Monday night, Mouse_Spouse stubbed his toe. It hurt a lot and became very swollen. We iced it and kept him off of his feet as much as possible. Tuesday, the toe was bruised and swelling hadn’t abated.
“Honey, I think it’s broken. Maybe you should see the doctor.”
“Nah, its fine. Even if it was broken, they couldn’t do anything.”
This morning, I noticed that the bruise had spread from the original area to other toes.
“Does it hurt?”
“No. Just a numb tingling.”
I insisted that he see someone about it. While I have no medical training, the spreading concerned me and a co-pay is worth the pace of mind. He has an appointment later today.
Is there a reason why some men resist seeing a medical professional?
I know women who avoid seeing the doctor as well, because “they always find something wrong with me.” Is this a factor with men as well?
Mods: If this subject has been covered recently, and I missed it, please close this thread. Thank you.
There are lots of reasons men don’t go to see med professionals. Ego, fear are probably the top. I got over that quickly, because I want to live to be a great grand dad.
Personal I find it a PITA. I have to call the doctor, setup an appt, remember the appt, get time off work, get to the appt on time, talk to the receptionist, wait in the waiting room, go to a smaller room, wait in smaller room, then - finally - see the doctor.
It’s easier to just wait and see if it goes away on its own.
I go to the doctor if I’m sick or injured. I’ve done very little of either. I’ve been to the doctor twice In the last nine years. I went when I developed a pilonidal cyst, and when I had pneumonia. Before that, it had been about twenty-five years since I was in a doctor’s office. (I had to go to the ER twice, though, for injuries.)
Actually, I wouldn’t recognize my doctor if I saw him on the street. I don’t even know where his office is now - he’s moved twice since I was there last.
In this case, your husband was right. Until further evidence - spreading numbness - there was no point in seeing a doctor. At my wife’s insistence, I made a doctors appt once when I may have broken a toe. They said exactly what I had told her, and your husband told you. “Well, we can’t really do anything about it even if it is broken, so there is little point in an xray. Just try taping it to the larger toe next to it.”
In general, I do not go to a doctor when it will do little good. Why go through the hassle, expense, and risk of contacting something seriouis, when they can do little for you. If I went in for a cold - Me: “Doc. I have a bad cold.” Doc: “Yep, you do. I could give you antibiotics, but I shouldn’t. Take an over the counter decongestent, and drink plenty of fluids.” Me: Ok." What’s the point?
I’d go if I got sick from some bacteria, but other than the occasional cold, I don’t get sick. I go when I’m busted in some sense they can fix. I am seeing a pain specialist for my current form of brokeness. Before I turned 40, I did not go for physicals. I read a study once showing that general physicals not involving specific tests (prostate exam, breast exam, etc.) have never been shown to have quantifiably improve your health. If you are too young for those specific tests, why go? You can take your own blood pressure, and pulse.
That’s my take as well. Plus, the Dr. always seems to minimize things. I just went to the doctor yesterday with a sinus infection that was moving into my chest:
“Has it lasted longer than a week?”
“No, just a few days”
“Any fever?”
“Not that I know of”.
“Any bleeding from the eyes or body parts falling off?”
“No”
I am not afraid to go see the doctor – quite the contrary, I want to know what the heck is messed up that’s causing me problems.
That stoic, “I’m a man and ignore pain” crap is for little kids. I’m an adult; I’ll be feeling enough pain throughout my life that I’m not letting my ego talk me into suffering some more.
… and it has turned out very well for me, going to see the doctor when it was just slightly swollen toe, mysterious achyness, twinges of pain, etc. Found out it was a nasty infection once, and unknown-to-me pneumonia twice. The latter twinge of pain in my back had bugged me while working out, for a week, so I stopped at my doctor’s on the way home (his office is next to the Y). The diagnosis wasn’t quick, but once made was very succinct:
Nurse Practitioner: “Pneumonia. Both lungs. Surprised you didn’t drop dead in the pool, really.”
Me: :eek:
Perhaps you could get some of your husband’s guy friends to mock him for being a weeny little scaredy cat to motivate him?
We’re guys. Many (most?) of us would rather drive around for 45 minutes than spend two minutes asking for directions. Some of us would rather spend an hour changing our car’s oil when we could get a garage to do it in half an hour for $15 (and our time is worth more than $15/hour!).
We just don’t like asking for help, or admitting we need it, OK? Now get out from in front of the TV, willya?
Most ailments/injuries seem to respond to basic first aid combined with common sense. (Of course, if we were doing all that well in the common sense category, we might not have gotten those injuries in the first place.)
I’ve got some significant foot problems - curiously, related to an oft-broken big toe. There’s not all that much to be done for a broken toe. Mine became a problem because I kept doing the same thing (jiu-jitsu), not letting the break heal and re-breaking it over and over. Brilliant, huh?
But if I went the route of surgery now, I know the first thing the doc would tell me is that I’m an idiot for running with such a messed up foot. I know that, but I want to continue running. And I’ve gotten opinions that since the foot is already messed up, so long as I can stand the pain I’m not really hurting it by pounding it more.
And I think there might be an element of thinking of the body as something that ages and gets worn out. So it is natural to accumulate a few dings and aches over time.
For me, the main concern is whether something is going to get worse if I do not seek treatment. If I can deal with the symptoms as they presently are, I’d just as soon eschew seeing a doctor. And I’m smart enough to know if something I’m doing is exacerbating a condition - I’m just not smart enough to stop doing it! The last thing I want is some doctor confirming my stupidity!
Broken toe or similar injury? Unless it hurts bad enough to require painkillers, doc isn’t going to do anything. And if it does hurt that bad, she usually recommends Tylenol or Advil (2nd degree burns over 30% of my feet and she slaps some salve on and tells me to take TWO Tylenol)
Cuts? Unless the blood loss exceeds the capabilities of the first aid kit, I got it under control.
Most illnesses? “You have a virus, go lay down and drink plenty of clear fluids”
Deep cough that interferes with sleep? I’m at the doctor demanding good cough syrup.
I will only go if I’m near death becasue I am extremely lazy and hate the hassle of scheduling appointment, finding address, finding building, parking, elevator, sitting in the waiting room, waiting on the doctor, etc. If doctors still made free house calls, I would use them more often.
Because I always end up getting boned financially. I don’t think there’s been a single time that I’ve gone to the doctor for a basic visit, paid my copay, and then not gotten some sort of extra bill months later - usually to the tune of hundreds of dollars - for something that my insurance decided not to cover, like the bloodwork or a test. Absolutely ridiculous, a racket, and I’m tired of it.
I’m female, and I don’t go to the doctor for broken toes. Well, I would if they were compound fractures or obviously pretty damned pulverized, but not a standard break. I sure wouldn’t decide to go running on it, though.
My husband finally went to the doctor after moping around for months feeling lousy, exhausted, etc. I tried to hold my tongue, but finally told him I was concerned about him and shouldn’t he go see a doctor? He went. High blood pressure, high cholesterol, plus he obviously already knew he was overweight. After trying to control them with just diet, he ended up going on low doses of a couple of common medications, plus watching his diet closely. He feels a hell of a lot better these days, and still has some weight to lose but has dropped a serious amount so far.
I know a lot of women who don’t want to go to the doctor for certain things, like to a gynecologist for a yearly pelvic, or to get a mammogram. I think one common factor is that they don’t want to hear bad news - whether that’s something disturbing like a bad diagnosis, or more mundane like, “You need to lose weight/stop smoking/(whatever other thing that’s hard to do and you don’t want to change).”
I think shrugging off minor injuries and/or living with pain makes people feel strong. Guys are raised with the message that to be masculine is to be strong, and because of this are more likely to err on the side of appearing tough and eschewing help.
However, it’s far from a universal male trait or confined only to males. Mrs. Giraffe, a lovely and exceedingly feminine lass, resists medical attention unless absolutely necessary. Of the two of us, I’m more likely to go to the doctor than she is.
Other than surgery and emergencies, doctors don’t provide nearly as much benefit to people in their daily lives as some (including doctors) would have you believe. Doctors get adoration way out of whack with
how useful they actually are
how difficult it is to acquire their skill set.
These things about ego, fear, feeling strong or macho. . .way too much thinking.
It’s pretty simple: it’s a pain in the ass to go to the doctor to have a guy tell you what you already know.
In the last 5 years, I’ve been to the doctor three times: for knee surgery, a vasectomy, and a sore throat that I KNEW was strep but since I can’t acquire antibiotics myself, I had to go.
You don’t need to see a doctor when you’re sick, or you have a burn, or a laceration, or a broken toe.
And if you’re completely overweight and lethargic. . .you know full well what’s wrong with you: you’re not active enough, and you don’t eat well. You can look at a mirror and diagnose yourself with hypertension and high cholesterol. And you know why you have a bad back, bad knees, and probably sleep apnea.
I agree with many of the reasons posted… here is another - I am 60 years old, and about 90% + of the visits I have made to doctors in my life have been a complete waste of time. No cure, no diagnosis, etc.
