Zebra, I agree with you about not letting girls get embarrassed if you like them. I think it’s so special when a guy does that. I’m kind of a nerdy girl, who’s always making silly comments when I’m in a group of friends. My boyfriend is great about that- He’s always saying something quick and whitty right after me so it looks to everyone else like I know what the hell I am talking about.
I think the true key to Gentlemanly behavior is a matter so simple as being good mannered. It means taking stock of any given situation and taking small steps to insure the comfort of those around you. Hold a door if it’s appropriate. Don’t do things that call attention to your mannerliness, such as running to a door, for the purpose of opening it.
It’s courtesy, and consideration and doing what you can to make others comfortable and at ease. Opening doors, offering a drink or refreshment, aiding with cumbersome coats are all proactive gentlemanly things to do. Avoiding excess of drink or food, failing to take advantage of a person in a compromised position, not insisting on your way are all passive gentlemanly things to do.
The only thing that is different between ladylike behavior and gentlemanly behavior is that traditional the male role assumes that you will take initiative, while the female role assumes reticence.
The SF weekly has a columnist called Social Grace, who I just adore. Mr. Social Grace is a charming and well spoken beacon of civility. 3 stars, check him out.
One of the createst courtesies that you can extend to me is never to utter the expression “women’s lib” in my presence. Please don’t be so flippant about the thirty-three years (and counting) that I have spent explaining and re-explaining why I just want to be respected as a human being and not as a woman or “lady.”
I have never heard a woman snap at anyone for holding the door for her. It would never enter my mind to be so rude and I doubt that it would for other women. Frankly, I think that men who make such claims are a little free with the truth. And certainly any woman who objected to having a door held for her would not then refer to herself as a “lady.” That is so bogus.
If you wish to treat me with courtesy, then laugh at my jokes, wink at me from across the room, ask my opinion, let me know when you like my perfume, read aloud to me, build a fire, remember my favorite wine, put the top down on the convertible when the moon is high, sing love songs absent-mindedly, give me one of your shirts to sleep in, dance with me under the waterspout in our own backyard during a summer shower, tuck autumn leaves into my hair, cry when you hear a song that I wrote, give me a grandchild, and another, and another and another…
Push in my chair??? My ass!!!
so Zoe I should push in your ass when you sit down, and sleep with all your daughters ( give me a grandchild, and another, and another and another…), then put leaves in your hair and light a fire?
This “Gentleman” thing is trikier than I expected…
Yes, but from the second story “privvy”. And it would be tossed towards the middle of the street. Thus the pedestrian on the streetside of the walk sould be the most likely hit from above and splashed from the street.
<Why do I even remember so much about this sort of thing?>:confused:
A quick search resulted in simply “dangers of the road” kind of language. Perhaps horses were more of a concern. I really don’t know why I remember the privvy refuse version. my mind works in mysterious ways sometimes.
Bippy, it’s a long story. I guess I did get a little carried away. 
You push. I’ll pull.