" Men are big babies so we have to save them from their fear of Doctors" Fuck you !

In the past week, I’ve heard several different feature stories on t.v. and on CNN on the radio. ( XM Radio ). They all basically played the same theme- men are big babies, they have to be dragged to the doctor for regular physicals and certain tests and check-ups.

The worst was a doctor being interviewed on CNN. She said, " Look men really are just big babies and we women have to push and cajole them into having prostate exams. Hey guys, we just want you around a bit longer ! " Her entire approach was incredibly condescending and immature. She said, " Women? They have their gynocologist appointments and of course they have babies so they have NO PROBLEM seeing the doctor a lot every year".

Well, fuck you lady doctor. I’ve got female friends who don’t go to the gynocologist. I have one female friend who has not been to a gynocologist since her second child was born and that was over 13 years ago for chrissakes.

It’s just so fucking insulting. " We want you around a bit longer ! " Oh? Garbage needs taking out, does it? Tile needs grouting? Her attitude was just so appalling.

Adults of both genders either take care of themselves or don’t but man it’s a huge backhanded insult to say, " Happy Father’s Day, your gift from me is that I am wearing a necktie of yours to remind you to get a prostate exam cause I love you so I am wearing your necktie. So, go to the Doctor and that is your Father’s Day gift". Seriously- that was another story on t.v. Women and daughters wearing their father/husband’s neckties on Father’s Day, to let them know they cared.

Let’s turn this around.

" Happy Mother’s Day !! The kids and I are all wearing your bra’s around our waists, to let you know how important it is to do BSE’s and have a yearly mammogram. That nice relaxing day and dinner out? Fuck that- we’re going to insult your intelligence, degrade your sense of self preservation and strut around reminding you to spread em and crush em once a year !! "

How twisted. Assholes. Find me a male who isn’t aware of the age at which he needs to start having both 'scopes and bloodwork to keep an eye out for prostate cancer? ( Which last year killed more people than breast cancer, according to the Necktie Lady from the t.v. )


I read that in an advice column earlier this week - either Dear Abby or Ann Landers - as the columnist’s response to a man who was saying “women have the pink ribbon symbol for breast cancer but prostate cancer is ignored! We need awareness!” She suggested that women and girls wear ties as the symbol - so is it possible you were seeing the reaction to a man’s complaint?

Besides the pink ribbon for women, there’s also the red dress symbol for heart disease. So yes, we do get “omg take care of yourself already!” symbols pushed at us, thank you.

At least there wasn’t a request for something to symbolize colon cancer. :stuck_out_tongue: (BTW, my 75-year-old father-in-law survived colon cancer this year, after having his first colonoscopy ever earlier in the year. He got his clean bill of health last month and already he’s in denial about what he has to do to stay healthy and follow up with his doctor! :rolleyes: )

Can I have a cite for that “big baby” quote, or are you conveniently paraphasing through the prism of your, uh, righteous indignation?

The fact is that in a 2001 survey, 1/3 of all men reported not seeing a doctor in the past 12 months (as opposed to 1/5 of all women). Additionally, a smaller proportion of men visited doctors at least 3 times in that time period, as opposed to women (25 vs. 33). I’d say this Cite trumps your anecdotal “evidence”.

You said yourself prostate cancer killed more people–I suspect in part because men are less likely to visit a doctor, and therefore miss any early signs in the treatable stages (and yes, women get prostate cancer). There are any number of reasons why men might choose not to go–ignorance, false sense of security, forgetfulness, stubbornness–but that doesn’t change the fact that outreach is necessary to persuade men of its importance.

Maybe you don’t like feeling talked down to, but quite a number of men aren’t going to get the message without a sledgehammer approach. Ignoring one’s health (i.e. refusing to take action when it’s easily in one’s means to do so) is simply selfish if you have loved ones who depend on you. I feel bad that if someone told you they “wanted you around longer”, you would only assume the most mercenary of motives. The ties are meant as symbols of love and concern.

But hey, your thin-skinned, easy-to-offend sensibilities certainly should come first here, right? :rolleyes:

I would wager that it is impossible for the vast majority of women to get prostate cancer. Unless they were born intersexed or are transgendered, they don’t have prostates.

Got a cite for that?

That whole attitude just burns me up, that men can’t take care of their own shit and then their wives and girlfriends and mothers will run around after them reminding them of every damn thing they should be taking care of themselves.

You know why a lot of men are like that? Because their mothers raised them that way and their wives continue the tradition. All the laughing comments about how helpless men are and isn’t it so cute and we should all just indulge their immature little souls.

If my husband needs to do something for himself he does it. If he wants to go to the doctor he makes an appointment. If he doesn’t want to go it’s none of my business. Just because we’re married doesn’t mean I have to treat him like a child even if he acts like one. If he dies sooner because of it that’s too bad but it’s his choice. I’m know I’m doing things I shouldn’t and I sure don’t want him breathing down my neck every minute reminding me of what I already know.

Yes I’m generalizing, I realize all men aren’t like that. I’ve just seen it too many times and I see that it will continue until we stop treating men and boys as harmless idiots.

Eve mentioned once that she had to get both mammograms and prostate exams. I assume the examination is because she’s at some risk of prostate cancer.

Prostate cancer awareness campaigns always gloss over the fact that primary screening for prostate cancer (that is, screening everybody regardless of history or symptoms) is very controversial in the world of medicine. There just isn’t any evidence to show that we’re really helping anyone.

Only about 1/3 of people with positive screens (with PSA and a rectal exam) turn out to have prostate cancer. Out of those, a large majority will die from something else long before the prostate cancer becomes a problem, and yet they will be put through treatments and surgeries that have their own risks and detriments to quality of life. And in the minority whose cancers are aggressive enough to potentially be fatal, there is no evidence to show that catching the cancer early with the screen leads to any significant improvement over waiting until symptoms become apparent.

If you ask me, the only reason prostate cancer screening is as common as it is in the US is because doctors are scared to death that a patient will get prostate cancer and sue because he didn’t screen for it.

I don’t do it routinely. In people with family histories or with symptoms, I strongly recommend it. In other men over 50, I explain the risks and benefits and let them decide; if they ask me outright what I would do, I don’t recommend it. When people are out there squawking that every man over 50 should have an annual screen, and that their wives should nag them about it, it makes me look like a bad doctor.

(Not that an awareness campaign is a bad thing. Instead of insisting on annual testing, they should educate men about the warning signs of prostate cancer, such as changes in urinary habits or urine stream.)

What we don’t factor in is that a very large number of men don’t want to go to the doctor because they don’t want a finger stuck up their butts. Meanwhile, they’re not getting their high blood pressure, diabetes, cholesterol, etc. tested. If there were a demonstrable benefit to the test, I’d be the first in line telling men to suck it up and get over it, but since there isn’t, I can’t help but think we’d be better off if men didn’t think they were going to get pestered about it whenever they see the doc.

I guess that if a guy with a pregnant wife can tell people “we’re pregnant”, a woman whose husband has prostate cancer could tell people “we have prostate cancer”. Otherwise, aside from your gender identity/reassignment cases, not so much.

(It is true that men get breast cancer. However, it is far too uncommon for mammograms or any other primary screening to be beneficial.)


Never mind. :smack:

I once had an argument with my girlfriend about “we’re pregnant”. We can be pregnant just so long as we can have prostate trouble.

clap clap clap clap clap clap…

It’s sexism. But sexism done by women.

I do agree that the “you men are so fucking helpless with this stuff” attitude is stupid and counterproductive. However, I don’t have an issue with “awareness” movements (though yes, the PSA test is especially controversial, as DoctorJ mentioned) or with family members asking for you to please go get checked out. My husband asked me to see a dermatologist, and they caught a skin mole while it was still pre-cancerous. I asked him to go get a general physician and make an appointment when he was constantly exhausted last year. These days he’s 60 pounds lighter, has normal blood pressure and cholesterol (on low doses of meds), and importantly feels a lot better. Sometimes people need the nudge that a loved one telling them, “I’m concerned about your health” can provide.

That’s because she was born with a male reproductive system, since surgically revised.

Women born as women do not have prostates.

And I think that’s the big show stopper, right there.

And if I could get my birth control pills without having anything stuck up my nethers, I’d never go to the gynecologist either.

I really think that all the importance of all the poking and prodding is greatly exaggerated.

Here’s one. What age? 40?

Well, it’s exaggerated for people for whom nothing’s wrong, but the problem is that you don’t know that until after you’ve spent your life getting checked out. :wink: If you win that particular lottery in life, consider the poking and prodding an annoying-but-mostly-harmless payment. On the other hand, I know of two women - those are just the women I know who’ve admitted it to me - who got HPV (human papillomavirus) in college and who weren’t exactly promiscuous; one ended up with genital warts and the other with cervical cancer. Considering that the infection rates in the population for HPV and herpes are around 20-25%, I can see the push for yearly gyno checkups.

I hate poking and prodding with the best of them, I avoid doctors when I can. I am severly allergic to doctors :smiley: BUT the men in my family make me look doctor friendly.

My father is 64 and was told he needed a prostate check. His response? “I will die before someone sticks anything up my bum. That is all I have to say. It isn’t happening”

I LOATHE smears (who doesn’t??) but there is a generation of men who will not go to the doctor for the flu, prostate has NO hope.

That’s sorta what I was trying to get across, but I thought Excalibre knew Eve was born bio-male…

Eve was patient enough to answer my intrusive questioning as to why she still has one. It turns out that there’s no percentage in whipping the damn thing out willy-nilly. Small health risk in retaining the prostate, proportionately much bigger risk of damaging the urethra removing it.
And I think that’s <finger up the bum> the big show stopper, right there.

shrug I’ve had a haemorrhoids inspection, an internal one. I wouldn’t have thought the prostate exam could be much worse. It’s no biggie.

I don’t go to the doctor for the flu. I go to the doctor if there’s something I can’t fix myself, or something I want that I can only get by going to the doctor.

If the pill was available OTC, I’d never go. And I’ve heard all the speeches about HPV and cervical cancer. It’s a risk I’m willing to take. The only reason I go and put up with the poking and prodding is so that I can have my pills.