift was a VCR. I don’t think that would be appreciated as much nowadays.
I’m getting married within a few months and my brother has a Master’s in music; I haven’t found a venue yet, but when I do, and if it has a piano, his gift to me will be his musical services during the ceremony. (Why pay three hundred bucks for a pianist when you have one who can be made to do it for nada?)
If I find a venue that’s piano-free, I would expect my brother to make me a groovy mix CD of music to be played during my reception, and perhaps a random lamp/rug/whatever off my registry list. I don’t expect him to go any further, or spend any more money, than my other relatives. He’s a musician. He isn’t wealthy.
I don’t see why a brother has special gift-giving requirements at a sibling’s wedding. Unless he’s extraordinarily wealthy and awesome, in which case the OP wouldn’t have asked.
Yeah, pretty much. Most of the registry gifts we got were from friends of our parents, parents of our friends, and relatives we only see at holidays. That is, people who can’t reasonably know us well enough to feel confident picking things out, and who can’t reasonably be expected to care enough to worry about it too much. In those cases, I’m just pleased and touched we were important enough to them that they wanted to get us something at all. But I like to think that the blood relatives I shared a home with for nearly 2 decades think I’m worth the hassle of putting in a little thought and effort.
And ftr in the case of people who shop off my Amazon list at Christmas, those are exactly the thoughts in play–I know this for a fact, because they tell me so. To my face. In precisely so many words. Which doesn’t really bother me, because it’s mostly people who fit in one of the categories I listed above. It bothers my husband a lot, though, because he gets it from pretty much everybody but me. And there really is something hurtful about your own mom saying, in essence, “I can’t be arsed to even try to think of something you’d like.”
Audrey, I don’t think anybody is saying that the OP is expected to spend more money on his sister than other wedding guests, just that he’s expected to spend more effort. Like your brother doing the music for your wedding–that won’t cost him a dime, but it will cost him a fair bit of time and thought. Hell, all my brother gave me was a hug the last time he saw me before the wedding and a long-distance phone call, and those meant more to me than anything he could buy. Because he hates hugging people and talking on the phone. Hates them. He hugs me maybe once a decade if he’s feeling especially touchy-feely, and he had never once in all our lives called me on the phone before then. Like I said, it’s the thought that counts, and in this case the thought was “she’s worth stepping way outside my comfort zone for.”
A case of really good champagne. We do tend to like the fruits of the vine as a family, and newly married couples tend to have amazing dinner- and stemware, yet no money to create meals that do the place settings justice. (Also I toastmastered/MCed the entire damn thing, that has to count for something.)
My brother got me a print of “Bond of Union” by M.C. Escher - http://www.mcescher.com/Gallery/recogn-bmp/LW409.jpg
My wife and I got my sister one of the large serving dishes off her registry. (It cost more than just a place setting). With only a week to go before the wedding, nobody had selected the Waterford serving knife for her cake off her registry, so we got that, too. (As it turns out, my sister decided that same day to get it herself, so she had two–but she was able to return one of them).
We also gave her a matching set of Waterford champagne glasses for her wedding toast as an engagement present.
I’m all about cash gifts at weddings, and consumables as gifts to everyone, but not for a sibling’s wedding gift. I think you should give siblings wedding gifts that they’ll have for many years, if not forever.
To answer the specific question, I bought my sister a very nice set of stainless cookware to replace her collection of Targetware. Shit, I still have a collection of Targetware. First reaction may be that I’m a sexist asshole, but it was something that she really wanted.
I gave my brother a hand turned wooden vase made by an artist that I saw him admire at an art-fest we went to together. Plus, I spent about a shit-ton of money on his bachelor party.
It’s hard to give a meaningful gift, but if you really think about it, you can probably come up with one. My preference for a sibling wedding gift is to be tangible, but an “experience gift” isn’t bad if it’s semi-unique.
Why not a box of wine? Nothing says classy like a good old box-o-wine.
My now brother-in-law gave us a picture album. We opened it up and there were 5 dollar bills in each of the pockets. Later on that night we counted over $500! Paid for our honeymoon, it did.
When I am looking at a registry, I usually think “I’ll leave the big/expensive stuff for the immediate family.” So I would not be surprised, shocked or saddened if I got the most expensive thing on my registry from my brother.
The only thing he’d need to do to make my day special would be to show up, have a great time, take pictures with me and dance with me. The consumables would not matter.
Nothing but the finest from Cardboard Valley.
My brother and I were roommates (along with another friend) during the year before my wedding–we were all in graduate school in the same city (my fiance was in another city). All three of us roomies used to like to troll around in some of the antique and “junque” shops in the area where we lived. On one of these expeditions I pointed out an antique bench that I particularly liked. My bro went back later and purchased it as a wedding present (I think it was about $800 if that’s relevant). I think that’s the kind of thing folks mean by a “personal,” not-from-registry present.
(Incidentally, my mom purchased a glass pitcher from the same shop and gave it to me at my bridal shower.)